


Eternal Refrain

by LibertySun



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Romance, Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-30
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2014-06-16 10:48:42
Rating: M
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,845
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6438431/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2412077/LibertySun
Summary: Following a tragic loss, a depressed Brian becomes a Professor at Julliard in NY. His life is turned upside down when he meets a musical prodigy who is haunted by dark secrets & a connection to Brian's own past. Does love really conquer all? /Vampire Fic.





	1. Prologue

**Boston, MA 1910**

* * *

As his feet met the pavement, he was met with a sense of unease. The clouds hid the moon, an omen of soon impending darkness. A mixture of soft glows from the street lantern and the moon, illuminated the alley, revealing the gruesome scene before him. The heady scent of rust filled his brain, igniting the hell within. The monster's hunger grew.

Blue caught sight of thick crimson trickling down that alabaster throat. He could hear the blood's song singing through the mortal's veins. '_No. He mustn't give in._' he thought and quickened his pace.

"Please, no." the victim begged through choked sobs and weakened slaps against the ground. The soft sound of fading hope echoed faintly through the night.

His plans to pass the men without another glance had failed once he saw the attacker's face. _His love_. Abandoning all reason, he approached his one and only.

At his partner's arrival, the lean man smiled, "Ah, Welcome my love." he said amusedly. "Come to join me for a bite to eat, have you?" he asked with all the casualness of a weather inquiry.

Justin glanced towards the paling man at his companion's feet. The poor soul's life was evaporating into the night's heavy fog.

"Stop it. He cannot take much more!" Justin pleaded.

"Oh come now Justin, I was only fooling. My my, so touchy." the taller man clicked his tongue, and brought the meal to his feet.

The blond watched as his creator demanded the eyeline of the trembling stranger. Many times he'd bore witness to this, many times he'd done it himself.

"You will remember nothing of meeting me. You were on your way home, felt ill and stopped to rest." Brandon commanded.

"Felt ill. Stopped to rest." the man confirmed in monotone.

Brandon clapped once, "Good." then turned to face the blond.

"See my Love? No harm done."

Justin hadn't felt the same. _'No. Something still felt off.' _He had been determinedly trying to figure out said flaw when the screaming began.

"Monsters! Bloodsuckers..." The human yelled through hysterical gasps and ragged breaths.

"Why didn't it work? He's not compelled!" the blond exclaimed frantically.

"Hmm, it seems he is diseased. Why didn't I taste it?" Brandon muttered almost absentmindedly, pacing back and forth. Quickly coming to a decision he straightened his posture and met his mate's eyes. "You must kill him Justin. He shall ruin us, he has seen us both."

Justin's face raced his heart to fall through his feet first. It was a tie. He froze.

"No. I cannot take a life. I won't." he declared.

"Dammit you insolent coward! You must! Quickly now. I am weakened. The sickness in his bloodstream makes him resistant to my coercion for too long." Swiftly he found Justin's collar, and soon what lie beneath it. He removed the locket with one rough tug, and met blue. "_Kill him_!" the words were spoken directly to the creature within the blond. The creature that Brandon himself had placed there. "We haven't long. Rip his throat." he commanded.

Worriedly he knew the order would soon wear off. Though, he'd promised the other man he would never compel him against his will, this was for the sake of their survival. Besides, he himself couldn't let his hands get dirty. If any of this came to light, he had to be readily willing to turn on the blond and deny any prior knowledge. Though the blue eyed beauty had believed it was his heart (figuratively speaking) that Brandon had loved, he'd been wrong. His creator had fallen in love with Justin's talent. Jealousy of his gift had fueled the man to make Justin believe they were _soul mates_. Even now, Brandon often had a laugh at the blond's naviety. His music had been what had captivated him and the only thing Brandon had wanted to own.

Only one's creator had the power to compel another vampire. Justin stood shocked as Brandon yanked his locket, simultaneously ripping away his remaining shred of humanity.

Tearing the soul right out of him...for a second time.

Too soon to protest, his eyes locked with his commanders.

'_Kill him.'_ resounded loudly through his hollowed soul. He felt fucking sick. Justin was no killer. His hands had remained free of blood for multiple decades to date. Genuinely a lover, Justin Taylor had also been a fighter. Strenuously fighting _not _to defeat himself.

Two spoken words from the mouth of he whom he'd trusted, had turned the blond into what he'd always feared the most. _'A Soulless being'_

As he felt the warmth of flesh underneath his teeth, he trembled. Never had he both craved and loathed something so intensely. The human's fear tasted bitter, but sweetened as he became delirious.

The moment the man's heart ceased to beat, Justin pulled back. No longer under his lover's spell, he starred in horror.

Worry and regret illuminated the night like the light of a thousand suns, that he would never see.

"How could you make me do that? You have broken your promise." he cried whilst wiping the blood from his face, however was unable to remove his shame with his sleeve. He was disgusted with his companion, but more so with himself.

"I'm sorry. I was weakened from his tainted taste." Brandon reasoned. "If you hadn't killed him we would have had a stake through our hearts before dawn." he thought he sounded sensible.

He however chose _not_ to disclose those other thoughts vastly finding their way to the surface of his twisted mind. For instance, how utterly delicious he'd found it to watch his blond take a life. Or perhaps the erotic excitement that spawned at the sight of Justin's mouth tearing into innocent flesh. A lustful shiver found it's way through the length of Brandon's body. Music aside for a moment, his craving for Justin had never been so intense.

He felt the metal locket in his palm, it's coolness undetected against the ice of his skin. Reluctantly, he returned the jewelry back to his companion.

Though he knew that this had been the first time Justin Taylor had taken a life, and though it may have been the first time he had ever compelled his mate; it most certainly would not be the last. For either.

Justin hurriedly re-clasped the locket around his neck. A wave of sadness broke as he no longer felt that he possessed the right to wear it. It had been his mother's when he had had a heartbeat. The final shard of his life, and the only thing standing between his free will and Brandon's control.

'_How had his lover of so many years so frivolously done this to him? Had he no care for Justin's heart?_' he knew how much the blond loathed the thought of murdering an innocent. He preferred to simply feed, make them forget and move on.

Tonight had changed everything.

He looked now at Brandon who looked...'_Amused?...Turned on?_' Observing fully, his companion's frighteningly smug grin, Justin had never felt more alone.

Any strand tying him to his humanity had been severed by the one man who'd claimed to love him. Leaving him falling fiercely into the depths of hell. '_Where he belonged_.'

He felt Brandon's hand wrap around his waist, he cringed. The blond's thoughts swirled in a haze of confusion and repulsion. He had once begged this man to turn him in to this vile creature of the night. He had spoken tales of true love and eternity; but Brandon was not the man he'd once perceived. Each time that he'd listened, his lies he'd believed.

His insides restricted. Withering further still as he realized the numbing truth. Now that it was too late. _'True love didn't exist.'_

Wordlessly, he'd turned from his companion and sauntered off. The hurt increased with each step in his stride, on this night of his second death.

Emotions ran rampant with no destination, freely they flowed without hesitation.

_'He was an abomination. He had to get away. He was _never_ going to kill again.'_

...If only that had been true...


	2. Memoriam

**New York, NY Present Day **

**Wednesday night**

* * *

_"Mikey? Mikey let's go, I don't want your mom ridin' my ass. I'd rather ride that hot pianist." Brian's eighteen year old voice called. _

_The brunet pushed his way through the hectic crowd. _'Where was that little shit?'

_A dense fog filled the room, his limbs grew increasingly heavy. Abruptly he found himself before the stage exit, with massive effort he'd managed to push it open. _

_"Mikey?" he barely whispered. He listened intently, but was only greeted with the reply of that from the dead. Silence. _

_The dimly lit alley seemingly swirled around him, dizzying his thoughts. A faint cry kissed the air. _'Michael.'

_Brian's feet refused to move. His eyes found the source of the now intensified screaming. Darkness threatened to overshadow his coherence. _'What the hell was happening?'

_A wretched wail pierced the night. Michael was suffering. Familiar light eyes locked with his own, paralysis still in place. _'The Pianist.'_ A sea of nausea churned within, panic consumed him wholly._

_ "Boys?" Deb's voice broke his trance like state, and eye contact. The enticing stranger seemingly vanished against the night. Brian fumbled forward and knelt beside the crumpled form of his best friend. His Brother. _

_"Mikey." the word came like grated steel. Painful in his throat. _'Throat._' His fingers touched Michael's neck, then he brought them to his face. It paled. _

_Liquid life profusely poured from Michael's neck. L__iquid grief profusely poured from Brian's eyes._

_Rage found the brunet's everything. He fiercly punched the ground on which Michael's lifeless body lie, shattering his hand. Shattering life as he knew it._

As his nightmare carried him into reality, he'd heard it. That tantalizing melody that always played just below the surface of consciousness.

Brian shot up with a start. Drenched in sweat and sleep spawned tears, he sighed. Desperately he tried to grasp the song and pale faced stranger in his mind. However, as like every time before, both lain unreachable in the distance.

Glancing towards the clock he noted the time, 5:15 P.M. '_Shit, time to get ready._' This semester he'd (regrettably) agreed to teach night courses. This evening was Musical Theory II for fourth years. '_Great. Pompous seniors._' he mentally scowled. Adding to his discord was the fact that Justin Taylor, this year's golden boy, was on his roster. Imported from heaven they'd have him to believe. Brian was not much anticipating a know-it-all prodigy telling him how to do his job.

Grudgingly, he pulled his ass out of bed. Starting the coffee pot, he searched the cabinets for an additive stronger than milk. Two shots of beam later (sans the coffee), Brian stepped into the shower.

Guilt rained down, wrapped within each heated drop. The brunet held his head under the cascade, uselessly trying to wash away his dream. His _memories._

His fingers found the guitar pick that hanged in memoriam around his neck.

It had been eleven years since he had been altogether whole. Eleven desolate years without Mikey's laugh. Without Mikey's _love_.

Though so much time had passed, Brian could still feel the warmth of the man's blood on his hands. Regardless of how hard he'd scrubbed.

That night he had adamantly insisted that one of the amateur show's performer's had hurt Michael. Debbie and Vic had just as adamantly dismissed him. Stating shock or drugs had deluded his sense of reality. Leaving him a scared and unreliable witness. He'd spurred an entirely different lashing when he'd claimed the attacker had been drinking from Michael's throat. _'Brian Kinney, Pittsburgh's own crazy teenage drug addict, promiscuous grief stricken alcoholic'. _

If only Mikey had survived. He would have confirmed that they never drank or took anything before a concert. Wishing to be completely clear headed and sober when it came to music. The only shared love greater than their love for one another.

As he thought now of Michael's dream, regret found him. After graduation they had planned to audition for The Julliard School together.

Michael's fingers would never play another cord. Brian's wouldn't either.

The brunet's piano had retired along with Novotny's guitar that night. He had broken his hand in four places. Not that he'd had any desire to play without his friend's accompaniment. Tremors still often found his once graceful touch.

Years passed in the Pitts, soon Michael Novotny's unsolved murder became a barley whispered secret amongst the towns folk. '_How could they just forget?_' Brian himself replayed the loss as frequently as he breathed. Feeling guilt with each intake of air that Mikey would never get.

Though his body had halted his dreams for stardom at Carnegie Hall; he continued his education in music.

This marked his third year as a Professor at The Julliard School of the Arts. He'd taught every lecture as if Mikey was in attendance.

Drying off and hurriedly dressing, hazel met his watch, 6:00 P.M. '_Christ, he was late._' He smiled to himself '_Mikey wouldn't have been on time anyway._' He grabbed his briefcase and exited his apartment.

* * *

Blue eyes found the time on the lone clock in the now empty hallway. 6:01 P.M. Professor Kinney was late. Promptness had never really mattered to Justin, _'Hell, he quite literally had forever to wait.'_

He threw a glance to the already seated students, he himself would not be able to sit until properly invited by Mr. Kinney. Though, there were several 'wives tales' regarding vampires that he had often found amusing, the 'must be invited bit' held merit. The School itself was public domain, however each classroom belonged respectfully to the Professor in charge. He sighed.

Two weeks previously, he had been in Hollywood, California attending The Musician's Institute; when he'd received a call from The Julliard School offering him an open place in their graduate program. It had been over a decade since he'd been in New York, his favorite city in the world.

He had stood present at the corner stone ceremony of Carnegie Hall in 1890. There he'd first fallen in love, twice in the same day. Once with Brandon, and once with music. Though the first had turned into a relentless nightmare continually haunting him, the latter remained ever present in his heart. It was the only thing Justin felt was worth existing an eternity for.

The golden haired man had been performing on the streets. Justin giddily fawned over his playing. It had been Brandon who had first introduced him to the piano, so quickly Justin had exceeded the other man's skill. Melody came as natural as thought. Thinking back, he was unsure how he had ever missed his creator's obvious envy.

They were no strangers to stages and streets across the country; Justin had performed as Brandon's puppet being controlled by his heartstrings.

Brandon had craved the attention, Justin had craved only the sound.

Embracing the feeling the music always elicited in him, it was almost as if God had not forgotten him, and was sharing a bit of heaven. What he wouldn't give now, for a glimpse of his outlook then. Back when he had believed he wasn't entirely damned.

Men would only further destroy his already damaged soul (or lack there of), whilst melodies remained faithful forever.

He was ecstatic to be in Julliard. Living in the dorms, constantly surrounded by musician's practice, and endless inspiration. He would attack this venture armed with the intent to seize every moment. It had taken him too long to return, as New York had been Brandon's last known killing ground.

He cringed at the thought and slid down the wall just outside of the classroom.

Against his inner protest his thoughts drifted once again to _him_, the picture of callousness forever painted on his brain.

After the first life he'd so viciously taken; Justin's own life had plunged him into the dismal pit he'd often envisioned monsters, such as he, would dwell.

As he struggled now to recall specific details, his heart grew heavy. It was impossible to recollect most of the past century. Terrifyingly blank chunks of time forever lost. Stolen from him without remorse.

An intense pounding found his mind, it physically pained him whenever he tried to conjure his own memories. Though he never could quite stake a claim on them.

The memories he couldn't remember, belonged to the man he couldn't forget.

'_How had he believed he'd ever loved him?_'

It took longer than he'd care to admit for the blond to realize the horrendous acts he'd been forced to commit. His thoughts now surrounded by a wall of unease and frightening revelation. Not unlike having been possessed by the devil himself, Brandon had repeatedly compelled him to murder. There was no accurate way to calculate the number of innocents he'd slain. He hated himself.

Twice he'd considered ending his dare he call it '_life_'. He hadn't brought himself to do it. Both times he'd firmly grasped his mother's locket, desperately wanting to feel connected to humanity.

His insane dream ignited by hollow hope, that perhaps somewhere deep within him, a sliver of a soul still lingered.

Over the years he had managed to fight his mental captor and escape several times. Leaving the darkness in the shadows, locket in hand. Unfortunately the number of freedoms nearly equaled the number of recaptures, further increasing the quantity of blood on Justin's hands.

His heavy sigh met the air. It had been seven years since he had heard anything of his creator. He could only hope he had finally met his fate. Seven blissful years in which Justin was certain he had not killed. Only feeding on his bed partners, and careful never to take from one for too long.

Just sex. Just blood. No emotion. In actuality his heart had died long ago, and he would mourn it no more. He had finally accepted the loss, and his profound disbelief in love made it easy.

His dismal thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a clearing throat. Crystal blue locked with hazel._ 'This human had the most beautifully intense eyes he'd ever seen.'_

Having recently fed, Justin felt the blush find his face. An action that increased Mr. Kinney's blood flow. Hearing the brunet's rapidly intensifying pulse caused Justin to grin. He stood.

"Justin Taylor I presume?" Brian inquired a tad snide.

_'Christ. This Kid was gorgeous. Hell, even if Boy Wonder turned out to be pretentiously dull, at least he had a hot ass.'_

Brian shifted uncomfortably as the blond just stood, staring. A shiver assulated his spine, he dropped his briefcase.

Simultaneously, both men reached to retrieve it, only to fumble and drop it again._ 'Fuck. What was it about this man that was bringing out all of his clumiest qualities?'_

Quickly recovering _'Brian Kinney doesn't do __embarrassed_', he met the man's eyes. Eyes that were seemingly. searing. his. flesh. He shook his head in an attempt to ease some of the ridiculously increasing heat.

"Waiting on a written invitation? Perhaps, you'd like me to roll out the red carpet?" Brian gestured towards the door. Voice full of seriousness. Eyes full of amusement.

Justin simply grinned wider, _'A spoken invitation would suffice_' "Oh, please Sir, you first." he spoke in a sickenly polite manner that made Brian want to roll his eyes.

"No, after you _Hollywood_." he said, then raised his eyebrow "and cut the 'Sir' shit. Makes me feel old." he added, very much enjoying the rush to his cock as his eyes followed Justin's ass into the classroom.

Justin was equally enjoying the sudden surge through the Professor's veins.

This having not been his first time through college, he hadn't expected to learn much. He found himself excitedly grateful that at least this sexy teacher could help him pass the time.


	3. His Song

'_How was it possible for this man to be mortal?_' Justin's mind was whirling.

Vampires were notorious for their beauty. Brian Kinney's far exceeded them all. Never had he seen a more breathtaking human.

He had spent the majority of class relentlessly staring at his Professor. The remaining time, Justin had spent _listening_ to him. Not to his words, but to his _song_.

The melody one's heart makes as their blood courses through it. The rushing symphony that plays through their veins. Everyone's song is different. The brunet's was somber, every. note. flat.

Justin could hear the man's inner anguish; he was tormented by a secret the blond found himself yearning to unlock. Brian Kinney was enigmatic. His saddened heart and bitter scent only enhanced the student's intrigue.

A human's emotions were intertwined with their blood. Directly affecting one's scent and taste. As sympathetic blue eyes followed the teacher's movements, he couldn't help but smell his anger. His grief. His self pity.

His mind delivered an image of the bronzed god...crying. The thought further emptied Justin's already hollowed soul. It seemed unjust for someone so seemingly confident, so eloquent, so _beautiful _to ever have to suffer.

His newfound empathy for this stranger startled him. '_Why did he care? No one had ever cared this much about _him_. No, this man meant nothing._' He shook his head to remove the vision from his mind, only to quickly regret it. He hated to leave the man in his thoughts. He could hear him crying, paining him to the bone. Just left his heart there dying, if he opened his eyes he'd be alone.

Longing for the warmth of the golden skin he'd never touched, he heard his name.

"Mr. Taylor?"

It was at first distant, for he'd been standing at the end of a tunnel of thought.

"Mr. Taylor." He heard again. _Very close_. He blinked.

Professor Kinney loomed above him and was addressing him pointedly. Pushing aside the ridiculous need to embrace the saddened man, he cleared his throat.

"Yes?"

"Nice of you to join us." The teacher said bemused.

Justin smiled timidly.

"Would you care to answer the question Mr. Taylor?" Brian asked irritatedly, knowing full well that although the blond had _appeared_ focused, had been somewhere else entirely.

"What piece did Josef Hofmann play for his Carnegie Hall recital debut in 1891?" Brian repeated for the second time.

"Surely you meant Ignace Jan Paderewski." Justin answered quickly, feeling like an asshole. He probably shouldn't have undermined the man, but he had known the answer because he had watched Paderewski's recital in person.

Something like embarrassment flickered in Brian's eyes. He swallowed the angry words his lips wanted to spill. "Nice to see you're paying attention after all Mr. Taylor." He attempted to portray his mistake as intentional. No one bought it. Least of all Brian himself.

He had in fact been wrong, mixing up the names. '_What was it with this blond that got him so fucking flustered?_' Whatever-the fuck it was, he hadn't much cared for it.

He placed his hand on Justin's shoulder. Instantly at their contact, Brian heard distinct moaning in his mind. He had been fairly certain they were sounds of passion, and did not belong to him. His eyes locked with blue. Quicker than a moment, a flash came through his mind.

_Deliciously pale flesh bathed in soft light. Those slender limbs tangled within blue satin sheets._

Feeling his erection straining dominantly against his pants, he pulled his hand away.

He closed his eyes, briefly unsure if he was trying to _remove_ or _hold onto_ the sexy image a little longer.

Brian had instantly recognized the bed in his vision as his own. '_What the hell was going on?_' Brian Kinney didn't do daydreams. Especially not one's involving little blond genius Twinkies.

He cleared his throat, choking back the rising lust he'd found there.

"Well Mr. Taylor, you'll have a chance to learn what else I don't know on Saturday." He said in jest, turning to address the rest of the class.

"I'll be going off campus to the Carnegie Hall Rose Museum at ten a.m this Saturday. We'll have free reign of the archives." He smiled. "For any of you who would care to join me, please put your name down as you leave." He said, taping a sign up sheet to the door. "I suppose since I made you all wait for my tardiness, it'd be fair to release you early." He gestured toward the door.

Collective sounds of approval quickly filled the room, accompanied by the bustle of students gathering their belongings. Scattered '_Goodnight Professors_' caught Brian's ears, though he hadn't looked up from his desk until he heard _his_ voice.

"Professor Kinney?" Justin inquired softly.

Pulling on his coat, Brian raised his eyes. '_Fuck he was gorgeous._'

"What is it Mr. Taylor?" He drawled with more confidence than he'd felt. In actuality he was trying to will his mind _not_ to picture this man underneath him. Trying to will his ears, _not _to hear the phantom moans of pleasure protruding from those fucking perfect lips.

"I just wanted to apologize for my correcting you infront of the class. I wasn't thinking,"

Justin's words were halted by Brian's hand. "Apologies are a waste of time. You were right. End of story." Brian said walking towards the door.

Justin was unable to determine his Professor's mood, though he didn't appear upset.

He _listened._

The brunet's heart was racing and Justin could plainly hear blood surging downward. _'The man was turned on.'_

Justin sighed and lightly touched Mr. Kinney's arm. "OK, well then, goodnight." He'd barely whispered as Brian turned out the lights and they stepped into the hallway.

He had been caught off guard by the powerful flashes in his mind, that had ignited with the slight touch.

_Justin saw himself intertwined with the man now before him. The stark contrast in their skin tones, further highlighted by Brian's glistening sweat._

The previous stagnant pool of desire in his belly began to ripple violently, threatening an outpour of sexual need.

Observing the brunet's uncomfortable shifting and his goddamn waltzing erotic aroma, Justin faltered. '_Was it possible this man was sharing his mysterious heated daydreams?_'

The lust running through the brunet was changing his _song_. Altering it's pitch, a tune that played it's way straight through Justin's loins.

An equal fire found his throat, he needed to drink. '_Not from Brian._'This personal declaration confused him further still. Never had he hesitated to taste anyone he'd desired.

This Professor was rapidly bringing forth too many lost feelings. He had grown accustomed to his no emotions policy, and hadn't planned to change it.

Another moment passed in awkward silence.

"Until tomorrow evening." Justin almost bowed, but hurriedly halted the timeless action. Choosing instead to shoot a half-hearted wave in the other man's direction, and hauled ass down the hallway.

"Until tomorrow evening." Brian told the now empty hallway in a dramatically pretentious tone.

'_What the fuck was that? Trust fund twat no doubt_.'

As he replayed the image of Justin's receding form down the hall, he almost whimpered. '_Get a grip Kinney,_' he scolded.

In truth, normally he'd have just fucked and dumped the kid. Easily releasing his tension, showing the man just exactly who was in charge. But Justin Taylor was his student. Brian enjoyed his job and wasn't prepared to throw it all away for a piece of pretty blond boy ass.

Collecting his thoughts, he let his erection guide him. It was leading him to the backroom of RUSH. There he'd have a drink and a Twink, and be Just. Fucking. Fine.

He'd only had two prerequisites:

1. Have a hot and willing ass.

2. _Not_ be a blond.

'_Yes. His cock always did have one hell of a sense of direction._'


	4. Phantoms

**Thursday Night**

* * *

Never before had a random trick not done, well, the trick. Last night, 'frivolous fuck number who-the-fuck knew' had only heightened Brian's desire for one Justin Taylor. Off limits. Student. Completely not his type. That being said, the brunet had still found himself envisioning his cock buried within the blond's tightness with every thrust into the lucky stranger. Not even this afternoon's strenuous workout at the gym had managed to lessen his tension.

_'What the hell was wrong with him? Brian Kinney didn't lust after _anyone_. No. they came to _him_, in bulk.'_

He began to worry now, as even the vastness of the Alice Tully Hall (Julliard's largest auditorium) was proving too small to contain his immense confusion. He was seated on the stage hardly listening to Professor Schmidt give the seniors the rundown of this year's collective workshop, 'Phantom of the Opera'. He was more focused on a certain blond who was sitting in the third row, seventh seat from the left. Not that he'd counted.

Brian's profound confusion further grew, in sync with a new _unpleasant _feeling brewing in his belly. A foreign sensation spawned from the sight of the dark headed violinist who was all but sitting in Justin's lap. He'd tried to look away, to look _anywhere_ but at the student. His attempts had been less than successful. The adorable fucker had even had the nerve to waltz into the brunet's dreams last night. Where, mind you, he'd had no business being.

The Professor groaned internally (he'd hoped) as he watched Justin move a stray piece of fallen hair from the fiddler's eyes. Only to follow the action with a ghost of a kiss on the other man's throat. Instinctively Brian's tongue tasted the kiss of those succulent lips he'd never kissed.

_'OK. What-ever-the-fuck was going on in his stomach needed to calm the hell down.' _He knows what you're thinking,but Brian Kinney doesn't do jealous. And not a single fucking butterfly was fucking fluttering within.

At first Brian had been excited that although Music Theory II was a Wednesday/Friday course, he'd be seeing Justin tonight. Now, as he sat in this large room full of both Julliard and The School of American Ballet fourth years, he felt suffocated. He glanced at his watch, then back towards the opera instructor who was passing out sheet music for next month's auditions. Silently he thanked anyone who may, or may not have been listening, that this meeting was almost over.

Although several of the brunet's body parts were simultaneously begging for different things, his lungs were winning with their request for fresh air.

* * *

As Justin listened to the hundreds of _songs _that beat around him, he tuned them out and aptly honed in on one. Professor Kinney's. He'd been slightly taken aback at the ease in which he'd recognized the newly learned melody. Though still dispiriting, it also held notes of anxiety. '_What was he nervous about?_' he wondered as he looked up and caught hazel. Brian had quickly averted his gaze, but Justin had seen him seeing him.

He relished in the heat from Brian's eyes. Eyes that had seen his own dreams, as they'd been ever present in his earlier slumber.

The pulsating of Ethan's blood beside him pulled Justin's stare away from the stage. Ethan Gold, one of his roomates, had been instantly attracted to him from the moment they'd met. A familiar reaction among mortals, both male and female alike. The kid's infatuation had added a mouthwatering element to his veins.

Though Justin had little to no sexual interest in the Violin player, he had made for a convenient fuck, and delectable feast. All he'd had to do was occasionally fuel the flame with a few caresses and romantic drivel to keep the boy swooning. He gently kissed the throat he'd be indulging on later.

He brought his focus back to Professor Schmidt. He enjoyed the happiness the man exuded while speaking. He was clearly passionate about the topic 'Phantom of the Opera_'_. Justin himself held a closeness for the story. Gaston Leroux's 'Le Fantôme de l'Opéra' first appeared in print in 1909; later making it's stage debut in London's West End in 1986. Justin had attended the show with Brandon, and still had his first edition book, who's words he frequented.

The joyfulness that had often found him when he'd think of 'Phantom' was now rivaled by dismal parallels between the tale and the tragedy that had become his _life_. '_All the world's a stage. Shakespeare had said._' Justin sometimes wished the curtain would just fucking fall already.

He felt a certain affinity with Christine; the plays young beauty who'd aversely earned the obsessive admiration of Erik, a lost soul fanatically fixated with her voice. Brandon had been equally beset and obsessed with Justin's own musical talents.

Though unlike the romanticized version, the blond had not played the part of muse. Rather, stepping stone, or prop. Neither had it shared it's theme of 'If you love something set it free'. No, Brandon had in fact imprisioned him within his own skin. Forever turning him into his own sort of monster, cursed to forever lurk in the shadows.

Justin was pulled from his thoughts by a flash of white. The kid to his right was frantically shoving sheet music infront of him. Taking the papers, he stood and began to put them into his bag. Enjoying the freedom to stretch, he did exactly that.

"I wish we could go grab a bite or something," Ethan said grabbing Justin's hand "but the quartets' got the Morse Hall for rehersal. The acoustics in there are amazing." he grinned.

"I'll grab a bite later." Justin told the sappy doe-eyed school boy, and _meant_ it. Quite literally.

"What's up boys?" a voice inquired. Daphne._ 'Infatuated roommate numero dos.'_

"I've got practice." Ethan answered quickly. "But you can keep Justin company for me." he added. Justin resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

These two were _not_ the brunets whose company Justin craved.

"Sorry, can't." she smiled shyly. "I've got a date." the dancer beamed, leaving her roommates after a quick kiss to both.

Ethan followed suit, with a brief brush against the blond's lips, he left.

A sigh of relief met the air. Instinctively he searched the room for Professor Kinney. The search had been short lived. The tall drink of sexy stood but inches from his startled face.

Brian had cursed his feet on their entire venture over here. '_Why wouldn't his body cooperate with his instructions?_'

He hadn't known exactly why he had the urge to catch the blond before he left. Why he felt the need to talk to him, at least a word, before he himself could head home. Neither could he explain the weird as fuck feeling he felt as he watched the fiddler leave.

But here he was. Too close for comfort, blue eyes waiting for all of those explanations he didn't have.

"So, you going to audition?" he heard himself ask. '_Christ. That was right up there with 'How's the weather?' Which by the way was getting moody_.'

Before Justin could answer, a boisterous crash of thunder vibrated above them. Drops of rain played in fluctuating notes on the roof.

"I don't know," the blond began "wow, this storm came out of nowhere huh?" '_Ugh. That was right up there with 'What's your sign?'_'.

Awkward chuckles sang together.

"Well, Goodnight." Brian offered quickly, and turned to leave. Very much wanting to reach the damn fumbling teenager inside of him and beat his ass.

Though he was undoubtedly craving something stronger, for now, coffee and a sandwich would suffice. 'Y_es. The feeling he'd been feeling in his stomach all night, was _hunger_. He was sure of it._'

While Justin's eyes watched Brian's body exit the auditorium, his mouth salivated. His cock was also throwing in it's two cents, but the blond tried his best to ignore it.

The musician within replayed Brian's less depressing, jittery _song_ as he made his way outside. The rain had eased, it now merely fell as soft black static against the night. Still, he embraced the brisk autumn drops as they met his already cooled skin.

Reaching the Samuel B. and Daniel Rose building, his unneeded air caught in his throat. Professor Kinney was exiting, coffee in one hand, while his other hand abruptly touched Justin's arm.

Mingling flesh evoked a brisk blinding flash, momentarily paralyzing both men from motion. Unbeknownst to whom were sharing the same aphrodisiacal vision.

_Warmth bore down on writhing bodies. A smooth white surface caresses flesh. The distinguished scent of rose petals hung heavy in the air._

"Hey." Brian smiled, he held up his cup "Just grabbed dinner. Would you," he gestured back towards the cafe "like anything?"

Justin gave a slight smile "No thank you. I'm not hungry at the moment."

"OK." the brunet replied quietly, then met the blond's eyes. "I'm just headed to the Lila Wallace library. Looking for an original Leroux print." he smiled "Schmidt's got me on Ad duty for the workshop." he rambled further, wishing like hell he'd stop soon.

The blond granted him a reprieve. "It just so happens, I've got a first edition print. You're more than welcome to it." Justin offered, simultaneously hoping this man would both _agree to_ and _decline to_ go to his room.

Brian's heart thumped loudly against his chest. He stupidly worried the blond could hear it. "That'd be great. Can I give you a lift home?" the Teacher asked.

Justin heard the brunet's heart thumping loudly against his chest. If his own had had a beat, he was more than convinced it'd be doing the same.

"Actually, we're already here." he said cheerfully "Home sweet home. Floor twelve." he pointed upwards.

Brian bit back the urge to draw the delicate digit fully into the warmth his mouth. He as well, stifled his hand's insistence on running through those glistening wet golden locks.

"After you." he opened the door, and ushered the student inside.


	5. Muse

As they began their ascending journey towards Justin's dorm, Brian tensed. Every muscle and nerve ending he possessed was on high alert. Being enclosed in close proximity with this blond, away from the rest of the world was almost more than he could handle.

They'd only been in this tiny space for a solitary moment and already he'd pictured fucking the other man against the door. On the floor. Against this railing. His eyes followed the movement of the lights with each passing floor.

Light beads of perspiration joined the raindrops stowed away on his hairline as he wondered why it was that time exceeded all possible space when one was losing patience._ 'Seriously, the twelfth floor could just as well have been on the fucking moon.'_

Though of course he was only in a hurry to get off of the elevator to resist the tempting pull this blond had on him. He hadn't understood the intensity of the attraction, and he never much cared for anything that made him feel less than genius.

Right now the little blond 'unwelcome thought provoker' was unknowingly trying his best to get taken hard and fast right the fuck now. He was humming _'All I ask of you'_, though Brian had barely made out the tune as he was far too busy imagining that _same_ humming around his rapidly rising erection.

The elevator stopped. Relief fleeting as he noted it was only floor seven and two giggling girls stepped on. Justin apparently knew them as they were practically throwing themselves at his feet. Brian chuckled to himself,_'Mr Popular'_.

Quickly he caught those blue eyes and offered him and the girls a small nod, then shivered. He made a show of rubbing his hands together as if the cool autumn rain was seeping in. In reality the shiver had had nothing to do with the weather. It had been those goddamn eyes.

Though Brian had wanted to shamelessly stare at the artistry of the man beside him, he nervously avoided anymore eye contact. He slowed his racing thoughts to a steady walk. He focused on the task at hand. _'Get in. Get the book. Say goodnight. Leave.'_ Yes, he could do this.

Taylor was his student, he couldn't risk his roommates drawing their own conclusions. He stopped himself before he let himself further imagine what delicious conclusions they may have been. He tried once again to focus on his quick escape plan.

Justin wasn't helping with his ridiculously _'dare he call it _cute' laugh as he happily chatted with the two naively flirtatious women, that were a penis short of being the blond's type. He however was very much the blond's type and was very much experiencing some extreme straining discomfort in his prized possession.

The elevator came once again to a halt, this time delivering the ballerinas, he'd learned, to the eleventh floor. Then it was just the two of them again. Brian's pulsating cock screamed for attention._ 'OK. The _three_ of them.'_

"This is our stop." Justin's delicate voice announced. Brian, however was already pressed against the door as if he could open it sooner by the power of will. The chime of freedom sounded and the brunet spilled into the hallway. Thus bringing an end to the Longest. Ride. In. History.

Approaching his door, Justin was reveling in the erotic thumping of his Professor's heart. _'Yes. Lust most definitely sounded good on him.' _Too fast to control himself, his mouth imagined how delicious said sound would taste. He gulped, pushing the burning need down his now equally burning throat.

"My humble abode." the blond gestured with a grand sweep of his arm as they entered the large common room of his triple dormitory. The unit was equipped to house eight students, though for now it held only Daphne, Ethan, the new shy kid whose name he'd hadn't managed to get, and himself.

Tossing his keys and bag onto the kitchen's counter, he turned to observe the taller's man awestricken face.

"Christ. This place is nicer than my apartment." he shot a grin to Justin then continued his walk through. The place was incredibly spacious, aptly decorated and much cleaner than Brian had envisioned a home of several college students. "Maybe I should've been a student." he attempted to joke, but let his humor fall away as he remembered exactly why that had never been. Phantom tremors found the broken dream at the end of his wrist. "So about that book." he said in effort to change the subject.

"Oh right." Justin fumbled having clear forgotten the purpose of this man being in his home. "It's in my room." he motioned for the teacher to follow him.

He had been listening with intent interest at the man's rapidly changing chords. He had never before heard a more complex human. He had started lustful, slowly merging into nervous, humorous but then something had shifted. Brian had become saddened again, which had in turn saddened the vampire himself. He wished he had had the ability to hear the puzzling man's thoughts.

Now, as they entered his exceedingly large room (originally meant for three students) the brunet's song had found yet _another_ tune. This one pleasant, sweet and damn near crippling in intensity.

Brian let out an audible gasp at the sight of the beauty before him. It was exquisite. He stepped forward and carefully let his fingers trail along it's smooth top. "This is incredible." he whispered as much to himself as to Justin.

With it's grandeur demanding his attention, the Bosendorfer 290 Imperial grand piano sat center stage of the room. If he'd believed in it, Brian Kinney could have found himself falling in love. It was gorgeous, and costing the better part of his salary, he briefly wondered how a college student could afford it. More so though, his fingers itched to play it. Of course that was out of the question. His hands hadn't touched ivory in eleven years.

Using every ounce of his heightened senses, Justin stood desperately trying to take in as much of the brunet as he could. His mind fervently memorizing his every flawless feature. Trying to catalogue every note he'd ever played. Trying to hold onto the scent of the immense awe and admiration the man was feeling now. Evidently, Brian Kinney's passion for music further increased with the piano.

Against his own intentions, he thought about the ease with which he could compel the brunet right now. Taste him. Indulge. How effortlessly he could take what he wanted and make him forget. _'No.'_ he lectured the monster within. _'He was never going to play with this man.' _

Though he was unsure as to why, if he'd never known anything else, the blond knew this... He was _never_ going to drink from Brian Kinney. He was_ never_ going to manipulate the golden man's reactions. Perhaps it was because he'd found the Professor so uniquely intriguing. Perhaps because he'd been completely enthralled with the labyrinth of emotions constantly churning inside him. Perhaps because he was enjoying his own maelstrom of contradictory emotions the brunet was bringing out in him.

He approached the piano, placed the book onto it's surface, then danced his hands lightly across it's keys. "Do you play?" he inquired.

"Huh?' Brian's head snapped up, drawing his focus from the beautiful instrument, to the beautiful boy. _'What had he asked? Oh play?' _"No." he said quickly, then added "Not anymore. I did once, a lifetime ago." his latter words escaping in a hushed trail. He let his eyelids fall, and embraced the portrait of Mikey he'd found there.

_'There it was again. The sadness. The regret.' _Justin tilted his head slightly as he observed the taller man who was lost somewhere in his yesterday. Eyes closed, he looked softer, younger, and the new addition of this youth like vulnerability had the blond wanting to pull Brian close. He didn't.

He took a step back from himself and observed this reaction. _'What did it mean?'_ It had been too long since Justin had felt the desire to appease anyone's pain. To comfort. To care. To _love? ' No. Love was bullshit.' _

Though even as he reiterated this knowledge to his heart, it chose to ignore him._ 'Was it possible that Brian Kinney was meant to become a beacon of light in his world full of darkness?'_

He was retrieved from his thoughts by the brunet's words and movement. "You're composing?" Brian inquired genuinely impressed. He reached to get a better look at the prodigy's written song.

Justin's ever ready reflexes allowed him to reach the sheet music just before the Professor. Feeling somewhat foolish, he hugged the papers to his chest and grinned shyly. "Oh. It's just a sonata I've been toying with for a while now. It's not finished. Please," he said softly "No ones ever heard it." He felt ridiculous, not unlike a child afraid to have their latest finger painting critiqued; but found relief when he heard the teacher laugh lightly.

"So," the brunet drawled "Perhaps I was wrong about you Mr. Taylor. Could it be that you're _not_ the pretentious twat I've perceived you to be? That in fact you are _modest_?" he said the word with mock horror.

Justin relaxed. An amused Brian was an exhilarating encounter. He had the distinct feeling that this alluring brunet's smiles were too far and few between. In truth, he himself hadn't many reasons to smile in nearly one hundred years.

The student arched an eyebrow and met Brian's eyes, "Oh no. You were correct. I _am_ absolutely a fucking talented twat." he shot the other man a look and a smirk challenging him to dispute his statement.

Brian relaxed. He was decidedly discovering that spending time with Justin Taylor wasn't entirely dreadful. _Of course_ that realization would pour down upon him when hadn't had an umbrella. He blinked and refocused on the task at hand. _'Get in. Get the book. Say goodnight. Leave.'_ Yes, he could do this.

Justin too, had apparently just recalled the reason for the Professor's visit. "So," the two men said in unison reaching for the nearly forgotten book.

Fingertips kissed. An instantaneous surge of desire began there and continued to flow through the length of their bodies. The lines of reality blurred. Both men shared the same waking dream.

_Ragged pants and sensuous moans twirled within a warm beam of light. Velvet touches found flesh. The scent of rose dominated the air as whispered names softly sang._

Long beyond the point of pondering these brief but intense visions, both blond and brunet found themselves standing but a whisper's width away from what they both craved.

Soft falling rain knocked on the glass of a nearby window, it's hypnotic sound erasing the world. Leaving only it's steady tapping and Brian's beating heart to fill the room.

Brian saw nothing but blue eyes and pleading lips.

Justin listened as the teacher's song played through his veins. His insides quivered. His outside shivered.

Anticipation grew like weeds on an abandoned house.

Within a moment too perfect to measure, desperate mouths crashed together.

The iciness of the blond's lips, left Brian to worry that the rain had lowered his temperature. Roughly grabbing the back of Justin' s neck, he pressed their bodies together. Wanting nothing more in that moment than to become the trembling man's sweater. To fully wrap his body within his own and provide an euphorically scorching heat.

Searching tongues soon found a passionate rhythm. Their slow dance rapidly gained momentum as they further explored one another. Justin's delicate fingers quickly found auburn locks. Twisting and tugging with enough strength to elicit a moan from Brian. A sound that echoed in the depth of Justin's throat. '_Fuck._' The action sent his scent wafting into him. '_He needed to taste him._'

The Professor's skilled tongue protruded further still. The blond's lust and hunger rose together. The burn in his throat intensified with the burning need of his now unyielding hard on.

Against his better judgement, he tilted his head to provide a more accessible angle to the heat of Brian's mouth. The teacher welcomed the change with a deepened kiss oozing with an exciting harshness. A newfound fierceness that spawned an animalistic hiss from the very depths of Justin. Though the student knew he had to pull away, it was proving to be impossible.

As the brunet's hands trailed every inch they could reach, his tongue was doing the same. The blond's mouth was intoxicating. Providing a delectable flavor the teacher had never before tasted. Uniquely sweet and uncharacteristically cool. He couldn't get enough. From the moment he'd first laid eyes on these perfect lips, he'd known kissing them would be good. No one had warned him that it would make him fucking delirious with it's mind-blowing intensity.

As his fingers caressed the student's back, he was surprised at the firmness. For a man of small stature, Justin's muscles were deliciously toned. The texture, coolness and alabaster tint sent Brian an image of an angel chiseled from stone.

Indeed feeling as if he were floating, Brian tightened his domineering hold on the gorgeous fallen angel he'd seemingly caught in midair.

Eventually finding the blond's ass, his hands ran along every scrumptious centimeter. The curves fitting Brian's grip with effortless perfection. He couldn't help but wonder if his cock too would merge with it so seamlessly.

Still fully clothed, the teacher had known this story was just beginning. However, his throbbing cock was urging him to skip ahead to the ending.

He was about to pull away only long enough to begin 'Operation Naked', when Justin broke the kiss first. Albeit most of his parts were adamantly picketing the move, his stupid mind was thankful. Justin was _still_ his student._ 'Hell, he'd only ever addressed him as _Professor_ for fuck's sake.'_ Disregarding his imagination's 'Detention' role play scenario, he sighed.

Too quickly both men unclasped their grasps. Mumbled appologies met the air.

"I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened." Brian said.

"No," Justin assured him softly, but found it achingly necessary to turn away as his canines were hurriedly unsheathing. '_He wasn't going to hurt this man. Not tonight. Not ever._'

He hadn't wished to end the most phenomenal kiss he'd ever had among a century's worth of lips; but he hadn't had a choice.

"It was my fault," he began again only to be aptly silenced by the teacher's protest.

"We just got a little caught up." Brian reasoned sensibly, picking up the novel. "No worries. I'll see you tomorrow Justin." '_Christ, it was _Mr. Taylor_ to him._'

Justin felt anger consume him. He had never hated this curse born upon him more than he did now. The feelings mercilessly attacking him were foreign and vicious. He'd desired the feel of the man inside of him as equally as he'd desired his blood.

The student worried that Brian now felt rejected or ashamed. But, he _had_ called him by his first name, which caused a plethora of new tingles to spiral through him.

He listened.

Lust was still present, though it was not to be out-shined by regret. '_This had nothing to do with him._' He wanted to scream. He wanted to reassure the taller man that he was perfect. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

Under no circumstance was he going risk bringing himself too close to that entrancing neck. Those wondrous eyes. That beating heart.

He knew with unbridled certainty that one taste would never be enough. One drop would merely tease the monster, eventually he would erase the life from dazzling hazel.

With more strength than he'd had, he turned back to meet those startling eyes once again. He attempted a smile. It was weak.

"No worries." he parroted "Goodnight Brian." he giggled unexpectedly at the glorious tempo that the brunet's song played upon hearing his name.

'_Christ. His name on _those_ lips._' had Brian's already leaking cock begging for all kinds of silly things, not least of which had included fucking this blond on the fifty thousand dollar grand piano. He instead nodded lamely and waved the book in the man's direction.

Silently, they approached the door and were thankfully rescued from a second farewell as they were met by two of his entering roommates.

With a small smile that held no meaning, Brian ducked into the hallway. Anxious to get home. Have a shower, a drink, a smoke, and jerk off. Not necessarily in that order. Some things just held a higher priority.

Once Brian had exited the dorm, the blond met the questioning faces of his roommates.

Daphne was wearing a mischievous grin and knowing gaze; while Ethan was trying his 'jealous boyfriend' face on for size. It hadn't fit.

As much as he hadn't wanted his Professor to leave, Justin was elated at Ethan's timing. After such an intense yearning, he'd needed to feed as soon as possible.

"Well, I see that maybe I'm not the only one whose had an _busy _night." Daphne leaned in an placed a chaste kiss on Justin's cheek, "Night handsome." she added before twirling off towards her room.

The instant her lips had met his flesh, Justin was hit hard by a wave of nausea. An unexpected, unexplained bout of vertigo assaulted him crudely. His mind hazed causing him to momentarily lose his balance. _'What the fuck was that?'_ he wondered through a disorienting cloud of confusion.

"Goodnight." he'd manged to whisper long after the dancer had already turned to leave. He brought a hand to his temple, as he tried desperately to theorize what had caused the sudden dizziness and pounding in his head.

Determinedly convincing himself it was just further proof that he was in need of a drink, he locked eyes with Ethan.

"Do you desire me to taste you?" he spoke slowly in a barely audible tone.

Hurriedly pulling his shirt to expose his slender throat, the violinist spoke "Yes. Taste me."

As gently as his rampant hunger would allow, Justin sank his teeth into the heat of Ethan's flesh. Feeling instant gratification as scarlet life found his throat. When he was finished, he met the musician's eyes once more and compelled him to forget that he'd fed.

Emerging from his trance, Ethan smiled and pulled the blond into a kiss he hadn't wanted. Though he had returned the action to humor the kid, Justin had found the entire exchange disturbing. It felt utterly and completely _wrong_. Breaking away from his roommate, realization struck. From tonight forward no other would dare to compare to a Kinney kiss.

"I need to go to bed." he told the brunet.

The fiddler traced his finger lightly along Justin's cheek,"Yeah you do look exhausted. You're practically the walking dead."

Outwardly Justin smiled at the irony in the other man's statement. Inwardly he smiled in anticipation of falling into a certain Music professor dream filled slumber.

On route to his room, he caught a flicker of movement in the small hall mirror. _'Could it be?' _he wondered suspiciously and slowly backed up to face the mystery. He peered into the reflective surface. No one peered back. _'Of course not.'_ he told himself with rolling eyes. His reflection had long ago vanished into nothingness.

Deciding that his tired eyes and still dizzy thoughts were merely playing tricks, he retired to his bedroom.

* * *

His plans to release his sexual build up had been put on hold the second Brian entered his apartment.

A familiar voice enveloped the darkness. A voice he hadn't heard in too damn long. A voice that, somehow both warmed his heart and ripped it from his chest altogether. Deb.

Switching on the lights, and gathering his mail from the floor, he listened to her continue to talk to his answering machine.

_"I know you're listening to me Kinney. You son of a bitch, (he heard her smile) Look, (her tone turned somber) you know why I'm calling. Tomorrow's always so hard on you. Vic and I just worry honey. I suppose you're not going to pick up. Well, (a pause) we miss you here, asshole. Call if you can. (a sigh) We fucking love you. (another pause) OK."_

His mind swam in thought as his eyes swam in unshed tears. He intended to allow the rest of himself to swim in pool of liquor.

Promptly preparing a shot of beam (or three), he closed his eyes. The following day was the anniversary. Marking eleven years since Michael's passing. Relieving hazel of it's prison, the brunet opened his eyes. Upon doing so, his gaze found his past. It sat untouched and uncovered where it had since the day Deb had first bought it for him.

She had hoped he'd start playing again. Her hope had been vastly misplaced. Until now.

He warily approached the piano as if it were something frightening. In honesty, it fucking terrified him. He hadn't wanted to touch it, yet he couldn't bear the thought of letting it go. He'd needed it, If only to remind him that life was grossly unpredictable and one cruel motherfucker.

Unsure as to whether it was the warmth of the alcohol or the coolness of Justin's kiss,the brunet felt confident. Stronger than he had in years.

With his mind alternating thoughts between Mikey and Justin, Brian did something that surprised even him.

In one swift motion he pulled the sheet from the forgotten instrument, whilst simultaneously removing (at least one) of the covers he'd placed over his own heart.

Unveiling his past. unveiling his_ pain._

He took a seat on the smooth wooden bench as his fingers instinctively took their rightful places. They were_ home. _

Bronze caressed ivory with effortless precision. Hardly noticing the tremor in his hand,the pianist from the past played in the present. Brian couldn't stop himself from envisioning Justin Taylor as his music filled the night for the first time in over a decade.

His lips tingled. The essence of tonight's kiss still lingered there. The blond's addictive taste still haunted him.

That kiss had ignited not only the passion in his loins, but the passion in his heart. Something he'd long accepted he'd never find again.

That kiss had been his muse. That kiss had been nothing at all really. That kiss had been everything.

Clearly feeling the effects of the liquor, Brian was thinking crazy. He was beginning to believe that he'd taste it always. For now and tonight, existing tomorrow and the rest of his life.


	6. Symphony

**Friday Night**

* * *

As the class drew to a close, Brian closed his eyes. This had been the longest three hours of his life.

He'd caught himself pausing mid-lesson just to stare at the blond in the back row. Every time their eyes had locked, the teacher lost the ability of speech. Not a helpful attribute for a lecturer. Thankfully he didn't think any of his students had noticed. Well, except for _him_. Brian had felt the heat of blue searing his bones with each passing second. The second half of class he had been forced to retreat to his desk,in effort to hide his overly obvious arousal.

As he listened to his class' departure, he pinched the bridge of his nose, when he'd heard it. The melody of heaven. Though the notes sounded vaguely familiar he'd been hard pressed to place it. He opened his eyes. They were met with the equally inquisitive eyes of Mr. Taylor.

The large classroom, empty now, save for the two of them seemed to close in around them. It felt as if the walls themselves were insistent on pushing these two together.

Brian felt his lips turn upwards, though he hadn't granted them permission to grin like a lovesick puppy.

"What's that you were just humming?" he asked the blond as he gathered his belongings.

Justin hadn't even realized he'd been making noise. Notes had always flowed easier than words.

"It's part of my Sonata." he said nonchalantly, trying to avoid further detail. He'd literally been working on the piece for several of Brian's lifetimes. The sense of failure pressed heavy upon him that in too many ages, he had never completed it. He knew something was missing, but had been unable to identify it's identity.

Stepping into the hall, Brian turned "Walk you home?" he asked almost shyly. Those fucking non existent butterflies began _not_ fluttering again.

"Actually, I thought I'd take a walk. It's beautiful tonight." Justin answered.

"Oh. OK." The Professor replied, mischance heavy. "Goodnight then." he smiled and turned.

Justin was damn near bouncing with fucking glee as he listened to the brunet's disappointment. No, not because he was a bastard, but because he knew how to fix it.

"Care to join me?" he called down the hall, ecstatic grin in place.

Brian stopped. Gulped. Turned. Walked. Approaching the blond, he couldn't stop his eyes from tracing the man's slender form. '_Damn straight I want to come...and come, and come some more._' his mind answered. Thankfully the words hadn't reached his lips.

"Sure. Well, if you don't mind." he answered aloud.

Justin nodded and smiled softly "The night awaits us Professor Kinney." the blond bowed, eliciting a chuckle and a head shake from the brunet. '_Christ this twat was adorable._'

Standing now in the courtyard, Justin was feverishly trying to read the brunet. All throughout class up until now, Brian sounded wounded. The blond had been eager to get the man alone, and with any hope get him to talk. Brian was so closed off. So much so that Justin guessed the man had secrets he'd kept from even himself.

Whether he'd outwardly displayed his emotions or not, the blond could always see them. Though true, the Professor had always had a somber aura, tonight was different. Something significant sat heavy on the brunet's shoulders. Even as he stood in the crowded promenade, Brian's heart sang a lonely song. Brian's eyes focused on a memory Justin couldn't see. He could tell the instant he'd met him, that the man didn't prefer to overshare.

"Are you alright?" he inquired in a voice so soft, it sent a shiver down Brian's spine.

The brunet ordered himself not to meet the student's eyes. For he had been too afraid of what Justin would see there. Also, he feared that once he welded with sapphire, he'd start talking about Mikey and get all emotional and shit. '_Don't meet his eyes._' he mentally repeated, then instinctively looked up and caught those fucking blue oceans anyway. He was beginning to get irritated at his blatantly disobedient body.

"Of course. I'm fine." he lied. Truth was Michael had shared every moment of today with him. Justin Taylor had also spent some quality time in Brian's thoughts.

Accepting the other man's answer of avoidance (for now), The blond decided not to push him. Nevertheless, Justin hated knowing that Brian was struggling internally. He needed to lift the brunet's spirits. With any luck, his Professor may actually even relax.

"Close your eyes." he instructed simply.

Brian stared blankly for several moments. He had been lost in thought when Justin had found him. "Uh, my eyes?"

"Yes. Those gorgeous orbs in the middle of your face. Close em'." the blond teased "And you call yourself an educator." he shook his head.

Usually Brian would have refused such a request. Closing his eyes meant letting someone else observe him. It meant relinquishing control. It meant trust.

Though for some reason,he gave in and allowed his eyelids to fall. A small knot of worry found his stomach, that may or may not have had to do with the fact that the blond had just said his eyes were gorgeous. This was beginning to feel a whole lot like everything Brian wasn't sure he'd wanted.

"Don't get frisky Taylor." Brian teased, eyes still closed.

Justin resisted the urge to trace his finger along the brunet's eyelashes. He'd been entranced by the way they gingerly met his face. He loved them merely for the fact that they protected the most exquisite eyes in existence.

"What do you hear?" Justin urged.

Eyes still closed, Brian raised an eyebrow, and a smirk found his lips.

Justin, more in awe than annoyed spoke again "I'm serious. I want you to listen and tell me what you hear."

Noting the seriousness of the blond's voice, Brian sighed and listened. "I hear New York. Cussing, yelling, honking, talking." he listed rapid fire.

"Anything else?" Justin asked.

"I'm not sure what you're wanting me to hear here Hollywood." he was puzzled.

"OK. You may open your eyes, and follow me please." he instructed.

'_No problem. Brian would follow that ass anywhere._'

In less than five minutes they found themselves on the rooftop of Justin's building. Brian had to admit the view was fucking breathtaking, though it paled in comparison to the pale vision beside him.

The city's skyline provided an elegant backdrop to the blond piece of art. "So what are we doing up here?" the Professor asked the masterpiece with genuine interest.

By way of answer the blond just smiled. _'No. he hadn't just smiled. He'd illuminated the world, or at least this city, or at the_ very least_ he'd illuminated Brian's ...er...something or other. Definitely not his heart.'_

Momentarily the 'City that never sleeps' stood still. Focused intently on Justin's smile, he froze. Time stopped. All else quickly faded from Brian's view, as Justin was the only thing worth seeing.

Though the dazzling lights dancing across the city, lessened the moon's glow, it hadn't mattered. This man's smile was truly the light of the night. Sunshine chasing the darkness away.

The damn thing was seemingly seeping from the blond's pores. The brunet had never seen anything so mesmerizing. Every feature the pale man wore was outshone; giving the appearance that he'd been poured from liquid gold.

He wanted to kiss that smile. So he did. A quick chaste kiss on the corner of flawless lips. Justin only smiled wider.

"Close your eyes." he instructed once more.

"This again Sunshine?" he rolled his eyes, but conceded and closed them once more.

_'Sunshine.' _Never before had a single word caused so many feelings in an equally massive amount of places. Inside, Justin was beaming brighter than his smile ever could.

He took Brian's word of endearment, gingerly wrapped it, and tucked it away in his heart for safe keeping. He would hold onto it always. It was as close as he'd ever come to having the sun return to his desolate darkness.

For a moment, the blond just stared at the brunet with awe and admiration. Shamelessly gawking, he'd wondered briefly _'If he stared hard enough would he be able to catch a glimpse of his soul?' _Something the vampire himself no longer believed he'd had.

He imagined Brian's soul to be extraordinary. Fierce yet gentle. Despite his tough exterior, Justin knew the truth. He'd repeatedly heard it in the man's song. Brian Kinney was as delicate as a house of cards. One whispered breath could be all it would take to destroy him.

"Listen. Are you listening?" Justin inquired.

Brian dramatically straightened his posture and playfully tapped his ears.

"Tell me what you hear." the blond instructed.

The brunet evoked his right to remain silent. Besides, he hadn't a clue what Justin was getting at. All he was hearing up here was the same obnoxious city he'd heard below.

*"Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness stirs and wakes imagination." the student half spoke, half sang almost too softly to hear. Brian heard him.

Behind closed doors, hazel smiled. The blond was singing lyrics to 'Music of the Night' and Brian couldn't help but note that he was doing so flawlessly. _'Was there anything this kid couldn't do?'_

"We often lose ourselves in the rush of everyday; causing us to miss out on the melody of life." Justin explained to a still very perplexed Brian.

"That's quite poetic sunshine." the teacher said in jest, eyes still closed.

"When that happens," Justin began "when it seems as though it's notes are lost forever, you can still hear it. If you know where to look." he approached the Professor and rested his head on the taller man's shoulder. He relished in it's warmth.

"There's a rhythm in everything. Sometimes all it takes is a different view, a new perspective for it to play." Slowly hovering above Brian's ear, Justin's cool whispered lyrics sent a deliciously icy shiver straight to his cock. *"Softly, deftly, music shall surround you. Hear it , feel it closing in around you."

The brunet was finally beginning to understand this poem of a man. *_'Listen to the music of the night' _the lyrics spoke to his insides. He took a slow deep breath, then for the first time in too long, truly _listened_.

A nearby rooftop fan wooshed a delicate tune. Door chimes and car horns danced along with a struggling street performer's guitar. The vibrant color changing fountain splashed and crashed in sync with the chatter and laughter twirling in the air.

There was indeed a symphony in the atmosphere. A chorus of life.

Something that at first Brian had deemed ridiculous was rapidly becoming his favorite song. He'd found himself seizing every note singing through the breeze.

He felt Justin's light caress on his arm. Opening his eyes, blue pools shimmered before him; into which he'd desperately wanted to dive. He was still wearing _that_ smile, unfair in it's beauty.

The Professor's stomach flipped in co-ordinance with his thumping heart.

He had never before done an activity so, so... the word 'Whimsical' came to mind. Which he'd quickly countered with 'Lesbionic'.

This blond was unlocking him with one too many fucking keys.

His soft touch, his gentle embrace, the song of his voice, that smile on his face.

Observing the locksmith now, he'd noticed him noticing something in the sky. Instinctively Brian too drew his gaze upwards.

Tonight's time together was beginning to feel a little like romance. However you don't outlive a century and not learn to read people. Justin knew that the mere mention of 'mush' would result in a closed off Kinney; which in turn would result in a loneliness in his own chest.

Justin's mind mingled with fleeting coherence. Listening to Brian's blood was causing a bought of mental paralysis. It was almost too much to bear. The Professor's heart was beating slowly, indicating for the first time since he'd first heard him, that the man was content. Satisfied with just being here. Here, with him.

A tiny trace of Justin's long forgotten happiness returned. Brian Kinney was quickly filling the vast void his soul had long ago become.

Looking at the sky, he frowned. Albeit, he'd never felt closer to heaven than he did in that moment, not a single star was visible.

"Pity we can't see the stars." Justin sighed almost longingly.

Hazel found blue. Brian couldn't relate, for he was currently looking directly into two luminescent stars. Blue eyes that shone brighter than any twinkle in the sky.

A spark of thought ignited a plan.

Wordlessly, he took the blond's fragile hand into his own; allowing no pause for contemplation of the intimate gesture.

"There's somewhere I'd like to take you." he informed the student without further explanation. As they made their way back down to the street, Brian was grateful he could not see his own face. He'd been certain the foolish grin currently holding his lips hostage, would ruin his image of himself.

Within minutes, Brian was ushering the blond into a taxi, excitedly anxious to bring Sunshine to the stars.

* * *

* indicates lyrics are from Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'Music of the Night' from 'Phantom of the Opera'-No copyright infringement intended, I just thought the words intertwined perfectly in this scene.


	7. Stars Align

Glittering diamonds peppered the night. A flawless view of the brilliant sky stretched overhead. It's visibility from Hayden's Planetarium on 81st and Broadway effortlessly trumped the real deal outside.

Brian had used one of the endless favors he'd acquired here in the city to gain after hours access. Reichen Cole, gorgeous security guard (though hopelessly straight) had become quite a good friend to Brian. Just last year he'd even written the man's younger sister a letter of recommendation.

Brian Kinney had a plethora of colleagues, fuck buddies and acquaintances. True friends, however were quite literally counted on one hand. Reichen, Theodore, Emmy Lou the dance instructor, and Ben, a Paranormal Psychology Professor he'd once fucked, but now only looked to for friendship. Ben had always reminded him of Mikey. He just had a feeling had Michael been alive, they would have been a perfect match.

'Michael' the truest of true friends he'd ever had. And now, there was Justin Taylor. The adorable blond currently sitting both beside him in the Planetarium, and taking a permanent seat in his thoughts. '_Is that what he wanted from this kid? Friendship?_' First and foremost his body craved _his_ body, a flutter of fear found him. At the thought that perhaps that wasn't all he'd wanted. '_Could he fuck the blond then let go?_' A sinking feeling pulled at his belly. '_No._' the answer was so obvious it hurt.

Brian knew it was borderline insanity to feel so drawn to someone in such a short time. But here he was, all kinds of goddamn drawn. '_Ugh._' his insides groaned.

With all of these foreign feelings screaming at him, he was going to need one hell of a translator.

He relaxed a little as he glanced now (for what very well could have been the millionth time) at the impeccable profile of the star gazer beside him. His cock instantly recognized (for what very well could have been the millionth time) the beauty of Justin Taylor.

Blue eyes glanced in his direction. Instant connection. Instant erection.

'_Christ. they weren't even touching and Brian could hardly stand it._' He worried logically that if they ever were to physically connect again, would he spontaneously combust? The heat in his groin and the fire in his eyes seemed to think so.

"Thank you for this. It's amazing Prof- Brian." Justin spoke through a smile that was a least (Brian guessed) a million fucking watts.

Brian just nodded and offered a weak grin. Gratitude made him uncomfortable. He'd always just done things because he'd wanted to. Never expecting reciprocation. The smile in Sunshine's eyes was thanks enough.

Justin's eyes sparkled with a shine that had long ago dimmed. Brian Kinney was steady polishing every surface of the blond. Never before had he felt a connection to any human. Vampires didn't form bonds, ridiculous relationships with mortals. They were to be fucked, fed on and fooled with. For Justin to feel such a strong desire to just be close to Brian, was unfathomable.

A creature of the shadows longing for human companionship was unequivocally the proverbial forbidden fruit. Indeed the two men were star gazing in a garden of Eden. Forbidden temptation and hidden sin blossomed around them, whilst vines of complication strangled the room.

Bringing his eyes from hazel and back towards the pseudo heavens above, Justin sighed. A make believe heaven, the only plausible option for a fairy tale monster such as he.

Instinctively, he'd longed to reach for the stars. Longed to reach Brian's beating heart. He'd longed further still for the brunet to reach and restart his own. Somehow though, he knew, Brian was not a reacher.

Blue graced the sky, resting on one of his favorites constellations. In over a century's worth of nights' skies, Justin had practically memorized every glimmer.

Feeling the Professor's eyes on him he pointed, leading Brian's gaze "That's Cygnus. Inside it houses one of my favorites. That one (he pointed) is Orpheus." his voice sterned and Brian smiled at the student's intent interest. "He was the son of Apollo and his muse Calliope. Orpheus was a fiercely talented musician. After losing his wife, Eurydice, he closed himself off." he heard Brian's song slow and he wished (not for the first time) he could read his thoughts.

Beside him, Brian's thoughts were focused on his own crippling loss. Justin continued, "After losing the love of his life, Orpheus fell back in love with music. He warded off the love of any other woman, instead setting on a voyage with his harp, Lyra." He shot a glance to Brian who seemed lost in thought. He went on. "On their journey, they were followed by flowers and songs in the breeze. One day they arrived upon a group of women wishing for love. When Orpheus refused them all for his love of Lyra they_ murdered _him."

Brian's heart played a dominant chord on the word. Justin wondered if that was a part of the brunet's sadness. '_Had he loved and lost?_' A sense of empathy found the blond's core. He wanted to wrap the teacher into a safe embrace. Regretting the reality of the actual danger of Justin's arms, he settled instead to grab the other man's hand.

With slowly shaking fingertips and paper thin resistance, Brian allowed their fingers to intertwine. The ice of Justin's skin evenly matched the shiver tickling his spine. Here he was, Brian fucking Kinney, holding hands. A simplistic gesture full of complicated emotion. '_Why was it that this subtle contact, burned stronger than any sex he'd ever had?_' He focused again on the blond's velvet voice.

"After his son's death, Apollo reached down and picked Orpheus and Lyra up and placed them into the sky." he pointed again. Brian's eyes found an exceedingly bright twinkle.

"It's a double star. Both Orpheus and Lyra are so close together, they're almost impossible to differentiate." '_Together forever._' Justin selfishly found himself wishing that Brian and he would one day belong to one another. '_No. he wasn't going to hurt him. Brian would remain unchanged. Perfect. Alive._'

Straining, the brunet could now make out two separate stars. One shone a glowing yellow, the other a brilliant blue. That fact, combined with Justin's tale had Brian feeling a kindred connection to the stars.

He too had suffered the loss of someone he'd loved more than life. He too had sought refuge in music. Healing himself one melodic note at a time. The yellow representing his own golden skin, and the blue sapphires, Justin's eyes. The undeniable closeness brewing between them, their feelings almost impossible to differentiate from the others'. Like now for instance, as Justin's stare seared Brian's soul he'd seemed to know exactly what he was feeling. Confused, content, and desperately craving Justin's taste.

Bringing his focus back to locked hands, Brian shifted nervously in his seat.

The heat surging through the Professor melted away the ice of Justin's flesh. Brian's fingers tingled. This seemingly delicate touch was in fact sizzling within his veins. He met blue eyes that were radiating static desire. The air was charged with an electric silence. Brian's voice tried to speak.

"Justin." he finally breathed. This time the name tasted strange in his mouth. Tinged with vulnerability and something he couldn't identify.

Silence morphed into moans and lustful kisses. The sounds of their dancing mouths amplified in the domed planetarium. Notes of frenzied want played fiercely through the imitation night.

Tilting his head, Justin's softly fluttering eyes caught sight of a shooting star. It's streaming course in direct accord with his surging need. Need to feel the other man inside of him. Both in the physical sense, and the desire to etch him into his bones.

He wanted all of Brian Kinney, forever bound with him. He was practically there already.

In his every thought, in his every dream, his every fantasy. Even now he could feel the man's essence crawling beneath his porcelain skin.

This kiss was disorienting to say the least. Sparks of lust shocked Justin's everything. As Brian's passion increased, so did his sweetening scent, and rapidly changing song. Positive emotions erased his blood's bitterness, and song's saddened notes. Justin had never been more grateful to have just fed a few hours before class. His primal craving though still present, had been significantly subdued.

The blond's throat ached, begging for a taste. '_No!_' he scolded himself forcefully. Damn it, he had _some_ will power. He wanted Brian to feel safe with him. More importantly he'd needed Brian to _be_ safe with him.

His marathon of thoughts reached the finish line as the brunet broke their delicious devouring session. The Professor's heavy pants elicited a smile of victory on Justin's lips. He listened now as the brunet's tune slowed, and emerged into something new. Something he hadn't yet heard the man play...trust.

Brian hadn't known the exact moment in which the impossible had happened. Nevertheless it had. He'd lain his armor down and approached Justin without caution.

He was fairly certain he'd actually felt his heart open_ ever so slightly_. Long forgotten trust peering through the freshly opened crack in his broken heart.

Though unsure as to what had triggered this, he was unwilling to further investigate the matter. Staring into striking sapphire, Mikey's memory invaded his mind. Before his mind or his heart could protest, his fucking mouth was pouring his pain with a gushing retelling and a flowing current of secrets he'd always tried to keep hidden.

"I lied." Brian heard his own voice declare softly. Justin stared, face free from emotion and waited. "Before," the teacher went on "when I said nothing was wrong. It wasn't true." Blue eyes softened and silently urged hazel to continue. One simple look filled to the brim with honesty and reassurance.

Brian instantly eased and for the first time in too long, talked about the night half of his heart stopped beating.

Behind every word his tongue released, another lain in wait. Rapidly leaving his lips until they became sentences. Then, too quickly for Brian's liking, those sentences had become fully, detailed, embarrassingly long paragraphs.

Though his mouth was betraying his wish to remain closed off, his fucking heart was doing something worse. The fucker was filling each word with feelings before they left his lips.

So, Brian Kinney 'Master emotion bottler' had officially uncorked the damn thing. Emotions spilled out, and Justin was the sponge absorbing them.

Everything Brian hadn't wanted to say, was exactly what came out. Every detail of Michael's death, of Michael's life, of Michael's love was now being shared with this blond.

Leaving his traitorous mouth and heart to keep talking, the Professor focused on Justin's face. '_He was nothing short of exquisite. Flawless._' The plethora of new found feelings churning his tummy forced him to look away.

A small shock startled his heart, he'd almost physically jumped. He silently cursed his eager to form tears, and sighed deeply. It was in that instant he'd realized that he hadn't talked this honestly, hadn't been completely himself with anyone before. Well, in truth he hadn't in eleven years. A fact that only succeeded in confusing the brunet further.

As he finished the details of Mikey's murder; his unshed tears blatantly disobeyed his cease and desist order. Memories rained down from hazel that were viewing the pains of the past.

Justin's swirling mind picked up speed. A tornado of worry viciously tore through his thoughts. Brian's story of loss resonated in the darkest caverns of Justin. The endless black holes in his memories. He had played in many cities under Brandon's spell. He had taken the lives of countless faceless strangers. '_Had one of those strangers been Brian's world?_'

A searing blade of terror stabbed his heart, exploding in heated regret. Sharp shards of remorse pierced every part of him. '_Was it possible? No!_' He couldn't allow himself to ponder this. Justin suddenly felt ill, dizzy, hollow. Eventually, he just felt numb.

As he listened to the melancholy melody in the man beside him, Justin's thoughts were relentless in their pursuit to destroy him.

Brian's words blurred together, the soft rasp of his voice grew ever distant. He watched those beautiful long fingers gingerly dance across the guitar pick around his neck. The physical prop in the memory playing in the teachers mind. He exuded so much love when he talked about Michael, Justin was almost delirious.

Justin wanted to cry, though he knew he couldn't. He wanted to hold Brian, though he knew he shouldn't.

Every emotion the Vampire had ever felt, morphed into something new. Something never before felt. Something too painful to name. '_Was it true? Had Justin himself been the composer of the brunet's sad song?_'

It was all too much to bear. The blond scanned his options, quickly deciding that he should avoid it all. At least for tonight. It would be in the Professor's best interest, for Justin to leave, to invest no more time or emotion in Brian Kinney. Though he knew that made the most sense, he also knew that distancing himself from this glorious human would be too dismal to fathom.

His near painful desire to be consumed by this man took precedent over all else. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to feel Brian's heated flesh buried within him. To allow both himself and the brunet to feel passion. To feel some satisfying pleasure before the world was pulled out from under them.

Brian had opened his heart and had never sounded more beautiful. Justin's hunger for Mr. Kinney's taste, was far overshadowed by his hunger for the man's lust. '_Yes. At least for tonight, the two of them was all there would be._' Leaving the past where it belonged, he'd make certain Brian's body and mind remained in the present.

Gently he stroked the bronzed man's jawline, and brought his eyes to his own. Justin was taken aback by the sincerity he'd found there. This man was perfection personified.

The blond's longing to be with him intensified, bringing him to near paralysis.

Tonight, the world was theirs. They would perform a duet for an audience of no one...and he knew exactly the stage on which to do it.

Silently, he helped Brian out of his seat, and rushed outside to hail a cab.


	8. Duet

The instant smooth smoke encased his lungs, Brian calmed. He exhaled the puff of his cigarette, the wispy cloud dissolving into the night.

He stood on the sidewalk trying not to stare at Justin. The blond was several feet away discussing something with the night guard of the Majestic Theater. Though Brian had to give the student credit for trying; he doubted even this blond's charm could gain such restricted access.

The very theater in which 'Phantom of the Opera' has played for years. Although he knew they'd undeniably be denied entry, he couldn't help the smile from gracing the corners of his lips.

The little shit was a hopeless romantic. Something that usually made Brian-fucking-Kinney _cringe_, was endearing when done by one Justin Taylor.

He focused his eyes on the cement beneath his feet. Nearly mesmerizing flecks shimmered from the city's constant lights, dancing specks of color animated the walk. Entranced, he'd been pulled from the show by_ that_ voice.

"All set." Justin announced cheerily.

Brian arched an eyebrow, "How did you manage that Sunshine?" he asked truely impressed, and a little proud.

Justin of course had compelled the watchman to give them full reign and complete privacy. He batted his eyelashes dramatically, blue sparkled. "It must be my eyes." he slurred seductively. Inwardly he grinned at his ironic wording.

Once formally invited, Justin gripped Brian's hands and escorted him into the theater.

Brian had been in this theater many times. This had been his first time however, when he'd not been one in a crowd. The dimensions of the space were highlighted by it's emptiness.

It was incredible.

Justin was already rushing to flip this switch and that one, to invite the dramatic lighting to join them on set. He too, activated several fog machines. Their soft glow swept the glistening black surface of the stage. On which stood a grand staircase, overly designed with delicate filigree.

A nearly hypnotic beam of light tickled the incredible chandelier that hovered above them.

Heavy red curtains draped the scene.

As Brian took in the display, he also took in the blond standing in the midst of it; who was now beginning to light several of the seemingly endless array of candles.

A sturdy wrought iron gate stood proudly in the background.

An abundance of long stemmed roses were drying on a small table to the right of the stage. Apparently left by an appreciative audience of the night's earlier performance. The strong scent of petals laced with tendrils of fog.

"Setting the mood." Justin breathed through a sexy smile, lighting an elaborate candelabra and moving towards his professor.

Brian gulped deeply and suddenly felt anxious. The vision of this man's phosphorescent flesh radiated in these lights. Both the literal spotlight and glow of the candles shone on Sunshine.

His eyes trailed the blond, toe to top. Not stopping there, they rested on the several golden angel statues framing the stage; professedly guarding the landscape. The brunet's own golden haired angel now stood before him.

Flickering flames licked his decadent jawline. Blue eyes shined like crystal.

Eyes steady locked, Justin leaned in close to Brian's face. He inhaled. The brunet's mouthwatering scent shocked the atmosphere. The paralyzing exhales of air he breathed were making Justin lightheaded.

Uncomfortably close (for both of them), Justin's words dusted Brian's lips.

"I want to play for you." he paused but remained on his tip toes parallel to the brunet's mouth. He lowered his whisper, "Something that I've never before shared. My sonata." He glanced down shyly.

'_Was he really going to do this? Play his composition for another's ears?_' For decades the melody had sung only for him. 'Y_es_.' he decided determinedly.

Already, he was approaching the awe inspiring white baby grand piano. It sat patiently in the orchestra at the foot of the stage.

Placing the candelabra on it's top, Justin took a seat. Brian slid beside him on the bench.

If ever asked, Justin would swear there were actual sparks. An electric buzz discovered his veins, whilst his fingers discovered the keys.

Watching those delicate porcelain hands slide across the keys, Brian almost groaned. His pants were becoming increasingly tight and his face was becoming increasingly flushed.

If Justin Taylor had been gorgeous before, here, now, he was _perfect_.

The complete combination. The tri-fecta for inducing orgasms within Brian Kinney.

A delicious ass for fucking, a succulent pout for sucking and the musical soul of the piano.

If he hadn't known better he'd have sworn the world was changing.

As Justin's captivating song swirled around him, the air seemed calmer. The world spun slower, life looked brighter...by the the light of that smile.

'_No_.' he forced that absurdity away.

Concluding that the preposterous thoughts had merely spawned from his love of the melody and extreme horniness, he closed his eyes. He allowed himself to ingest the notes.

Something tugged at his heart. A fierce pull towards...he didn't know. Though the blond had been humming it earlier, that was_ not_ what his insides were trying to tell him.

He hadn't known how he had known that. But, it was true.

The singing symphony resonated somewhere inside him._' Where? He hadn't a goddamn clue.'_

Subconsciously, his own fingers swept the air and played along. '_How had he known this?_' Justin had been adamant that no one had ever heard it.

He looked over at the composer.

His pale lids gently hid his wondrous eyes. The Professor curiously wondered what they were seeing.

Brian's cock twitched at the sight of the blond's tongue protruding from those fuckable lips. '_Holy Hell._' He longed to feel those lips around his now overly eager erection.

Closing his eyes once more, Brian drew in a deep breathe, held it for a moment, then released.

The awe-striking sonata continued to play. It also continued to frustrate the brunet with it's aching familiarity.

It's beauty was all consuming.

Too soon, it stopped.

Opening his eyes, he saw Justin's head bent forward. Fingers stilled. A pause of silence sounded loudly. More than a moment later, Justin spoke.

"That's all I have." his voice trailed off in what sounded to Brian like shame. '_How could he possibly be ashamed of such art?_'

Slowly, Brian used his index finger to guide the blond's face to his own.

"That was," he really wanted to shrug smugly. Say something like 'alright' or 'pretty good', but looking into waiting eyes, he couldn't bring himself to lie. "_Incredible_." he whispered with so much truth his voice broke.

'_There it was_' that adorable blush that he'd glimpsed the first day they'd met.

Feeling himself blush, Justin felt utterly exposed. Stripped bare to the bone.

He yearned to show this man his true self. The sincerity in his veins was comforting.

'_Was it possible that Brian Kinney could understand? That he would? Don't be ridiculous.' _he told himself.

Nevertheless, the man had genuinely enjoyed his sonata. Justin was riding a wave of delirium.

Sharing something _so_ private had caused his long lost light to flicker. Igniting a spark of his former self. When he hadn't been damned. When he hadn't been lost.

Staring into Brian's eyes, Justin examined them for a glimmer of said spark reflected there. Whether true or not, he'd convinced himself he'd seen it.

Now, as hazel seared searching blue, he swooned.

He silently thanked his unbeating heart and empty lungs. Had he been human, both would be working overtime.

Without hesitance and free of design, two mouths constructed a kiss. Building mind blowing trust atop crumbling reservations. It just felt _right_.

Brian was quickly deciding that the cool sweetness of Justin's mouth was his favorite flavor. It was diligent in it's pursuit to hook him. Extremely addictive nearly to a level of cruelty. An uninhabited craving he was sure he would never get enough of.

Twirling tongues tangoed together. Providing a delightful mixture of Justin's cool breath and Brian's heated persistence.

Frantic hands wandered aimlessly. Graciously embracing any inch of flesh they could find.

Brian's hands slipped determinedly underneath Justin's shirt. A quake of pleasure shook Justin's bones. He'd almost heard the rattle. He couldn't remember ever feeling anything as amazing as this...Brian's warm hands radiating want for his cold skin.

Regrettably, Brian disconnected only to remove Justin's shirt. The offending garment hiding the beautiful cream of his skin.

His zealous touch wrapped the blond's slender waist.

With heightened forcefulness, Justin felt himself being hoisted onto the piano. Clumsy bodies pressed heavy on the keys. Random notes touched the night; in direct discord with the flawless duet the men were playing.

A delectably rough, lust driven Brian, knocked the candelabra with his arm. Molten wax splashed his flesh. The momentary pain nothing in comparison to the pleasure he was feeling.

The brunet positioned his lean form atop the other man's body. Elongated limbs held Justin's sides almost protectively.

Kisses and emotions deepened.

The echo of a previous flash invaded both men's minds._ 'Warmth bore down on withering bodies. The smooth white surface caressing flesh. The distinguished scent of rose petals hung heavy in the air.'_

A canopy of bewilderment covered them.

No less confused than the times before, they pressed on. Accepting what appeared to be a sort of premonition without pause. It hadn't mattered what it meant. Their pressing parts were the only things holding significance.

_*Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. Trust me, touch me, savor each sensation.*_

The severe yearning in Justin's body assaulted him. He could feel himself start to surrender to the monster. '_No!_' he silently shouted directly to the beast within. With suspiciously fast reflexes, he grudgingly removed himself from the piano. Hoping Brian wouldn't ponder too much his speed, the blond relaxed. Feigning casualness, he spoke.

"Enough dress rehearsal Kinney. Get your ass to the stage before curtain call. Time to perform." he crooned, licking his lips.

"Yes Sir." The Professor responded providing a mock salute, all the while shedding his restricting clothing.

A trail of fabric led to the stage.

The instant feet met the surface, their kiss resumed. As deep and intense as before. Perhaps, more so.

Fully nude forms molded unbelievably close. Nothing but hitched breaths and muted thoughts between them.

Synchronized steps strode straight forward. Only halting when Brian's back met the iron gate, center stage.

Now it was Justin's turn for roughness. Thoughtlessly he slammed the bronzed body backwards. Brian's cock enjoyed this domineering side of the blond.

Justin stood staring into Brian's eyes. Pleading tension begged for more.

Wordlessly, Justin lowered his body to Brian's hips. His tongue taking several detours in the muscular dips of Brian's torso. He licked lightly the sensitive skin just below the brunet's belly button.

A gentle action that caused a captivating rush in Brian's blood flow.

Justin froze.

Letting the predatory instinct pass, his fingers crept their way over the tops of golden thighs, then inward. Brian gasped and involuntarily bucked a little.

"Your hands are cold." he spoke with only a hint of a whisper.

Beneath his fingertips, Brian's skin felt every bit as luscious as the velvet curtains hugging the stage.

Beneath his tongue, Brian's skin tasted more sinful than he'd even imagined.

The steady pulsating blood flowing through the brunet's cock tempted the monster within. He inhaled heavily, pulling Brian into a torturous (for both of them) suction. The tip tickled Justin's throat.

The monster roared. Salivated.

He began shaking to the core in anticipation of ingesting the other man. Though he would never taste Brian's blood on his tongue; Justin eagerly wanted everything else.

He pulled the visiting length back and forth into his mouth. He dizzied. Streaming warmth spilled forth.

Brian's essence began it's journey. First, to Justin's tongue, to his throat, to his tummy, to his cock. Shamelessly he'd swallowed every intoxicating drop. Euphorically disoriented, his mind screamed. _'He needed this man inside of him'._

_'He needed to be inside of him.'_ Brian told himself through trailing kisses on porcelain skin. A few inches of lips on flesh later and Brian surprised himself at his body's (record breaking) response to this blond. In what certainly was too soon to believe, the brunet was once again half erect.

The ghost of Justin's breath haunted the sensitive nape of the Professor's neck.

The whispered kiss easily brought Brian to fully aroused readiness. He felt Justin pull away.

Protesting the other's movements, Brian's whole body seemed to groan. Shooting a glance sideways, he watched the blond search his discarded clothing. Exceedingly quick yet somehow not fast enough, he returned to Brian's beckoning body. Excitement waltzed on the surface of his skin as he felt slender fingers working the condom onto him.

Gliding hands skimmed the base of Justin's spine to his tempting ass. Anxious fingers found ivory flesh as easily as they'd always explored ivory keys.

Tonight they were on a mission to conduct an Orchestra of Taylor's moans and breaths.

A throaty rasp. A whimper of pleasure. '_Mission accomplished_.'

Inside of an instant, he entered the most inviting ass in existence. Justin's instantly tightening muscles gripped Brian with merciless vigor.

Never before had the teacher felt so connected to someone. Their bodies fit together with unbelievable ease.

An ardorous cyclone blew through the theater. Strong winds of ecstasy sweeping away all inhibitions. A thick cloud of heavy lust passed overhead, drops of desire rained down.

Synthetic fog streamed steady. A rolling haze graced the stage. Imposter clouds bringing the heavens closer to earth and a dreamlike air to reality.

Merciless moans mingled in the mist.

Justin's fingers found wrought iron. He wrapped them around the metal and tightened his grip. He'd had a feeling he'd need the added support to keep himself from thrashing in pleasure.

He'd been right.

As Brian urged himself impossibly further into him, the blond's body kissed the gate.

The gateway to heaven.

The gateway to hell...

and everything in between.

Justin knew what he was doing was dangerous. He was terrified that he could lose control in an instant. That the blood thirsty beast sharing his body would drink the beat from Brian's heart.

His conscience was struggling to dominate his hunger for blood. Already, he'd maneuvered his movements to ensure he remained facing away from Brian's eyes. His predatory instincts could overpower him effortlessly. His unpredictable reflexes always posed a threat. Even more so now as the brunet explored the depths of him.

Having fed from Ethan before class was helping squelch his hunger. It had also been the reason for his effortless erotic behavior. Being full of liquid life allowed vampires to mimic most human activities. Blushing, fucking, even crying. Though all actions powered by blood risked a reddened tint to bodily fluid. Which is why he couldn't allow the man to view his crimson climax or his unshed tears.

Tears of all variety collided together. Hunger. Lust. Shame. Regret. Happiness.

There it was again, his conscience. It began tossing out words like '_stupid_' and '_wreckless_'. However, as Brian's cock plundered deeper, Justin told the intrusive voice to '_Fuck off_'.

Waltzing bodies performed together. Dancing in the spotlight, a fluidity of in sync twirls.

Cries of passion sang free. Flawlessly harmonious. Soprano and alto blending beautifully.

Both men felt themselves melting into the other. Justin was grateful for the heated stage lights, providing an unnatural warmth to his icy flesh. Brian's rapidly rising body temperature easily began to thaw the vampire's frozen soul.

Trembling thoughts found trembling lips.

They paused.

There _were_ no words to accurately express any of the things currently confusing Justin. Brian Kinney was causing his mind to go into overdrive.

A myriad of impossible wishes and hopeless desires were driving him slowly into madness.

Though tonight Justin could have him, he couldn't keep him.

If a broken heart could break, it _did._

The agony of Brian's melody was breathtaking now. The blond was loathed to let it return to it's heartbreaking notes...but he had to.

Blue eyes closed. He drew Brian's every feature on the canvas of his imagination. Fervently struggling to capture the waking dream forever. Before this dream returned to the nightmare that was reality.

With increasing thrusts, the brunet brought his long arms to fully encircle Justin's pale chest.

Brian Kinney was doing his best to fill Justin physically. He was unaware as to the vast void of the blond's heart he was pouring into as well. A heart that had sworn off love so long ago.

Justin didn't know what the flood of feelings meant. Nevertheless it couldn't matter. After tonight he could no longer be in the Professor's life. Never would he hurt him.

Justin recalled the look in Brian's eyes when he'd talked about his best friend. The rush of his song, the pain in his voice. He shook his head, sending the mental sight away.

He must remain in the now. He had to keep Brian blissfully unaware of the truth.

A truth that was growing more excruciatingly obvious by the second. Every passing moment that Brian's lust increased, that his pulse quickened, that his heart healed, that his song crescendoed, that his scent intensified.

Time ticked in slow motion.

Justin willed himself to focus only on the sexual sensations surging through him. There would be time for worry and wonder...tomorrow.

Simultaneously, he tightly clenched his eyes, his jaw, his grip on iron bars and the muscles surrounding Brian's cock. He felt himself prepare to come.

A sliver of ecstasy sliced the night.

Behind him, Brian's _everything_ sped up.

Slight tremors accompanied the indulgent ribbons being released from both human and vampire.

Involuntarily, Justin's fangs unsheathed when the orgasm played through the brunet's heart. The octaves were fiercely sharp and gratifyingly torturous.

He bit his lip. Hard. Quickly he licked away any trace of blood.

"Justin...God." Brian breathed, letting his weight collapse onto the blond.

Glancing up, he caught sight of the bronzed angels surrounding the stage. Still unsure as to the existence of God; he was beginning to believe in heaven. In fact, he'd been fairly certain he'd just been there.

Removing himself slowly from the the 'Holy Land', his racing breath followed his heart to a slowing pace.

Exhausted in the best way imaginable, Brian lowered himself to the stage. It's cool surface felt amazing on his overheated skin.

The blond looked down at him. The spotlight danced glimmers of wanton satisfaction on his golden locks.

Brian's breath refused to emit, as he discovered that this man was growing more gorgeous every time he looked at him. Soon, the Professor was convinced his extraordinary beauty would be too excruciating to view.

Softly, gracefully, Justin brought himself to Brian's side. His head effortlessly found the warmth of the other man's bare chest.

Just. Over. His. Heart.

His glorious fucking heart that was making the blond profoundly crazed. A natural high like no other.

Brian lain listening to his own ragged breath, his thumping heart and blissful silence.

Justin lain listening to Brian's ragged breath, Brian's thumping heart and silently sang along to the most earth shattering symphony he'd ever heard.

He relished in every chord, for there would be no encore performance of tonight's duet.

Although his own heart had long ago ceased to beat, he'd never felt more alive.

Brian's own heart further healed. Finally willing to embrace an emotion on the other side of remorse.

Side by side two hearts were slowly coming back to life.

Outside, the world moved forward.

Inside the Majestic theater on 247 west...Time. Stood. Still.


	9. Autumn Rose

The newly discovered lovers left the theater in comfortable silence. The crisp night's air brushed their flesh as they walked down Broadway euphorically wordless.

Now, as they approached the west side of Columbus Circle, their feet guided them into Central Park. Though they hadn't discussed prolonging the night with a midnight stroll, neither voice objected.

Solely Brian's body had led him while his head replayed the duet he'd just preformed with this blond. The memory of his flesh still lingered on his mind. On his fingertips. On his cock. On his heart. '_What the hell was that about?_'

He could say with certainty that he had never before invested an after thought on any fuck. '_Yes. Without question, Justin Taylor was different._' In more ways than the Professor cared to acknowledge.

Asinine words like _'special'_ and ludicrous phrases similar to _'the one_' tried to swim to the surface of his heart. Promptly, Brian drowned the bastards in a pool of logical reasoning.

He had wanted that sweet ass from the moment he'd met the man. The forbidden temptation of a tryst with a student enticed him. Then again, anything considered to be 'taboo' had always multiplied it's irresistibility for the brunet. The same was true for Justin Taylor. Hell, he'd held off on fucking him for three days. Three _excruciatingly long_ days. By Kinney standards, that had been a delay of monumental proportions.

Usually when Brian wanted a man...he simply _had_ him. A pesky part poking around in his insides (surely not his heart) had been clear that Justin couldn't be a one night deal.

Already, his libido was in rare form, all but begging to return to heaven right this fucking second.

In his mind he was slowly convincing himself that this was it for him and his student. In his mind he swore that he wouldn't fuck him again. In his mind he wasn't feeling feelings, he swore he'd never feel.

In his heart (that rouge son of a bitch) he fucking felt those fucking feelings. He hated the parts of himself that embraced these new emotions. Other parts had preferred his heart in pieces; had grown fond of not caring. Looking over at his night companion, his heart jumped. Justin Taylor was rapidly putting his heart's shattered pieces back together.

Uncomfortable with his own thoughts, Brian blinked once. Then again. Justifiably paranoid that his eyes would betray him, he focused them on the sky.

Immediately he noticed it looked different. In just a few hours he'd found a new appreciation for the world around him. Now that he'd viewed it from beautiful blue eyes.

Moonlight bounced from tree to tree. Seemingly following the two men as they walked. The evening's earlier light rain shower providing thousands of damp backdrops. Droplets of moisture caught the moon. The season's changing foliage brilliantly glistened with amber, garnet, ruby, and topaz. Though none were as precious as the sapphires beside him.

On it's own volition, Brian's head turned towards the blond once more. His theory still held true, he had never looked more gorgeous. The sweet distant music of the city mingled with a slowly setting autumn fog.

Feeling Brian's gaze on him, Justin's stomach tied itself into a knot of confusion.

The midnight moon caught the gold flecks of those now midnight irises. The man's eyes were nothing short of fascinating. Each time Justin met them, he was greeted with a different color. At the moment they were darker than any previous shade, and they contained a hidden twinkle underneath their surface. Not unlike the black night sky and it's stars dancing behind the city's smog. Right now, that secret sparkle was making the blond wish like hell that Brian would stop looking at him like that.

Leaving him alone after tonight was going to be hard enough; adding lust filled fuel to an already burning need could only result in everything. turning. to. ash.

Icy cold shivers still pulsated through his already cold body. Being with Brian had been something so intense, that part of Justin was still back on that stage. He'd thought he would've been able to handle the closeness. He had, though just barely.

As the night progressed, Brian's song had became increasingly beautiful. This was one of the several reasons that Justin had to end this tonight. With deep regret he'd have to let the curtain close on only act one.

He knew he himself was developing feelings he'd sworn off for the better part of a century. Worse yet, he knew that Brian's emotions were equally deepening; and _that,_ he just couldn't allow.

As Brian Kinney further fell for him, the more tempting he'd become. Excruciatingly enticing in both sound and scent. Nothing seasoned one's blood like love.

'_Yes. he'd have to make certain Brian couldn't fall in love with him._' Though not only for the inviting song or intoxicating scent that would constantly taunt the monster. But also, because Justin knew he did not deserve this amazing man's heart.

'_How could he? Hell, most likely the blond himself had murdered the man's best friend._' The mere thought made the vampire ill. Sick to his stomach. Sick to the very depths of his long forgotten soul.

Justin knew that eventually his conscience would force him to confront Michael's tragedy. Inevitably, Brian would come to know the true monster he was; and in turn would inevitably grow to hate him. A sharp pang assaulted his insides at the mere thought of the horror the brunet's song would become when all was revealed.

It wasn't fair to Brian, for Justin to allow him to get emotionally invested in someone that is certain to crush his already damaged heart into a devastating dust.

He'd known from minute one that he was never going to compel Brian. A decision he was currently regretting. If only he could just make the human forget tonight. Forget their bonding. Forget the ease in which he'd finally opened up to Justin. Forget the pain he'd played at the retelling. Forget their mind blowing fuck. Forget their bodies fitting so perfectly.

Perhaps he'd just return to class tomorrow, whilst Brian remained blissfully in the dark. '_No. that would be too selfish and cruel._' He couldn't bear the thought of erasing the man's memories of this unforgettable night. A night Justin himself was sure to remember forever.

Tonight would always replay their tantalizing sex scene. Would always replay the song in Brian's heart as it sounded tonight. An eternal refrain of their beautiful duet.

He caught those magnificent eyes and held them tightly with his own. It was an entirely foreign occurrence, being with someone he wouldn't compel to tell him his thoughts. Oh, how he wondered about the thoughts brewing in that Adonis' body.

Crossing a stone bridge, Justin took in the large trees on both sides. The beautiful rose vines wrapping the trellis of the bridge like ribbons. He was grateful the flowers were still in bloom. Having not yet been extinguished by the first frost of winter.

The morphing fall leaves seemed to mock him. Their colors turning in sync with the season. In sync with the world. Whilst the vampire himself would forever remain unchanged...On the outside at least. Inside, everything was undergoing intense renovations.

Leaning over the side of the bridge, the pond glimmered in the night. Almost too brief to notice Justin's blue eyes stared back at him. '_A flicker of his reflection?_' The revelation both terrified and saddened him. '_This was worse than he'd even thought. Was he already in too deep to emerge?_' Refusing to ponder the probability further, Justin cleared his throat. He turned to see Brian watching him in wonder.

"What's got Sunshine in the clouds?" he asked in jest "You've been somewhere else. Am I that boring of company?" he slid his tongue to his cheek and smirked. That crooked grin that reiterated that relentless full body shiver.

Justin returned the grin with one of his own. He wrapped his arms around the brunet's waist and brought their bodies together. He looked up through golden lashes, "There's no one else I'd rather be with tonight." he confirmed truthfully with a smile that shimmied it's way through all of Brian.

When the brunet brought his own arms around Justin, the blond wished he could remain in the embrace always. Here in the warmth of the Professor's arms, he felt the world disappear. Reality seemed to melt away like sugar in the rain. With his ear pressed to Brian's chest there was only them; existing purely for one another by the light of the moon.

Feeling the beat beneath the man's chest, Justin allowed himself to pretend that all was perfect. For a fleeting moment he allowed himself to pretend to be alive. Sharing Brian's heartbeat as his own.

Without looking upwards, Justin's soft fingers lightly traced Brian's jawline. That strong jaw that somehow still managed to be _so _delicate.

Brian pressed his face against the bond's caressing fingers. If he could've pressed hard enough to merge their flesh, he would have.

The student trailed his touch to Brian's collarbone, he felt the brunet's pulse abruptly attempt to race the speed of light. A brisk breeze blew providing both men with an excuse for their slightly trembling forms.

Finally, Justin's fingertips found the guitar pick resting on Brian's chest. A symbol of the past that was preventing their future together.

Briefly Brian tensed but soon relaxed. Meeting blue eyes, he sighed, silently he scolded the strands of blond hair holding blue hostage. He smiled almost shyly as he gingerly swept the golden silk from Justin's face. '_Christ those fucking feelings were acting up again._'

Every passing second the Professor's heart pumped faster, he'd half expected it to literally beat through his body. Escaping his chest into the autumn evening. Free to express whatever the hell it wanted, no longer connected to his brain.

He wanted, _really fucking wanted_ to kiss Sunshine's lips. He didn't.

Brian Kinney had never been a man of willpower or self restraint. He knew another kiss would lead to another fuck. Which would inevitably lead to more of those insufferable emotions. He dropped his gaze, hoping Justin wouldn't pick it up again.

His eyes fell with his fingers, the latter halting on the golden locket on this golden boy. "What's this?" was the only lame sentence his tongue untied.

The blond seemed to hesitate a little before answering. A ridiculous thought attacked Brian quickly, '_Was it a gift from an ex-lover? Had he been better than him?_'

Not as soon as he'd have liked, the brunet disregarded the worry.

_'Who was he to give a shit about this blond's previous (or hell, even his current) relationships? He'd fucked him, therefore he was done with the man, Right? _Right.'

"It was my Mother's." Justin answered softly, sadly, in a shimmer of a whisper that made Brian ache a little.

Justin curled the metal pendant into his palm. The only strand holding him to humanity. Though here, now, it would appear that the strongest strand was tied directly to Brian Kinney and the feelings the man evoked.

Feelings that were currently pouring from the blond. Gushing from him with such relentless force, Justin was genuinely surprised they weren't splashing onto Brian's face. A spray of secrets and sentiments gracing the teacher with a mist of emotional moisture.

His mother had always told him that there was nothing truer than love. Justin had thought his feelings for Brandon was proof of that. Of course that had only lasted as long as the man's facade. Once his creator's deceit had been revealed; Justin learned that there was nothing truer than liars.

Yet now, here stood Brian Kinney. A walking contradiction of all of the vampire's previous beliefs. What he was feeling for the brunet by far surpassed anything he'd ever felt before. It was strong, heavy, and ruthless in it's intensity. It made the blond physically ache. Though it was with a delicious pain he was sure he'd never wanted to cure. '_Stop it_.' he told himself. None of this was right.

As the warmth of Brian's embrace caressed him he sighed heavily, his blue eyes focused on the roses beside them. His inhuman strength allowed him to remove a deep red blossom from the vine with ease.

Saying nothing with his words, but speaking volumes with his smile; Justin placed the cut stem through the button hole of Brian's coat.

The brunet rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. Justin guessed in effort to portray just how cheesy a cliche' he thought the action was. Brian surely wasn't one to be wooed by moonlight with roses and giggly grins.

Justin's aforementioned grin only broadened as he listened. Though the Professor's exterior may have been protesting romance, internally, the man was enjoying every fucking bit of it.

As they descended the bridge and headed towards the exit, a chime rang free. A whimsical melody sang through the night. The source had been the park's Del Cote' Musical Clock.

"Uh-Oh." he heard Brian say in a serious tone. Justin froze. "The stroke of twelve. We better get you home Sunshine before you turn into a pumpkin." Justin relaxed. Brian smirked. "The Ball's over Cinderella." he said delivering a playful smack to Justin's ass. The blond belle rolled his eyes, shook his head, and grabbed the other man's hands.

As they settled into comfortable silence once again, Justin's mind had wandered to the tale of Cinderella that his sister had once loved. Albeit, he was in no danger of transforming into autumn vegetation, the Ball was indeed over for him. As far as fairy tales went Justin was fairly certain he had never heard the one about Prince Charming and The Vampire. This fantasy night would only go on to live happily never after.

Approaching Justin's building, both men were surprised to find their hands still interlocked. Brian wasn't worried about this public display of affection. Nor was he worried about sending the wrong message to the blond. Brian Kinney always did whatever-the-fuck he wanted. Right now he wanted to remain in constant contact with Justin's flawless porcelain skin.

Knowing full well that he would never say so, he allowed his hand to speak on his behalf.

Tonight had been incredible. Parts of himself he had sworn were laid to rest had been resurrected. Returned to life by the miracle named Justin Taylor.

Noting the night was already spilling into morning, Brian's excitement grew. Already missing the boy infront of him, he calmed the ache of absence with the promise of reuniting soon. In a few hours they would meet at the Rose Museum.

The mere thought of spending more time with the student caused Brian's body to burn. His mind sent him an image of Justin in the daylight. He could only imagine the vision sunlight on Sunshine would create.

Reaching the front of Justin's building, they paused. Unexpectedly Brian yawned. "Guess you really wore me out." he smiled through mischievous lips that Justin yearned to taste again.

'_Christ. Brian needed to go.' _With every passing second Justin grew closer to inviting the man inside. Into his bed. Into his body. Into his world. With phenomenal will, he resisted.

The brunet's obvious exhaustion had been a blessing in disguise for both of them.

Justin knew if he made love with Brian again he couldn't let him go.

Brian knew if he fucked Justin again he wouldn't want to leave.

"Well I guess we should call it a night." Justin fumbled nervously, silently willing the man to just go already.

"Yeah, we'll need our beauty rest for the field trip tomorrow," (he tapped his watched) "_today_."

'_Shit, Justin had already forgotten about the museum venture._' Days ago, '_Christ was that all it had been?_' he hadn't intended to go. He also hadn't intended to need an excuse for his absence at the archives. Somehow, he doubted 'I am unable to attend because I'm a bloodsucker who's skin painfully sears in the sun' would suffice.

Abruptly deciding neither to confirm or deny, '_Why ruin this perfect night?_' the Vampire simply nodded.

Readying his body to bolt to the door, Justin's easy out was halted by Brian's own body. Suddenly the Professor was too damn close, too damn soon.

Hunger surged to his throat and his groin as the brisk breeze carried his scent.

Justin's mind pleaded with the teacher '_Don't. Don't steal a Kiss._' However, before his lips could mirror the plea, Justin felt Brian's lips encase his own.

The warm moisture of his tongue had Justin believing that his bones had all together vanished. He struggled to remain upright.

With the excruciating realization that this would be his last Kinney kiss; he met the man's mouth with willful aggression.

Licks and nips. Swirls and twirls.

Feverishly, Justin tried to convey the kiss of a million nights in this one singular lip lock.

Three minutes or a lifetime later, they broke apart.

Two bodies screamed in 'abandonment'. Both displaying swollen lips and sparkling eyes they stood. Staring. Eyes searching for something they couldn't describe.

There was so much to say.

No words were spoken.

With a somewhat timid smile, an awkward shift, Brian turned and left. Relishing in his newly awakened happiness with every step.

Watching Brian's retreating body Justin felt sick. He couldn't believe how utterly fucked up his life was. Even more so he couldn't believe that he was always surprised by this observation. He had been meant to die ages ago, and right now he had never wished harder for things to have gone in that direction.

Entering his building he thought of Brian's eyes, that hypnotic hazel that had almost made him feel alive again. Tonight, telling those eyes goodbye, he'd just died again.

The nausea stirred stronger.

He heard the whispered memory of his Mother's voice. '_When you find true love Justin, do whatever it takes to hold onto it. Never let it go_.'

As the brunet's form grew further away, Justin weakened. He was witnessing the man walking out of his life. Subsequently, he was watching the man walk out of his heart with a rough slamming of it's door.

Justin's whole body shuddered from the vibrating quake. This was a vision he could not take. This was a mistake he would not make.

Rapidly his entire existence funneled to this small piece of earth on which he stood, at this singular second, in a lifetime of endless moments. Here, now, he made a decision ill advised or other wise. '_He wasn't going to leave Brian Kinney. Whatever the cost, he'd readily pay it ten times over_.'

He'd have thought lifting the crushing weight of this situation would have calmed him. Instead, as the elevator carried Justin to the twelfth floor, his nausea only worsened. A throbbing pain found his head. In sync with the elevator doors, his body opened. Revealing a memory.

An echoed discomfort from the other night when he'd hugged Daphne. '_Yes, this felt the same. What was it_?'

Pressure built as he approached his door, with trembling hands he retrieved his keys. A blinding light accompanied a burning pierce, another wave of nausea broke. For a moment, the blond was unsure if he was going to throw up or pass out, or both. The pounding in his skull intensified, as a high pitched sound assaulted his ears.

Finally working the door open, he stepped inside in a crippling slouch.

Something between a shriek and a whisper fell from his lips and greeted the air.

A now nearly completely dis-coherent blond felt soft hands grip his arms. "Justin? Justin." Daphne's panicked voice was garbled in the distance. "Are you OK?"

"Here, help me get him to the couch." she instructed Ethan. '_No, not Ethan._'

"Justin? This is my friend, not exactly how I had planned to introduce you..." Daphne always rambled when she was nervous.

As he was about to accept the other set of offered hands, Justin stopped.

Snakes of ice coiled around his heart.

"Hello Justin." a papery whisper spoke. A hauntingly familiar voice he hadn't heard in seven years. One he knew too well. One he could not trust.

His pain peaked to a state of paralysis.

Frozen, he locked eyes with those of his creator. Garnet tears painted the surface of his eyes.

A fleeting vision of Brian kissed his thoughts before he collapsed onto the floor.

Quickly he was engulfed by a darkness as black as Brandon's heart.

* * *

Several blocks away a very elated Brian Kinney entered his apartment.

He placed his coat and keys on the counter. He placed a loving (and to her, an incredibly surprising) call to Debbie who was working the night shift at the Diner.

He placed the rose from his lapel into a heavy water filled scotch glass on his beside table.

He placed himself into the comfort of his duvet.

Still wearing the smile that Sunshine had gifted him, Brian drifted into a peaceful darkness.


	10. Absence

**Saturday Morning-Carnegie Rose Museum**

* * *

Reflected light danced on the glass surface of the hanging frames. The sunlight waltzed through the tall windows of the Rose Museum in fractured beams. Brian sighed and glanced at his watch, one O' clock. Thankful that this field trip was nearing an end, he leaned against the nearest wall.

As he went to close them, his eyes caught sight of the enigmatic blond he'd been thinking about all day. _'Who was he kidding, he'd been thinking about Justin Taylor every second since he'd met the man.'_ He looked now not at the prodigy himself, but at a photograph. '_Here? In the Historical Archives?_' Genuinely confused, he pushed off from the wall and approached the intriguing snapshot.

It hung proudly on the wall amidst numerous portraits of Carnegie Hall's history. Though the picture was black and white, Brian could almost see the unique blue of the man's eyes. He stood in a crowd of onlookers at construction of some sort. Unconsciously, his fingers traced the flawless features forever captured in print. He read the accompanying plaque. 'Carnegie Hall corner stone ceremony, 1890.'

In search of logic, the Professor's mind spun for a few seconds. He scoffed at himself for his initial panic. Of course this wasn't Justin. Not surprisingly, the blond had apparently come from a long line of musical descendants. Hell, Brian had been forced to do a double take once at a photo of his own Great Grandfather. Silently, he thanked this Taylor of the past for having such breathtaking genes. Seeing this blond, hollowed him even further. Justin had not shown up this morning. In fact, Brian hadn't heard from him since their farewell last night. '_Oh that fucking glorious night_.'

The brunet felt embarrassed by his own feelings. Ridiculously, he worried that outsiders could read the clichéd giddiness brewing within him. Something about Justin Taylor had reanimated emotions he'd buried with Mikey. _'Yes, Justin's something. Justin's everything.'_ Involuntarily, Brian groaned. Loudly. Excluding the weird look given by a grey headed woman, no one seemed bothered.

Certainly this kid's everything was messing with his sanity. Undeniably, in just four days time, he'd stolen a piece of Kinney's heart and his peace of mind...and he fucking hated it. He also hated the disappointment ravishing his insides at the student's absence.

"Professor Kinney, the archives will be closing in fifteen." Carla, the curator informed him. He nodded, relayed the message to his students, and tried fiercely to think of nothing of all. Primarily _nothing_ with the bluest eyes in the goddamn world.

Still early afternoon, Brian decided to work a little on the 'Phantom' workshop promotions. He needed to stop by his office to gather his resources before attempting the initial brochure or poster designs. Resources that included a first print edition book belonging to the man currently living in Brian's thoughts. He'd hoped working would keep him busy enough to evict his brain's blond tenant.

In honesty, he knew that he was seriously fucking fucked already. Undeniably at the silly stage of 'everything reminds me of him'. '_Ugh._' Embarrassment consumed him. Again. He, Brian Kinney, had a crush. _'Maybe more. Definitely more.'_ Here it was...the moment he became a high school girl. He quickened his pace towards the building. Hopelessly grateful he wasn't yet at his desk. Having been more than convinced, that right about now he'd begin scribbling Justin Taylor in disgustingly adorable hearts.

Pulling him from his thoughts, was the startled screams and churning murmurs of the students walking ahead of him. Focusing, his eyes swept frantically over the scene before him.

A thick cloud of disbelief encased him. It's frightening fog attempting to suffocate him.

He took in the sight in fragments, admittedly too afraid to view the scene in it's entirety. Crime scene tape...detective...the coroner...cadaver dogs sniffing feverishly...crying students...flashing cameras...and finally, unable to prolong it any further, Brian's eyes rested on the sheet; and the obvious victim that lain beneath it.

Obscure patterns of blood sullied the bleached otherwise spotless white. A sinking sickness sailed through him. A heady dizziness soon followed. He stumbled forward, surprisingly remaining upright. With each quavering step, the tide of panic rose within; until a monsoon of memories threatened to wash out the moment. Instantly (and without consent) his mind traveled to both places, he hadn't wanted to go.

First, back to the night of Michael's murder.

Then towards a gut wrenching explanation for Justin's absence.

Too soon to calculate, 'more than a crush' morphed into intense need, and vicious heartache.

'_No. that's not Justin under there._' he forcefully told himself. Albeit his churning stomach and dying heart wanted further confirmation. Willing his frozen feet to unthaw from the spot where he'd stalled; Brian forced himself to approach the nearest officer. He attempted to bypass the small crowd gathered around the detective, only to be caught by the sleeve of his coat.

It was Theodore.

"They're not allowing entry to our Hall or the Rose Building." he explained shaking his head. "It's gruesome." he added somberly.

Brian decided that Professor Schmidt was more attractive when he smiled. The frown he wore only highlighted the ugliness of the scene.

"What happened? When?" he gulped, then the one question he cared about, "Who?" impatient his eyes insisted on a rapid response. Ted obliged.

"Not sure exactly what happened to the poor kid." he met Brian's eyes "A music student. Violinist, the Gold boy I believe."

Instantly Brian's mind flashed an image of Ethan Gold, Justin's roommate. '_Justin's alright_.' Physically at least. He struggled to hold onto the relief and release the sorrow this fact generated.

More than anything he wanted to find Justin. To talk to him. To hold him; if that's what he needed. The Professor didn't ponder too long his sudden overwhelming need to play 'Protector'. Ted was still speaking. Climbing through the trenches of thought, he fought hard to focus on his friend's words.

"There was a group running illegal fights a few blocks from here. It could have been a dog. They're just speculating at this point. Though, if you ask me, even the dullest of blades wouldn't cause the ragged tearing on that poor boy." Ted closed his eyes.

Brian's eyes once again found the lifeless form upon the cement. Just in time to watch the coroner lift the sheet slightly as the body of Ethan Gold was placed on a gurney. The quick glimpse had been an eternity too long. The perfect allotment of moments to sear Brian's stomach with scorching nausea.

He turned swiftly and closed his eyes tightly. It was no use. The image remained. Recalling in gut wrenching detail, he saw the ripped flesh, the torn muscle, the exposed bone of the boy's throat...and the blood. It was an all too familiar scene. He truly was on the verge of vomiting.

Michael's memory surged forward, too soon Brian was transported back to that cold Pittsburgh ally. Without a word to his colleague, he bolted.

Anxiously he dialed Justin's cell. No answer.

His irritation and agony enhanced in knowing the man's dorms were on lock down. Walking in elongated strides, which quickly increased into a full out run. He needed to get home. Away from reality. To his safe haven full of solitude and a cabinet full of liquor. In which he could drink away every ounce of emotion he possessed, quiet his screaming heart and lay his past demons to rest. '_Yes. He needed to be fucking numb._'

* * *

The pulse of his throbbing head echoed through Justin's body. Infinite darkness surrounded him. He felt as if he was being watched by an unknown threat hidden in the shadows. He strained to see...anything.

Struggling to move his body that lie under a pressing weight; a painful ache hibernated beneath his joints. Unable to open his eyes, he opted to use another sense to learn his surroundings. He inhaled sharply, the scent of blood kissed air filled his nostrils. There was something familiar about it. Though, blood that had been dead for hours was hard to distinguish in whose veins it once flowed.

Using every ounce of will he had, he opened his eyes. Weighted lids slowly rose taking in the scenery.

He was in his room. His heavily draped windows offered no help distinguishing the time of day.

He first stretched his stiff limbs, then groggily attempted to recall just what the hell had happened. All of his effort to open them had been moot; he let them fall closed once more.

Several seconds showed blackened silence. Until, a genuine picture began to develop in the dark room of his mind.

"Brian." he whispered with a start and shot up from his mattress.

He instantly looked down at himself, as the scent of iron seemed stronger in consciousness. The knot in his stomach tightened at the sight. Dark stains consumed his shirt, his fingers.

With both the dried blood color and heavy scent resembling rust; Justin gagged involuntarily. His first coherent thought was of the most beautiful human he'd ever met.

The internal knot further tightened, threatening to strangle him from the inside out.

A haze of amnesia settled in the air around him.

'_This wasn't Brian's blood._' he firmly confirmed.

Last night's events began to creep through. His lips trembled as he remembered kissing the Professor goodnight. His_ everything else _tingled as he remembered their passionate performance.

His mind replayed witnessing Brian walking away. '_No. Brian left him, unharmed._' Though most of his panic subsided with this news, the rest of it fought to recall anything after that last 'goodnight.'

Now, standing upright, he stretched more and shook his head. As he became more alert, his senses heightened too.

Inhaling again, he knew instantly the blood he wore belonged to Ethan. His newly awakened ears heard soft cries from the living room. '_Daphne'. _Quickly he shuffled to change his clothes and scrub his hands. '_What the fuck had he done?_' Leaving his icy hands beneath the hot water, he focused on Daphne's sobs. It clicked. He sickened.

Without warning, his Creator's face appeared in his thoughts. He remembered his roommate introducing him, and then nothing. Fear found the very marrow of his bones. He scrubbed his hands harder now, almost raw. Lady Macbeth haunted his thoughts. '_Out damned spot_.' The steam from the pouring faucet seemed to muddle his mind again. '_Brandon had undoubtedly forced him to..._' he paused, not daring to complete the thought. The blond switched off the faucet,dried his hands, then a heavy sigh went to Daphne.

She was sitting on the couch, face puffy from stringing tears. Most importantly however, she appeared to be alone. Cautiously, he approached the girl.

"Daph?" he whispered in a voice so distant he wasn't sure he'd spoke it.

She met his eyes, then swiftly jumped up and threw her arms around him.

"Oh Justin! It's just so awful." she said through steady sobbing.

"What's going on?" he whispered into brown curls.

As he stood listening to the brunette talk, he found it hard to stay focused. Every bit of information she revealed only stirred more questions in Justin. Daphne had told him that Ethan was attacked out front of their building. Last night. Every syllable she spoke pushed him closer to the explanation he feared the most. He cursed his weakness.

_'How had he not been strong enough to deflect the other vampire?' _Easing up on himself, he was reminded that he had been completely caught by surprise. There hadn't been a single second for strategy. Angrier still that Brandon had used Daphne to gain entry to his home, he pulled back and met her eyes. Simultaneously, a new thought plagued his mind. '_How long ago had Brandon found him? How long had he watched? Waited?_'

"Your boyfriend..." he began only to be halted with a look of utter bewilderment.

"My what? Who? Justin you know I'm single." perplexed brown eyes mirrored blues.

'_Shit. She'd already been compelled to forget him._' At the thought, he instinctively reached for the locket around his neck. Something ignited within, scorching his panic to charcoaled terror.

Leaving a confused Daphne to her mourning, Justin rushed back to his room. Frantically he searched his bed, his dresser, his floor. He knew the act was in vain but wasn't ready to admit it. '_Brandon had his locket, his token of humanity.'_ With just having barely processed the horrifying twenty minutes he'd been awake; his eyes saw something to overshadow all else.

Neatly positioned in the center of his desk, lain a photograph. It was of Brian exiting the Majestic Theater. Brandon knew Justin was giving his heart away. A heart his creator had single handedly murdered. '_He knew and he was furious.'_

An instantaneous new worry gripped him tightly. _'Where was Brandon now? Why had he left him alone in his room?'_

Without a moment's hesitation, he slipped on his shoes. He slipped on his abundance of wintery accessories to protect him from the searing sun. He slipped out the door. _'Brian_ has_ to be OK._' he repetitiously chanted with fumbling frightened fingers, he dialed Brian's cell. No answer. He picked up his pace. Each agonizing step to Brian's apartment, weighted with worry and regret.

* * *

Standing, he was wrapped in a shimmering cloak of water. Beaded drops of confusion rained down.

Brian had hoped a hot shower would help to clear his head; as he'd hoped that scotch would help to ease his irrational fear. No matter how tightly he clenched his eyes, the image refused to fade. The gruesome nature of that student's neck was trapped in his head, for eternity he'd guessed. It was right there, filed beside Michael Novotny.

As strongly as he wished he could dismiss his suspicion, it too lurked in the darkest depths of his thoughts.

The harder he sought a more logical reasoning, the easier he found his illogical worries reasonable.

'_Do you really want to go back there Kinney?_' he challenged himself. The last time he'd shared his less than desirable views, he'd been all but committed to the Pittsburgh Sanitarium.

"Christ." he said aloud.

Now someone had been killed. Again. He couldn't sit back and do nothing. What if someone else was hurt? What if, _Justin_ was? The mere thought was just too much to fathom.

The two photos emerged again in his thoughts.

This time he was certain. There was no denying a truth this clear. Ethan's neck wound was eerily similar to Mikey's. Though the emotional wounds differed for Brian; the physical terror was identical.

After his shower he hurriedly dressed. Quickly, he was out the door and on his way to pay a visit to his friend Benjamin Bruckner, Professor of Occult Sciences and Parapsychology at Columbia University. With whom he'd intended to discuss his growing paranoia and half cocked theories of bloodsuckers and things that go bump in his life.

In his empty apartment, his forgotten cellphone rang. Startling the air as it penetrated empty silence.


	11. Discord

**Saturday, Late Afternoon**

* * *

As he listened in respectful quiet, Ben Bruckner tried not to let his sadness show on his face. Brian, with whom he'd been friends with for several years, had spent the past twenty minutes discussing the probability of vampires in the city.

Albeit Ben was an Occult Professor, with Brian, it would always be _more._ It would always be real. It would always be devastating.

He should have predicted this visit from the moment he'd heard about the Gold kid's death. Very few people were welcomed into Mr. Kinney's life. Shared memories and feelings were strictly invite only. Professor Bruckner was one of few V.I.P.s, therefore he knew all about Brian's best friend's murder, about his strong belief in creatures of the night. He knew about his darkest depression, his saddest woe.

This meant that he was also familiar with the scrutiny he'd been under since the age of eighteen. The extensive therapy sessions in an attempt to end this...obsession.

He worried now that his friend would read entirely too much into this incident. Unequivocally sending him back into the paranoia he fought so hard to escape. Brian was here now for one reason. Being a man of paranormal psychology and a true friend, Ben_ believed_ him.

"Have there been any similar killings lately?" he heard Brian ask, pulling him from his inner dwelling.

"I don't know off hand," Ben replied "but listen Brian," he spoke softly, rising to gently touch the other man's shoulder.

"Don't." Brian warned "This isn't about that, I'm not rubber room ready just yet." he attempted to joke.

Ben attempted a little laugh. "Hey, you know I believe you Brian. Always have. Always will. Let's just not get too far ahead of ourselves." he explained calmly.

"It's just someone else could be next, that boy was Just-" he paused.

"Was just what?" Ben prompted him to continue.

"Jus-_tin's_ roommate." he practically whispered and locked Ben's eyes with his. Staring in an attempt to relay his explanation, without having to confirm aloud his personal relationship (he cringed at the word) with a student.

Ben understood, and told him so with a simple nod and a light smile. Inside he was ecstatic that Brian had finally found someone worth caring for.

The awkward pause was broken by a knock on the office door.

"Come in." Ben called.

Both Professors watched a lanky young man with shaggy hair enter.

"Uh, are one of you the ghost teacher?" he smiled and blew upwards to move a stray piece of hair from his eyeline.

Ben chuckled. "I guess that'd be me, Professor Bruckner." he shook the boy's hand. "Professor Kinney." he nodded towards his friend.

"Hunter Montgomery." he reciprocated, then added a hasty "Sir." before dropping his hand.

"Well what can I do for you Hunter Montgomery...Sir?" he smiled.

"Oh, Uh, Um..." the student muttered, steadily searching his book bag for something. "I guess I don't really know, it's just," he paused as he searched deeper in his thoughts and his bag.

The two older men silently watched him remove more junk than could possibly fit from the weathered leather satchel.

"Ah Ha!" Hunter exclaimed, holding up a computer memory card. "I can't really explain this, you kind of have to watch it." he cryptically explained and handed the card to Ben.

"Ooookay." Ben replied as all three men walked towards the computer.

"I'm a film student see, doing a documentary piece on 'The City That Never Sleeps'. I set my camera up at nights and just let it roll. I get a lot of raw performances from students, fights, jokes, lovers, and just real life shots ya know?" he finished with a question he hadn't needed answered "Last night it was hidden in the courtyard, ya know where that kid got, well you know." he finally breathed.

"Are you telling us that you have recorded the attack?" Brian spoke for the first time since Hunter entered.

"I'm saying just watch it, cause honestly it's some crazy shi-stuff." he motioned with his hand for Ben to open the file.

He did.

Three pairs of shocked eyes stared in stunned silence.

First, Brian recognized the angle as having been shot from the roof on which he'd stood 'listening to life' with Justin. It captured a broad view of the courtyard. Hunter's finger made an audible tap on the monitor as he pointed to an unobstructed view of the alley beside the Rose building. Brian guessed it was filmed sometime after two a.m (when the college bars closed) and five a.m (when people started their day); for there were little to no people in the entire wide shot.

"OK, watch that spot." Hunter instructed.

Doing as he'd been told, Brian's eyes were unable to blink. Wide-eyed, he devoured the scene before him. His rouge mouth too had become agape.

Even as Ben rewound and played it again, the rest of Brian's shocked confused features gave out. His throat matched the dryness of his unblinking eyes, and parched lips. His ears refused to let him hear what he knew he had to listen to. His heart thumped louder than any of his screaming thoughts. Eventually willing his face to flinch, he glanced up to meet Ben's look of concern. No doubt, his eyes and ears were in fine working order.

"I heard it." Ben barely whispered, then felt Brian wriggle his fingers over his own to encourage him to click the mouse.

"Play it again." Brian said almost too softly to hear. Perhaps his whispers were his own way of scaling back his disbelief. As if a softer tone would somehow soften the shock.

Brian took a deep breath, shook his head and locked his eyes on the screen once more. This time, he was expecting the unyielding terror of the video.

Still, being prepared for it had made him no less sick to his stomach. Knowing the only audible word before it escaped Ethan's lips had made the stab to his heart no less sharp.

Though he knew what he was seeing, he had no explanation ready. He sat as still as he was speechless. The other two men matched his silence.

He needed to watch once more before he could accurately evaluate this weighted delusion pressing on reality. Anxiously pushing his hand underneath Ben's, Brian clicked 'Play' again.

Hazel studied every frame.

Ethan stumbled from the lobby and spilled into the night. At first glance he appeared intoxicated. Upon further inspection you'd notice the dark river flowing from his throat. His slight, gentle hands (perfectly suited for holding a bow) fervently attempted to stop the rushing stream of blood. The student lost his balance, but hadn't fallen. On the contrary, he had been seemingly lifted by a pair of unseen arms. Then, those same phantom limbs dragged him quite unwillingly towards the alleyway.

To the untrained eye, this was nothing of significance. To two of the three men in office 210B, it was the most important detail. For these men knew what most men didn't...

...Vampires will never appear on film.

Pressed roughly against the brick building, the boy cried out a slur of unintelligible protests. Until a shriek of pain sliced through the night and Ethan Gold fell to the ground. A crumpled heap of a broken soul. Something Brian had never hoped to see again. As the boy's shallow breaths guided him to death, he spoke. Unmistakably, the word hit the air with knockout force.

"_Justin_."

It was a moment, or many, before Brian could think at all. Until, like a spy in disguise realization snuck up on him.

He had been right to worry about Justin.

Albeit he'd been grossly wrong about the reason.

A forgotten (but familiar) uncontrollable shudder found him. An echoed tremor of past terror. As genuine and irrational as a child's fear of the dark; or a monster lurking under their bed.

A paralyzing intrigue heightened his panic.

'_What do you do when you invite the monster _into _your bed?_'

He felt fucking sick.

Sharp shards of his continually shattering sanity, pierced his mind. The pieces began to find their place, unveiling the puzzle as a whole.

'_How could he have been so careless, so fucking stupid?_' he bit his tongue as his teeth clenched in sync with his eyes and fists.

No wonder his feelings for the other man, no the _monster, _were this intense. He had manipulated his thoughts. He had played with him like a cat with yarn. The strings of his heart.

The blond was good, Brian had to give him that. He almost laughed at how easily he'd been deceived. Taylor was educated beyond his years and gorgeous.

'_Ageless beauty of the soulless beast._' He recalled the photo in the archives this morning. The answer, the truth, had literally stared him in the face. '_Why hadn't he seen it?_'

Glancing at Ethan's body, frozen on the screen; he remembered the first time he'd seen the kid. It was Thursday in the auditorium. Justin then, had kissed the boy's throat.

His stomach lurched forward, heaving him into another memory.

His mind flashed.

He recalled the way he'd felt completely connected to the blond's body. Justin's smile. Brian loathed the conflicting aches it induced. Hated the hurt in his heart. Hated even more the deceitful head games that had placed it there.

'_No. This pseudo love was not real. It was an illusion. What the vampire had wanted him to believe._'

He would fight the figment feelings with whatever pieces remained of his broken heart. Too many thoughts tangled together, wrapping ribbons of fear and confusion around his brain.

Endless words swirled within, begging for release.

"Fuck." was the only one to escape.

"See what I mean? Crazy." Hunter breathed, glancing from Professor to Professor. "Do you know what happened?" he asked in a serious tone to match Brian's serious expression.

"Vampire." he whispered his answer.

"Christ. No fucking way!" the student chuckled a bit and scoffed, though his eyes were alight with wonder. He looked to Ben half expecting the man to counter Professor Kinney's ludicrous claim. When he didn't, Hunter felt uneasy. Instantly wishing he was somewhere else. '_Were these two whack-jobs for real?_' Apparently. Although he'd never believed in vampires before...James Hunter Montgomery had never _not_ believed in them either. He had to admit, something had attacked the violinist that he couldn't see. If these two extremely well educated men thought it true, who was he to argue?

"Vampires?" he swallowed hard, then felt himself being ushered towards the exit.

Ben began to thank the kid and usher him out. He needed to talk to his friend alone. However, Hunter was hell bent not to allow that.

"No fucking way I'm leaving." he stated firmly, wriggling out from under Ben's grip. "My evidence. My rules. I'm staying." he practically stomped his foot and plopped his ass on Professor Bruckner's desk.

Ben smiled, something about this kid was endearing. He liked his spunk. "Fine." he held up his hands in defeat, before resting one on an eerily quiet Brian's shoulder.

The man didn't flinch as Ben had expected. He could only imagine the hurricane of confusion brewing in Brian's brain. He had heard as clear as the rest, 'Justin'. The very Justin Brian came here in hopes of protecting. Now, it seemed Brian was the one in danger. Ben's heart ached for the cruelty of Brian's world. '_How much more must the poor man have to suffer?_' He hadn't a clue in hell what to say to him. So he said nothing. Luckily for Ben, Brian spoke first.

"Why would he say that?" he asked, not expecting an answer. He didn't receive one. "He...he said _his_ name." he stated the obvious. "Justin's a..." he hadn't needed to speak the word for it to be heard.

Ben frantically searched for what to say. "Now, we don't know that." he tried to comfort, though was hard pressed to offer another explanation.

Brian breathed a broken sentence. "But he...we...I thought that...vampires can't love, right?"

Hunter shrugged.

The other Professor attempted to answer his friend's distraught thoughts. "Typically, it's believed that they are incapable of genuine love. Only feigning compassion to lure their prey for feasting. A pseudo passion to satisfy their sexual needs." Ben paused for Brian to speak.

Brian didn't.

He instead was remembering their intense sex session the previous night. Something that refused to identify itself tugged at Brian's soul. Regardless of all the signs to the contrary, it was hard to believe the blond's passion was only pretend. A ruse, a mere act performed on a literal stage in the pathetic play of Brian's life. He was pulled from the audience of his one man show at the continued sound of Ben's voice.

"However some theorize that, though exceptionally rare, it's not impossible for a vampire to genuinely connect with a human. The phenomena is known as merging." With Brian and Hunter listening intently, Ben continued.

"A literal merging of minds, some even claim it's the joining of souls. Personally, I think it's a myth. For one, it's never been documented. Also, I don't have much faith that a soulless creature can reconnect with humanity." He shook his head slightly then was surprised to hear Brian's voice. It was low and increasingly unsteady.

Shaking words trembled to Ben's ears.

"But, this merging, let's say it was real. How would it manifest? How would you know?" he whispered the last word.

Ben could hear the pain in Brian's voice. Knowing without pause that the man was yearning for some plausible justifications of his feelings. Brian Kinney had a hard enough time even allowing himself to feel. Now, at long last he had and what had he now to show for it?

Retrieving what little knowledge on merging he'd ever learned, he offered it to him. "A vamp and a mortal will be instantaneously drawn to one another. Quite literally sharing feelings, thoughts and dreams, both sleeping and awake. It's been suggested that both sides can even make predictions." Ben chuckled slightly at Brian's now raised eyebrow, and Hunter's inquiry of "Psychic Bloodsuckers?" then continued his interrupted explanation. "Yes, in a way psychic, I suppose. If the connection is strong enough, the same flashes will be bestowed upon them. Usually of an erotic nature." he added without embarrassment.

Brian's mind raced towards a finish line he hadn't particularly wanted to cross.

He felt torn, very much in a literal sense. Ripped down the middle in two contradictory halves. One who longed to be relieved, even happy. One that wanted to believe this 'merging' was real and that Justin wasn't damned. That the blond's passion had been genuine. That his own emotions held merit.

However, the other side, jagged edged from the vicious rip, felt sick. Frustrated and terrified of every emotion. This side shamelessly questioned and doubted every feeling flowing within. '_He needed to have a sit down with all of his pieces_. _H__e needed to do it alone._' He stood.

"I need to go." he blurted out freely.

"Go? Where? We haven't organized a plan, haven't formulated options..." Ben began but was stopped by Brian's raised fingers.

"I just need to be alone. To collect my thoughts." he softened.

"Have you ever invited him into your apartment?" Ben asked concerned.

Brian shook his head.

"OK, good. Then you'll be safe at home." Ben added.

'_Safe?_' The word shocked Brian with a jolt. '_Did he really need protection from Justin?_' It all seemed extreme, almost ridiculous.

He watched as Ben rummaged through the top drawer of his solid oak desk.

Attempting to infuse humor into the tense atmosphere, he grinned weakly. "What professor? You gonna give me a garlic necklace? Cause I don't think it'd really go with this suit."

Ben didn't laugh. Brian wasn't surprised.

"Look, I'm serious here Kinney." Brian's posture relaxed a bit as Ben approached. He handed him something small, a crucifix keychain. Brian resisted his want to roll his eyes. If this calmed Ben down, then he would play along.

Although Brian himself had never really believed the whole, 'religious emblems repel vampires' regime'. He clipped the cross to his keys and rushed his goodbyes.

Newfound thoughts pounded against his skull. '_Nothing a few shots couldn't cure_'.

* * *

**Saturday Evening, Brian's Apartment**

Unsure as to how he hadn't in fact bore a hole in the floor from pacing; Justin sighed. Exhaling some of his anxiety with the air he didn't need.

Infinite scenarios played out in his over active imagination, all of them bad.

Each one ending in Brian's un-beating heart.

The only heart Justin gave a damn about, including his own.

He had been here for hours and hadn't heard from the Professor.

Self hatred boiled over, scorching his thoughts with heated regret. Already, innocent Ethan had died because of him. As his memory was non-existent, he could only assume Brandon had punished the violinist because he cared for Justin. Had done so even more if he'd believed the blond had cared for him in return. As to whether or not his creator had ended the kid's life himself or if he had forced Justin to do it, was unclear.

Most certainly he didn't want to know the one answer he needed to learn.

'_If Brandon had already found Brian..._' he tried to push the rest of the thought away. It pushed back with too much force to fight.

He had called the brunet's cell only, to his alarm, hear it ringing from inside the apartment.

He strained to hear the man's song, his glorious chords, proof of life.

The silence that instead greeted him, further engulfed him in panic and guilt. If Brian lie lifeless somewhere, it would be all his fault.

His eyelids fell with weighted worry. Burgundy tears brimmed in blue.

He pictured Brian's eyes. With their mesmerizing glint of gold, green, and shades of brown encircling their secrets.

The image of glistening hazel filled him wholly.

It was the most magnificent sight anyone could ever view with closed eyes.

'_What would happen if Brian's eyes were no longer full of life?_' he hadn't cared to imagine, though if forced to guess, he'd have concluded the world would cease to spin.

Turning swiftly to continue his constant pace, he stopped. The sudden stillness set his equilibrium askew. He stumbled slightly. Regaining his balance, he focused his attention to what had caused his halt.

Albeit rapid and immensely disharmonious, he heard it. Brian's song.

The intensely painful fear he'd felt seconds ago, transformed into a dull ache.

Relieved, yes. Though not entirely.

As Brian became closer to reaching this floor, he grew louder.

New fears found Justin. Brian's song was full of discord. Conflicted beyond belief. A horrible melody unlike anything the vampire had ever heard. True, Brian was safe, alive.

Yet, Justin was equally as certain that something was still terribly wrong.


	12. Conflicted

The instant Brian stepped off of the elevator, Justin's suspicion was confirmed.

The first thing he noticed were those enigmatic eyes. Only, they were not the eyes he'd envisioned mere moments ago. Their golden gleam had dimmed. Their beautiful brown, a muted spark of their previous flame.

Now, also those eyes contained something Justin had yet to see in Brian. Fear..._of him. _

The man's erratic heart beat confirmed this evaluation. Immediately the blond's mind assumed Brian had remembered he'd killed Michael. '_No._' he discarded that notion. Justin himself couldn't even be certain of that truth. '_Then what is it?_'

Logically he next assumed that Brandon had found him. Perhaps, he'd told Brian what Justin really was. It certainly sounded like a plan cruel enough to satisfy his creator. His tormentor. To turn the man he loves, '_loves?_' (his own thought startled him, but he drudged through the rest of his theory) against him. If that was the case, it was working.

Having Brian afraid of him was a fate worse than a stake through the heart.

A dagger of indescribable sharpness pierced Justin's very core.

His clear head reminded him that if Brian had indeed met Brandon, he would feel it. Each time Daphne had been near him, it threw Justin into a vicious tailspin of nausea and dis-coherence. Thankfully, it appeared Brian had not come in contact with him.

'_Yet._' he grudgingly reminded himself. He couldn't forget that the man was still somewhere, waiting, and now the reason for Brian's obvious terror remained unknown.

For the shallow end of a second he considered compelling him. He couldn't. He wouldn't. "You're OK. I was so worried." he declared, too cowardly to ask what was wrong just yet.

He knew that some how Brian _knew_. That the brunet had somewhere, in some way learned everything Justin had longed to keep buried. Buried deep beneath Brian's world, away from his still healing heart.

The quiet returned. Brain said nothing.

Justin couldn't bear it. Thoughtlessly disregarding Brian's aversion, Justin strode forward. He wrapped his slender arms around the teacher's torso.

He had to hold him, needed proof he was really here. Not simply a mirage in the endless empty desert where his heart had been exiled years ago.

To his genuine surprise and confusion the other man hadn't pulled away. Instead, he mirrored the embrace, taking Justin into his trembling limbs.

Brian shivered at the feel of Justin in his arms. Both men ostensibly welded together.

An audible gasp kissed the air as Justin's lips softly kissed Brian's.

Inside of an instant, the Professor found that he was kissing back. Urging his tongue deep, challenging it to taste the devil in this angel's mouth.

Gaining confidence with the kiss' momentum, Brian pushed the blond's body harshly against the still locked door of his apartment. Justin's mouth matched the urgency of Brian's own.

Their bodies pressed tight, like a flower between the pages of an old book.

Devouring mouths momentarily erasing Brian's memory. For a few precious seconds everything just felt..._right_.

_Deliciously pale flesh bathed in soft light. Slender limbs tangled within blue satin sheets. _

A familiar flash played as vividly as if they were re-enacting it. The same sensual delusion they'd shared that first night of class.

'_Merging._' Brian's mind screamed the word with deliberate intensity. '_How could someone so angelic ever have been born from hell?_'

By his own admission, Brian Kinney wasn't a religious man. Although, you can't grow up with Saint Joan without learning the basics.

There was good and there was bad.

There was right and there was wrong.

However, right now he was perplexed. Fiercely he wondered how both ends of the spectrum could co-exist. Easily blending together, wrapping itself with this kiss.

Twirling tongues and thoughts were making him dizzy.

Maybe he was being ridiculous. Jumping head first into a sea of conclusions, desperate to drown in his own paranoia.

Any man who could pour this much passion into a kiss couldn't be a killer. Couldn't be a monster. Creatures of the night didn't feel, couldn't care.

He recalled the sadness in Justin's voice when he'd spoken of his late mother. He thought again of the gentleness in his face as he'd listened to Brian talk about Michael.

'_Michael._' The thought of his best friend invoked an entirely new set of emotions. Ones the Professor wanted to refuse to address right now. Namely, his innate hatred of fanged predators.

Ever so conflicted, he no longer knew what to think.

"Justin." his own voice breathed without his permission.

With a brutal roughness he snapped back into reality and away from the kiss.

The name he'd just spoken had earlier fallen from the lips of another. Lips who'd never again speak.

The ghost of Ethan's final whisper haunted his thoughts. An echoing reminder of the danger he faced.

The increasing depth of his feelings for this blond, was no longer his only worry.

'_No. Unlike these implanted emotions, the fear was real...and all his own.'_

Justin was spinning with confusion. He'd damned near suffered whiplash from Brian's hasty retreat from their kiss.

He stared in wonder as he listened in worry. '_Yes. Brian's heart most definitely played terror._' The blood in his veins rushed through the man rapidly. Justin could hear the fear, hear too, the conflicted accompaniment of hope and defeat. More than anything he wanted to know what Brian was thinking.

The walking contradiction himself was now positioned tightly against the door.

Studying his body language and the eyes fixed on his own, Justin tensed. Paused. Remained ever still.

Brian's muscles were rigid, stiff with unease. A nervous tightness assaulted his own muscles. A millisecond before he'd asked the brunet what was wrong, the Professor beat him to the punch.

"He said your name." Brian rasped, several syllables getting caught in his throat.

"What? Who? Brian, what's going on?" Justin asked gently and began to step forward

Brian's eyes widened at the sight of the blond's raised foot, he was also attempting to press himself impossibly closer to the door. His heart rate escalated.

Noting the man's obvious desire to keep his distance, Justin returned his foot to the ground, and remained in place.

Once an acceptable width was decided, Brian spoke again.

"Ethan, he said your name. you killed him." Brian's words broke in sync with Justin's heart.

"Ethan?" Justin whispered, then met Brian's eyes.

The brunet rushed to unlock their gaze and looked at the floor.

Justin's mind was consumed with questions not a single answer among them.

"Surveillance! I saw it, I heard it. He said your name." Brian rattled in wisps of hard to catch breaths. "You're, You're...a..." he let his voice trail into a stream of silence, hot salty tears matching the current.

Justin was dumbfounded. Awe-stricken, and fucking terrified.

Not only had Brian indeed learned his secret, he had also drawn the conclusion that he had killed Ethan.

He cursed his curse with reckless vigor.

Brian was filling the blond with so much information, and weighted pain. '_Why then, did he feel so hollow?_'

He didn't know what to say. Remaining shocked, still and silent, he stepped forward again. This time with no objection from Brian.

When he was but inches from this beautifully wrecked man, Brian lifted his head; eyes clouded with so much hurt, that surely they could no longer see.

Justin could neither confirm or deny his responsibility for Ethan. However, his silence spoke volumes. Unequivocally he hadn't needed words to tell Brian he was right. '_He was a monster._'

Listening to the fractured melody of the brunet's heart; Justin felt helpless. Hopeless.

The vampire's train of thought surged full speed ahead. Veering off track, destined for a collision of cataclysmic proportions. Soon it'd be crashing into all reason. Ending reality as he knew it. His already deceased heart, it's only fatality.

'_Nothing would ever be the same._'

He wanted nothing more than to dissolve into the darkness surrounding his existence. Disappear into nothingness.

When Brian's pulse quickened Justin emerged back into the light. Though the horrendous notes still played, the Professor's heart betrayed him. Faintly in the distance it existed. The blond was certain. Listening intently, his tummy flipped a little.

The sweet sound of 'love' still lingered in Brian's beats. This fact caused Justin's mind to dance. Swaying in the rhythm of distant music.

Unfortunately, Brian had had an entirely different reaction. One that put an end to all of the waltzing steps in Justin's mind. He sounded...disgusted. Ashamed. The boisterous new emotions screamed from his veins.

Justin's knees buckled, vertigo ruthless in it's pursuit to push him down.

"It's not real." Brian suddenly said, feverishly fighting the quaver in his voice. He straightened his posture as he appeared to gain his confidence by the second. He met Justin's eyes, teeth clenched he spoke again.

"You've compelled me. Made me a prisoner to my own emotions. You've altered my thoughts with your voodoo mind tricks!" he practically roared the end of the sentence. His usually graceful limbs flailed like a madman.

When he'd flung his arm outward, Justin flinched. He took several steps back, his insides cowered.

He had never compelled Brian. Even given everything that had been discovered, the blond couldn't help but feel annoyed; angry even, that Brian didn't believe his own heart.

The brunet's words were blade edged, slicing through him.

"No!" Justin cried "I never." he fiercely shook his head "I didn't, I couldn't...I _wouldn't_." he stated firmly.

Certainly Brian could deduce that if Justin had had any intentions on compelling him...they wouldn't be here. Quickly and effortlessly, he'd have made all of this vanish.

A part of the vampire once again longed to do exactly that. Erase the fear from hazel. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He knew all too well how it felt to be robbed of your memories. He would never take away Brian's free will. Everything he felt and thought was what made him the man that Justin loved. Good or bad, he'd endure and embrace every genuine feeling.

"You were always in control of your own heart. Brian," his voice lowered "your emotions, your thoughts, those are yours." he insisted with pleading eyes.

Feeling himself begin to soften his resistance, Brian sighed heavily. '_Was it true? His feelings were real?_'

Instinctively, he reconstructed the walls around his heart. Barricaded himself in impenetrable armor. '_No. Justin had to be lying. He couldn't listen to anymore of this._'

Frantically he fumbled to remove his keys from his coat; dropping them in his rush. He paused for a moment and just stared. He glanced at Justin who, too, was currently eying the glistening crucifix at Brian's feet.

Justin ached over Brian's conflict. He looked at the cross affixed to the man's keys. When Brian hadn't immediately retrieved them, Justin understood. This was surely meant to be a test.

Admittedly, slightly worried, he approached the offending heap of metal. Though it could potentially sear his skin, he needed to prove to Brian that he was harmless.

Without further pause, he bent down and picked them up. The smooth silver met his flesh with ease.

It disheartened him.

Only when it's owner does truly believe, will a religious relic render power against the damned.

Justin was overwhelmed with a deepening sadness. He couldn't bear the fact that Brian had no faith. Regardless, he refused to believe that a soul as beautiful as Brian Kinney's wouldn't be granted eternal salvation.

Wordlessly, he offered the keys to Brian. Hesitantly, he took them.

Fingers brushed with electric intensity, both men gasped. Eyes locked, momentarily forgetting the world.

Suddenly Justin remembered what had brought him here tonight. '_Brandon._'

"Brian, I'm worried..." he was hushed.

"Don't!" the Professor snapped, louder than he'd intended. The heavy octave hitting the quiet hall. "Justin." he said faintly. It was the first time he'd addressed the vampire by name since he'd confirmed his true self.

A fact that plagued them both.

Justin had heard hope in that whispered name.

Brian had heard defiance.

His fucking disobedient heart was relentlessly pushing him toward the very thing he wished to run away from.

Finally getting the key in the door, he pressed it open. Not meeting blue, he kept his head down.

"I, I just...can't." he finished, then entered the apartment. Locking the door behind him.

Unsure at the moment just who he was protecting. '_Was he preventing the other man from coming in, or himself from going to him? Man?' _he scoffed. '_The blond was not a human_.' Brian's stomach stirred at the reminder. He refused to contemplate the vampire's true age or his true intentions.

A vile taste of truth tainted his tongue.

Stripping off his clothes, though unable to remove the heart from his sleeve; he took a bottle of beam to bed. A liquid distraction.

He pushed his head deep into the pillow, in hopes of pushing himself further from his racing mind.

He could make no sense of his feelings.

Just steps away, he was positive Justin still stood. He screamed at the part of himself that wanted to be near the blond. _'How could it now pain him to have the solitude he craved?'_

His thoughts were exhausted, his heart was too tired to fight.

Wrapped tightly in a shroud of denial and forgotten lullabies he drifted to sleep.

Several feet away, though the distance felt infinite, Justin Taylor stayed. Worried for Brian if Brandon appeared, he wasn't going anywhere. He slid his tired body down the length of the apartment door.

A doorway between the heaven he would never see, and his own personal hell.


	13. In Dreams

**Early Sunday Morning**

* * *

_Darkness dominated his sight. The blackness was absolute. Although he knew his eyes were open, the vision of nothing consumed him. He listened._

_The room was almost as silent as it was dark. The only sound came from his own shallow breaths. _

_He felt a mere whisper of a touch kiss his flesh. _

_A warm breeze on his body informed him that he was nude. _

_The soft touch on his shoulder transcended further. Soon icy fingertips traced the muscles of his tightly toned stomach. He shivered. The touch was gentle, inviting. And, despite it's coolness, Brian's body temperature steadily began to rise._

_ Lips, equally as soft suddenly grazed his own. The second their mouths greeted one another he knew to whom these touches belonged. Justin. _

_The instant the name formed in his thoughts, the darkness eased. Looking now, the blackness yielded, bringing the blond into view. _

_Intense blue eyes pinned him to the spot where he lay. He couldn't move. He didn't want to. He felt Justin position himself atop him. Two lovers, vertically stacked. _

_The passion of their kiss strengthened with every moment._

_ As he further tasted the blond's flavor, Brian felt euphorically light. He wondered how he could feel both like he was falling towards a bottomless pit and floating up to the heavens. He found himself grateful for Justin's weighted body pressing him down. The anchor grounding him to earth._

_ Brian pulled the boy even closer, hating every inch that dared to come between them._

_ Too quickly, everything changed. _

_The kiss became rough, aggressive. The gentle nurturing blond was no longer present. A dominant, persistent man in his place. _

_The room around them spun ceaselessly. Brian felt sick. An unexpected fear shot through him. He turned rigid. _

_Justin hadn't appeared to notice._

_ Meeting Justin's eyes, Brian's heart rapidly fluttered until it flew from his chest altogether. The predatory glint in blue did not excite the brunet as he'd have thought. It in turn terrified him._

_ Suddenly he was cursing the same weight of the body he'd appreciated mere moments before._

_ Eyes locked, unblinking, cautious, he saw the blond smile. It was heartbreaking in it's beauty. _

_Brian watched in bliss-less awe as the student's cuspids elongated; their sharp points threatening him quietly. _

_His brain was screaming at his body to move. It didn't listen._

_ As still as the ever thickening air, Brian gave up. He had never felt more helpless. _

_So shocked by what happened next, the brunet hadn't even screamed. _

_The vampire's fangs pierced his flesh. _

_He could feel the rush of warm blood escaping. Could smell it's mineral scent. Could now too, feel Justin drinking from the open wounds. Licking, kissing, suckling. Brian's stomach churned. __Both at the horror with the act itself; and his disgusted enjoyment of it._

_ He'd briefly considered begging with the blond creature to drink away his life. Then he would be free, released from the burden of his emotions. _

_In a haze of confusion, the scene changed once more._

_ A gorgeous melody sang through the night. Moonlight beckoned to him. With heavy feet, he walked. Silver beamed down, providing a spotlight on the act about to be performed. _

_Brian's heart identified his surroundings. He was standing in the center of his nightmare; that Pittsburgh alleyway._

_ At first glance, he was alone. The tantalizing music grew louder. The empty world frightened him. _

_A delicate something brushed his skin. A rain of rose petals fell all around him. Silken red steadily poured from the starless onyx sky. _

_His attention was pulled once again towards the song. The notes that had always pleaded for his attention in every dream. _

_He did not question that he was now sitting in the plush seat of the Majestic Theater. A faceless pianist played on the stage, playing with purpose._

_ A familiar giggle whispered to him, he turned...'_Mikey'. _Oh how his heart warmed at the sight of his friend. When he reached to touch him, the eighteen year old boy's expression changed. He morphed from happy to horrified before hazel eyes. _

_"Don't go!" Brian heard himself cry out. _

_The auditorium went out of focus. Only the view of the stage remained clear...and the men standing on it. _

_Brian instantly appeared beside them._

_ Mikey's small body was pressed against the prop iron gate. Lustful sounds echoed in the air. The musician kissed Brian's friend deeply. He struggled to see the man. His identity remained an untold secret. With his face half covered by a white phantom mask, and the rest of him hidden by the shadows and Mikey's kisses._

_ In a single paralyzing second, the kiss turned to pain. The Professor stared in horror as he watched, helplessly his brother's life come to an end. He went to run. He legs refused. _

_That fucking song rang louder, deafeningly so. _

_Brian removed his eyes from a bleeding Michael, and placed them on the pianist._

_ The melody pushed pressure on his chest. Simultaneously, two things came to light._

_ This song he knew, he knew too well. The melody stopped his heart._

_Ice frosted his mind. Frozen eyes locked on those of the composer. The phantom mask no longer concealed his face. _

_Crystal eyes that burned with desire, and darkened with vicious content. Hazel eyes empty of trust reflected in the blue that Brian had wanted to love. _

_The monster's lips painted a smile with Michael's blood. The very smile that had broken Brian's heart._

* * *

With ruthless alert, Brian was shot from his dream; propelling him into consciousness. Flurries of comprehension settled on the surface of his mind. Dusting his thoughts with ice cold fear.

"Justin killed Mikey." he heard his voice say. He hadn't remembered telling it to speak.

Frantically, he searched the room with his eyes. Hoping to find proof that he was still dreaming. The heavy perspiration dripping from his hairline; regrettably confirmed this nightmare was real.

His mind raced to catch up with the Olympian spirit of his heart rate. For several moments he ingested heavy gulps of air, fearing he was about to hyperventilate.

The air tasted of bitter truth and agonizing disbelief.

Although his thoughts were screaming, the apartment waited patiently mute. His heavy painful swallow resounded around him.

His throat was torturously dry. Instinctively he looked to his bedside table. Predicting he'd find a bottle of water; he was instead met with a glass filled with lies. The scotch glass still held the faintly wilting rose Justin had given him the other night. The sight made him physically ill.

His stomach lurched forward.

Without pause, shaking fingers flung the glass across the room. It's shattering glass shattering silence.

The cruel irony of his heart echoed too. The first person he'd shared it with in eleven years, had been the very same to rip it from him in the first place. Aggressively torn from his chest with the tear of Michael's throat.

The vile taste he'd had before bed, still slept on his tongue.

He flipped the blankets from his overheated body and stood. Instantly light headed, he waited a minute.

The anger he felt matched the sickness. His stomach was doing it's best to rerun last night's liquor deposit.

With his revealing dream still fresh, Brian felt weak. Suddenly unsure as to whether or not he could trust his own legs to carry him to the kitchen. He could. They did. Barely.

He pulled open the fridge and drank an entire bottle of water in one long swig. It's task unsuccessful in washing away the betrayal that rested within.

Reflexively he gagged. A rough bought of sporadic coughs soon followed. Arriving in groups before morphing into full fledged dry heaving.

His body shook, knocking loose thoughts he didn't want.

Bombarded with so many in fact, he began to feel claustrophobic in the large empty apartment.

He pictured first Michael, and then Justin.

The obnoxiously hateful hands of time were strangling the life out of him. His past choked him until the breathes stopped coming altogether.

One final, strong vibration, and his stomach gave up. The brunet flung his head over the sink. Violently vomiting, attempting to purge the toxic truth poisoning him.

Once his flipping muscles eased, he reached for the cold water knob. Eyes closed, he splashed the liquid ice onto his face. A small part of himself still expected to awaken.

A deeper disappointment seeped in. Everywhere he looked, the world was fading away.

His already flimsy grip on reality, slipping from his grasp.

Finally turning off the faucet, he felt streaming tears quickly replace it's flow. Behind a shimmering sea of mixed emotions; hazel spied the piano. A new pain pierced through him.

The tantalizing melody that had hidden in his dreams for a decade, played in his memory.

Once again, he felt utterly disgusted at his lack of observation. He recalled the hypnotic notes of Justin's sonata, and the way his own fingers had played along. He wished now that he would have further questioned his knowledge of the keys then.

If only he hadn't been so focused on his primal need for sex. He shuddered. '_How could he still feel himself buried deep within Justin?_' '_No_.' he abruptly corrected. He needed to stop referring to the blond by name.

He was inhuman. A murderer. A deceiver. A monster, wearing a false smile and lying eyes. '_Oh those eyes, with their crippling beauty._'

Outwardly, Brian groaned. An abrupt sob escaped as well. Warily approaching the piano, he stopped first at another instrument. Mikey's guitar.

Golden finger's gingerly traced it's surface. He pulled it into his arms. Despite his highly decorated academia, Brian had never felt more fucking dumb. Nowhere in his studies, had ever existed a word to describe the way he felt.

Unconstrained rage invited an ocean of tears to flood the apartment. With any luck, he'd hoped he'd drown.

Forceful feelings flowed forth.

It had been eleven years since Brian Kinney had truly let himself cry. _Really_ cry, with reckless abandon and disregard to any image in which he'd ever portrayed himself.

The tears escaped in droves, releasing everything he could no longer hold onto.

Hurried gasps, shaking bones and trembling lips reprised their roles in this hysterical performance.

Brian cried until his eyes went dry...until his body went limp...numb.

He'd released tears of all emotions. Rage, hurt, anger, regret, sadness, disbelief, fear, vengeance, pain...yet still buried beneath them all, several drops of love escaped.

Unfortunately, Brian himself had not dissolved and washed away in the downpour. Like the first rain of spring erases the frigid winter. '_No._' his coldness remained.

Thoughtlessly, the Professor hurled the guitar forward. It met the nearest brick wall with a terrifying slam. The instant he'd felt the instrument exit his hands, Brian regretted the action. '_How could he have done that_?'

"Fuck!" he exclaimed in a voice he hadn't recognized. It was the voice of a man as broken as the guitar. As shattered as his reality, the bones in his wrist. As broken as his dreams. His heart.

Impossibly, more tears kissed the brim of his eyes.

His long, lean body slid ashamed down the length of the kitchen's island. He rested his head against the wooden surface. His mind unable to pause on any of his rushing thoughts.

A loud bang, too soon startled in his quiet wallow.

"Brian?" the monster's voice shouted worriedly through the door. His anger rose.

'_What the hell was the creature still doing here?_' a crippling pressure pressed heavy onto him. '_This was all his fault.'_ Brian's brain roared.

Allowing his eyes to grace the splintered piece of his past, he knew what he had to do. Shakily, he stood.

For several agonizing moments, he paused. The emptiness he felt a second ago was replaced with weighted dread. He was paralyzed.

Genuinely afraid that if he were to move, he'd literally fall apart.

Microscopic pieces of his former self fluttering to the ground like heavy ash. The aftermath of his life's volcanic eruption. It's river of lava rushed now through his veins. Hot. Angry. Vicious.

With a painful sigh on his now aching lungs, he walked.

No longer would he hide behind these walls. '_This was ending now. Once and for all, he'd lay Mikey to rest._'

Forcefully retrieving the largest, sharpest splitter of the ruined wooden guitar, he pulled open the door.

* * *

Justin hadn't slept a wink. Brandon hadn't shown up. A fact the blond was still trying to decide if it was a good or bad sign.

A part of him hoped his creator would stop toying with his patience. That the other vampire would just hurry up with whatever terror he was planning. Only then, could Justin know exactly what he was up against, and exactly the best way to protect Brian from harm.

'_Brian_.'

Every time he thought his name, Justin hurt. Over the past six hours, he'd thought his name an endless number of times.

All night Justin had sat helplessly listening to the Professor's song. As the man dreamed, it's octaves changed into every emotion.

Ones like lust and passion made the blond's mind work overtime. A glimmer of happiness emerged. He let himself imagine that those feelings were directed towards him. That the beautiful man asleep behind the door was dreaming of him.

Though, other emotions like fear and pain, anger. Yes. Those had quickly pulled the vampire's head from the clouds. '_What right did he have to dream so close to heaven?' _

The intense, negative feelings playing through Brian's heart were the logical ones. The one's the vampire knew for certain were directed towards him.

Glancing at his watch, he knew the sun would soon rise. Knowing if he was going to leave, it needed to be now. He made no attempt to move. He was safe in the windowless, neighbor-less, hall. He tried to convince himself that Brian was safer with him here too.

He heard the brunet's heavy gasps, had heard his racing heart and pacing steps. He was awake; anxious, angry. Focusing every effort on listening, he pressed his ear against the door.

He heard the man vomit, heard the man sob, heard the man completely and utterly break down.

A sharp pang stabbed at him. Something was wrong. Something besides _everything_. This something was worse.

He debated begging for access to the apartment. Of course he knew, he was the very last face Brian wanted at his door. Yet, he couldn't help himself.

Several unbearable minutes of silence had Justin worrying mercilessly.

When that silence was suddenly broken with a booming crash; he panicked. '_What if Brandon was somehow already inside?_'

Window entry was always an option. He knew that Brian often brought random men home. He hadn't known just how long Brandon had watched him. Perhaps he had already introduced himself to Justin's beating heart, his human, his love.

The now heightened panic overshadowed all reason. His fists found the door without hesitance. Furiously pounding.

"Brian?" he called out. Nothing. And then..._too much_.

The door swung open aggressively. The gust of air from it's force, brushed Justin's face. He studied the man before him.

He was a stranger. Certainly this could not be _his_ Brian.

The vampire heard nothing in the man's song but seething rage.

Saw nothing but hazel consumed with hatred; and the sharp shard of wood begging to pierce his heart.


	14. Crescendo

His face but inches away from burning hazel, Justin stood. As still and heavyhearted as any statue guarding a mausoleum. A grave. A tomb. The place he belonged.

Although he was faced with immediate threat, the blond still felt arousal as his eyes traced Brian's form. Nearly nude, clad only in black boxer briefs from slumber. Justin couldn't fathom how such hate could radiate from a man this beautiful. Nevertheless, hatred sang. Loudly. Crescendoing with each ticking heartbeat.

Finally drawing his eyes back to Brian's, the vampire felt his stone posture begin to crack. Too soon he was convinced he'd be only a pile of rubble. Crumbled to dust by the weight of Brian's glare.

His sharp, yet usually gentle features no longer looked aristocratic. Instead his face was frightening, stark. Carved by shadows into a ferocious visage. His posture poised to pounce, the stance of a hunter.

At the first sign of movement in Brian's eyes, Justin's body instinctively moved backwards. Before Justin could even begin to process a thought, Brian spoke.

"You killed Michael." his voice low, did not match his screaming song. The sentence was delivered flat, harsh and to the point.

Point made.

Here it was...the exact moment when the earth ceased to spin. It's screeching halt ostensibly jumbled Justin's equilibrium. The dizzying instant that things went from bad to unbearable. His worse fear had been confirmed.

"I...I...no...I..." so much he wanted to say, needed to tell Brian. So few coherent words emerged. '_What could he say?_' As he began once again to apologize profusely for his unforgivable life, he sank deeper into regret.

Brian stopped the pathetic attempt of sincerity with an abrupt order for Justin to 'Stop talking'.

The blond watched as the brunet stood, yelling through those lips that he had once kissed, pushing him away as if he didn't exist. '_He wished he didn't._'

Brian's droning voice began to fade as Justin was consumed with self loathing. He could no longer meet Brian's eyes. Eyes that were currently fixed on him pointedly.

Brian's knuckles began to ache with their harsh grip coiled around the wood they held. Seeing this man, this _monster_, had halted his original plan to pierce his chest without pause.

The blond's apparent fear and regret played with Brian's head.

He'd expected to find a heartless blond. Expected his 'Sunshine' to cast shadows of darkness as it set on his fair face. Expected the warmth to vanish. The darkness to linger. His stomach tightened, his heart fell. That had not been the case.

He looked now at the same Justin he'd always seen. Though substantially dimmed with sadness, sunlight still radiated from his face.

'_No. He'd heard it. That song._' he reminded the feelings that stirred his thoughts.

"I should have realized it sooner. I heard it. The fucking song that plagues my dreams. Your sonata. I remembered you played it...that night." he poured his realizations towards the blond.

'_Your sonata._' those two words cancelled out all others the brunet had spoken. Though Brian seemed more than convinced that he'd killed his best friend, Justin was suddenly, undoubtedly, as equally as convinced he hadn't. The vampire felt genuinely elated, albeit confused.

"No!" he exclaimed with too much excitement, it startled a still talking Brian. He paused, making eye contact with him.

"It couldn't have been me." as Justin spoke the words, he willed them to be true.

Uncertain as to exactly how he could be so positive with so many of his memories lost; yet he _knew_.

The best, the _only_ way he could explain it was this...

For the better part of a decade his sonata had become a literal part of him. It's notes physically embedded in the soul he no longer had. A sacred piece of himself he'd never shared. If he'd ever performed it, unfinished he knew without a doubt he'd know.

He'd feel it. As sure as the phantom sense of an amputated limb.

Justin had never played his song for anyone except the conflicted man in front of him. A man whose heart beat differently, now that it was broken.

Brian had merged his own shock and knowledge of recent events with the pain of his past. Everything fusing together in one un-nerving nightmare.

Somehow he doubted the Professor would be as convinced.

Searching through thoughts he didn't wish to think, he found the only plausible explanation. '_Brandon._'

His creator must've followed him for longer than Justin had guessed. Eavesdropping on his independence. Cruelly keeping him prisoner even in his freedom.

Over the course of time, Brandon had heard Justin composing. He felt sick at the thought of the other vampire learning his sonata. Playing his notes. Performing his life.

The nausea stirred violently. He was furious.

Just another way the bastard had stripped him of himself. His life's work was now tainted, tarnished by each stroke of the keys under Brandon's fingertips.

Now, more than ever, Justin longed to finish it. To make it once again into something whole, honest, and pure. Three things he himself would never again be.

That was of course, if Brian Kinney didn't stake him first. He faced the man with pleading eyes.

"I didn't play it. It was only for you. Michael's blood rests not on my hands. My creator played my song. It was he who murdered your heart."

The brunet flinched at the sound of his friend's name, but his grip on the wood seemed to soften, his song seemed to ponder acceptance.

Taking advantage of this fleeting flicker of vulnerability, Justin took one. tiny. step. forward. "I promise." he whispered with painful desperation.

The soft moment quickly dispersed with the hardening of Brian's features.

'_Was it true? Justin hadn't killed Mikey? No._' The brunet shook his head curtly, in an attempt to bring his focus back to reality. He found himself desperately wishing the blond's words held truth. That his apology was genuine. His explanation honest.

Of course, he couldn't allow himself to fall for anymore manipulation.

Unsure words trembled from his lips. He hated the noticeability of his ambivalence.

"Promise?" he spat viciously with harsher strength than he felt. "What is that to me? Nothing..." he held Justin's eyes momentarily wanting to embrace them always. "...same as you." he _lied_. The words sliced his ludicrous thought.

Justin could hear the change in his lover's chords.

They both excited and worried him.

So many feelings echoed in the empty hallway.

The glimmer of happy emotions that emerged every so often, made him once again consider compelling the unhappy emotions away. He felt himself start to daydream the impossible.

There were still a plethora of negative notes playing in the brunet. Eying the still gripped splinter, Justin was unworried about his own safety. Brian's beating heart was his only concern.

"I'm afraid. Brandon, my creator, he's in the city." Justin implored, ignoring Brian's ready weapon "I'm frightened for your safety, Please, he knows...I love you. Please, go inside so he cannot..." his beseeching abruptly stopped by yet another drastic change in Kinney's tempo, the man went rigid.

"Safe?" he almost chuckled at the disgusting irony. The sound of 'I love you' on the blond's lips had hit him with a crippling blow to his mind. To his heart.

"The only thing I need protection from is you." his words forced to push from the tight, hard line of his mouth.

At the same time his body pushed the vampire against the wall.

Pushed the stake against his chest.

The wooden shard vibrated beneath his quivering fingers. They apparently were not as intent as the stake was to kill the monster. '_Monster._' the word made him ache. He loathed the conflicted turmoil his body had become. Brian Kinney no longer had full control of his own life. His churning uncertainty held the reigns, guiding him into unknown territory.

The saying was true. He was learning the line between love and hate was indeed thin; maybe even non-existent. He had started to ponder that perhaps you could never really have happiness without an equally weighted sadness to balance it out.

"Do it." Justin's whisper returned him to the moment at hand, he was on the edge of that line. The shaky border separating genuine love and avid hate.

The blond had instructed him to end whatever he'd called life. The very thing he'd intended to do from the moment he broke Michael's guitar. '_Why then, had he hesitated?'_

A gasp/sob hybrid invaded his breath. He locked his eyes with the now eerily calm blue ones across from him. Their diamond shine further intensified the ache of Brian's bones.

Justin's cool, sweet breath assaulted him in wisps of hazy confusion.

"Do it." he repeated, challenge in his voice. "My feelings are real. Yours are real. I want you to pierce my heart if you do not believe me. Without your trust and love, my heart needn't exist." he breathed on the brink of breaking down.

Brian had already lost so much, and though Justin hadn't been responsible for Michael's death; the guilt belonged to him. He had nothing to offer but himself in exchange for some closure. Some retribution, to ease even a portion of Brian's pain.

Justin felt the tears begin to well in his eyes, he tensed. Terrified that their blood tint would repulse Brian even more. To his surprise, Brian's heart jumped only a little, then began to softly sing of joyous intrigue. The human had thought he was beautiful.

Brian stared intently into Justin's eyes as he struggled to hear his words. '_Oh how he wanted to believe them._'

He convinced himself he'd heard sincerity in Justin's voice.

Had convinced himself it matched the sincerity in his heart he was trying unsuccessfully to ignore.

As he continued to study those eyes, he was startled,_ though only just_, as a garnet shimmer graced blue. A mesmerizing violet that Brian had never before seen.

His reaction had thrown him off guard. This unique shade was as astonishing as it was gruesome.

Brian looked deep into those eyes. And then deep within himself.

'_He couldn't do it.' _He wouldn't be the one to erase that color from the world.

He cursed his cowardice.

Though, unsure as to his reasoning , it remained absolute. He knew that if Justin no longer existed, his own existence would begin to fade. Losing this blond would recreate the agony he'd felt with Michael's loss.

An insufferable grip tightened around his stomach. '_Perhaps Brian Kinney did believe in love...doubtlessly, nothing else could hurt like this._'

Justin listened. Everything remained chaos, but something had changed. Something he didn't think too hard about, for he didn't want to jinx any sort of happiness he may find.

He watched Brian's own clear tears dance on the delicate surface of his eyes. He stood, unmoving, viewing his heaven under water. His own piece of promise breaking before him.

Unexpectedly, the brunet tightly gripped the back of his neck. Justin didn't flinch. Whatever Brian had decided, he'd accept without protest.

He felt the warmth of Brian's forehead press harshly against his own.

He closed those glorious eyes for longer than Justin could bear. Not soon enough, they reopened.

Both gazed unblinking with tear filled eyes. Justin tried once more to stifle his optimism.

Brian's eyes were almost crying. Almost smiling. Almost... in love.

"Please." Brian whispered, hating the vulnerability in his voice "Just...go." he finished, but didn't immediately move.

He released the broken neck of the guitar. It fell to the floor in echoed relief.

The tortorous tugging in his tummy was paralyzing. He was relieved when Justin was the first to pull away.

Though he wanted nothing less than to leave this man, he respected his need for space. With Brandon still lurking, and the sun shining high, Justin wasn't going far. Only to the stairwell of the next floor he'd decided.

Wordlessly he turned, away from the only thing he ever wanted to see.

Brian, just as torn, just as silent, returned to his apartment.

Drop for drop, crystal and crimson vigorously rained from blue and hazel skies.


	15. Fragments

**Sunday Afternoon**

* * *

Thick steam hung in the air, a physical manifestation of his clouded mind. The hot shower had barely made a difference.

Brian still felt _too much_. The cascading water unable to rinse any of his thoughts away.

He dried briefly, then wrapped the lush towel around his waist. The soft fabric felt wonderful on his skin. Standing now at the sink, he allowed his hand to wipe away the mirror's fog.

Albeit, he could now see his face; nothing else had become any clearer. He met his own eyes. He stared.

His eyes looked different somehow, yet he couldn't specify the change.

He felt himself getting lost in his gaze. He made no effort to move. Just stared, struggling to recognize the man who stared back.

Longer than a minute, but shorter than a decade later, he blinked.

The faint sound of knocking danced in from the foyer. '_Justin._' was his first thought. He tried hard not to contemplate the pang of happiness that shot through him as he hurriedly dressed.

He scolded his jittery nerves as he pulled open the door. He attempted to ignore the fluttering regret he'd felt when he saw that his guessed guest was not correct.

Before he could so much as utter a syllable, Brian felt a hurricane of movement push past him. It was that kid from Ben's office, and the Professor himself.

"Sorry to barge in on you like this." Ben apologized, sending Hunter a disapproving look. The boy just shrugged and began to set up his laptop on the kitchen counter.

"Won't you come in?" Brian mused dryly.

"There has been another murder." Ben skipped directly to the point.

Brian's stomach flipped. He said nothing.

"It just happened a few hours ago." Ben shook his head, "Another student." he added in a whisper.

'_A few hours?_' Brian's spirits lifted a little. '_Justin had been here all night...hadn't he?_' The man's thoughts were interrupted by Hunter's adrenaline filled voice.

"Wait till' you hear the best part," he looked directly into Brian's eyes.

'_The what?_' Brian's mind spun, '_How could any part of this nightmare be described as 'best'?_' he felt a little dizzy.

"I saw it. I saw _him_."

OK, now Brian was really confused. "Saw?" he plucked the word from the boy's mouth.

Hunter nodded. Ben, like Brian, waited for continuance.

"I was gathering my gear. Halfway into Columbus Circle, I went to get my camera. At first I didn't see anything, not even through the camera's night vision. But then I looked up and I saw him." he confirmed.

The student continued describing his initial shock, and then his determination. The kid's voice never faltered as he described the macabre scene and his call to the police. Brian wasn't sure if Hunter was really brave, or completely crazy.

Slightly terrified, but more intrigued, Brian positioned himself on the kitchen stool next to the kid. '_He'd _seen_ him._'

This was his chance to separate truth from reality. Monsters from heroes.

If Justin really had been telling the truth about his 'Creator' then that would mean...Well, he wasn't exactly sure. He did know however that whatever-the-fuck it meant, it was going to cause him further confusion. On that, his swirling brain and his bruised heart could agree. He looked sideways at Hunter.

"What did he look like?" he asked hushed.

"He was pretty gorgeous actually," he began only to be interrupted by Ben.

"All Immortals have an almost intoxicating air about them. To humans, they're all gorgeous." Ben looked extremely excited that he was receiving validation for his life's work.

Hunter just looked irritated at the Professor's interruption. "Anyway..." he drawled out and focused back on Brian. "Dark blond hair, shoulder length, light eyes, green. I think, and tall. Taller than you." he gestured toward a standing Ben.

Brian was hit with a new set of worries. '_So it seemed Justin hadn't rampaged Central Park last night_.' The only concrete similarity in Hunter's description was 'gorgeous'. '_Did this too, mean he hadn't killed his roommate?_' He closed his eyes and pictured the violet ones that would now remain forever etched there.

The eyes were beautiful. Sorrowful. Apologetic. They were not the eyes of a heartless killer.

'_Why then, had Ethan said Justin's name in his last breath?_' He groaned a little before opening his eyes. He was greeted with waiting ones. He cleared his throat.

"So, does that sound like your Bloodsucker?" Hunter asked bluntly.

Brian flinched. A tad concerned that it hadn't been the word 'bloodsucker', rather the word 'your' that affected him so.

He managed a head shake.

"It's not, Justin." his voice broke on his name. Hunter didn't notice. Ben did.

He walked over and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. Brian didn't acknowledge the gesture.

He continued to tell the other two men about Justin's earlier visit. Told them about his creator, and they'd deduced that Brandon was undeniably the one to worry about. He told them that he suspected the blond was still nearby, about his fear for Brian's life.

He _hadn't _told them how his heart was relentlessly making him feel afraid for Justin's. Ben had heard that knowledge regardless.

"Listen Brian, if Justin is genuinely worried for you, maybe you should believe him. He's obviously willing to risk everything to protect you. Perhaps it's time to _trust_." he finished, wincing a little in preparation for his friend's blow-back.

It never came.

Dumbfounded by Brian's silence, Ben decided to further provoke his luck. "Where is he now? I think we should talk to him. Maybe...Maybe he can help." To his immense surprise, Brian stood and simply nodded on his way to the door._' Ben was very nearly never wrong. Perhaps he, they needed Justin.'_

All three jumped a little when he pulled open the door.

A tight little blond body jumped too.

"I heard." Justin said, just inches from the door. '_Of course._' Brian thought.

He was unprepared for the relief he felt that Justin was here, safe.

"So is this Dracula?" Hunter mused warranting a disapproving look from three sets of eyes. "He's tiny! Looks harmless enough, I'm Hunter." he said and offered the vampire his hand.

'_Without a doubt completely crazy._' Brian silently confirmed.

_'This human was strange.'_ Justin thought, shaking his hand. Though he had to admit, it was a relief that neither of Brian's guests sounded frightened. More importantly, Kinney's own song echoed only faintly of fear.

Justin wanted nothing more than to pull Brian close, kiss his soft lips, and shelter him from every danger in the world. Wanted to touch those glorious eyelashes. Wanted to get lost in the eyes they too often hid. He did nothing.

"Professor Ben Bruckner." he introduced himself, stepping into the hallway. "So, you've heard us talking. Did you catch everything?"

"Mostly." the blond responded. "Who was...killed?" he swallowed. '_Please not Daphne._' he thought abruptly.

"I didn't know the guy." Hunter said casually "But it seems your bat buddy is reeking havoc on our fair city." he almost joked.

Justin had never met such instantly accepting mortals before. He ached at the thought. The only man's acceptance he craved was still, silently watching him. Justin tried with tremendous effort not to melt under the heated stare. Already his insides were beginning to spread their warmth through his frozen body.

"The other kid, the Violinist..." Ben began, Justin however started to zone out.

A picture exposed itself in his mind. It was significantly out of focus. Suddenly it cleared. His hands felt the remembered warmth of Ethan's blood. His eyes remembered Ethan's pain filled expression. He was still hopeless, and utterly confused about Ethan's death.

He didn't know what words to offer the men, "I..." he stammered, praying to his abandoned God, that a sentence would form. Thankfully, Hunter intervened.

"Let's show him." the student offered.

Justin watched as Ben asked Brian for permission without words. The brunet nodded his agreement.

Brian caught a glimpse of Hunter's movement, '_The kid was seconds from inviting the vampire inside._' "He can watch it from there." the brunet stated firmly.

Hunter brought the laptop to the door. Brian followed. From the hall, blue eyes watched.

Several feelings infected Justin at once. An emotional disease that ran rampant within. The symptoms were terror, worry, and an aching remorse.

He placed fully the blame of Ethan's death on his shoulders. As he watched the haunting video, the vampire was able to place several pieces into his puzzling past.

That night returned to him in fractured flashes...

_After his date with Brian, he'd gone upstairs. He'd met Brandon's malicious eyes._

His head throbbed now as he forced himself to remember everything he could. Closing his eyes to gain better access to his locked mind, Justin began to describe to the three men what he was seeing.

_Yes, he'd seen Brandon, and had become overwhelmed with sickness. He'd begun to lose consciousness_.

He shuddered now as he remembered Brandon's repulsive touch on his skin. The muddled memories grew harder to tread through.

_He could recall being carried to his bed, felt nauseous now as he was fairly certain his creator had stolen a kiss. Stolen. Yes. He remembered a distinct tug at his collar. Brandon had stolen his locket_.

More hazy minutes clouded his mind.

_The next lucid vision he saw was himself stumble toward Daphne in their kitchen. "What are you doing out of bed? You don't look well." her voice echoed. _

_"Brandon." Justin heard his past voice say. "Where is he?"_

_ "Ethan came in, playing very concerned boyfriend. Brandon took him for a drink to calm him down." Daphne informed. _

_"A drink." he'd repeated knowing full well it's true meaning. Still groggy, he then dizzily hurried to the elevator. Worry rising as he descended._ 'What if he was too late?'

_T__he next scene of retelling, Justin found himself outside of the Rose building. Brandon was dragging a terrified, innocent Ethan toward the alley. Next, he kissed the slender boy's neck. No. Not kissing, biting. Justin stood helpless as Ethan's frail frame was powerless to fight back._

_ He called out for help. His scream muted by Brandon's deepening pierce. "Nice to have you join us Justin," that horrendous voice cooed._

A sharp pain slivered through the blond, both in his memory and in Brian's hallway.

_He remembered begging, pleading with the ruthless monster to stop. To release the brunet. To take him in his place. _

_"My dear boy," his creator began, releasing Ethan, who fell to the ground. His eyes firmly set on his creator's, Justin rushed to Ethan's aide. He knelt beside him, using the cloth of his own shirt to apply pressure to the wound. _

_At the time, he'd had no desire to do anything with the student's blood, besides stop the loss. The boy's life was rapidly escaping into the night. A thick garnet pool caressed the cement._

_ Brandon chuckled as Justin applied pressure with frenzied hands. The laughter touched the blond's bones. "Still a bleeding heart I see. Always desperate to play hero." Brandon clicked his tongue and looked at his nails as if from boredom. _

_Breaking his gaze, Justin glanced back towards the bleeding boy. Whose brown eyes now widened in recognition. "Justin." he barely breathed. _

_Momentarily stunned as heard Ethan's song reach an end; he simply nodded. He heard the exact moment death had come. He frantically called 911 then tenderly close Ethan's eyelids. "I'm sorry." the blond whispered before standing to quite literally face his past demon._

_ "Touching." Brandon's ominous voice contained threat. "I knew you could not change your ways. Building friendships with these inferior humans." he spit out the bitter words. _

_Anger consumed Justin's every inch, still as stone he watched his creator draw nearer. _

_He did not flinch when slithering fingers traced his jawline. _

_''No match for me," he whispered, "filled to the brim." Thin, bloodless lips slowly pulled back into an arctic smile. "Time for bed." _

_Ice frosted the surface of Justin's mind. He felt very ill, disoriented. He swallowed the scream in his throat as Brandon's eyes demanded the attention of his own. _

_He'd known the man was going to compel him, and he had. _

_The next memory he had was awakening in his room the following morning; his hand forever stained with Ethan's blood._

Justin withdrew himself from his memory and returned to the present.

He had been relieved to learn, he had not killed Ethan Gold. However, only just. As far as Justin was concerned he was just as responsible as Brandon.

He had only murdered the musician because he had mattered a bit in Justin's life. Brandon knew the blond's weakness for the human heart, real emotions. Knowing too, the way to hurt Justin Taylor the most, is to hurt the ones he cared for.

Daphne's face flashed briefly in his mind. '_He had to check on her.'_ And Brian...the picture his creator had left... _'No.'_ he firmly declared to his worry, _'I won't let any harm come to him.'_

Nevertheless, Brandon _would_ come here soon enough, of this he was certain.

As if reading his thoughts, Professor Bruckner asked what he'd been about to answer. "What did he mean you're no match? How can he compel you? I thought vampires couldn't be controlled."

"He's feeding. The fuller a vampire is, of fresh blood, the stronger they become. Brandon's as greedy as he is heartless. A satiated vampire has the strength of ten." At his own statement, Justin realized he himself hadn't taken a drink for two days. He wasn't drastically hungry, but he was feeling weaker by the second. He'd been so focused on Brian's needs that he hadn't given a thought to his own._ 'He didn't matter. Only Brian.'_

"I haven't tasted blood in several days. He knows I only drink the minimum for survival and never solely for pleasure."

"That's very considerate of you." Hunter casually chimed in. No-one able to determine if his words had contained sarcasm or simply fact.

Justin was unable to stop the small smile from reaching Hunter, who smiled back. The vampire focused back on Ben. He was very much aware that Brian hadn't said a word since before he watched the tape; but he tried hard not to agonize over what the man was thinking.

He addressed Ben, "Only one's creator may have the power to compel those born to him. If you have an object meaningful to you in life..." he chose his next words carefully, "when you turn, that object becomes your token. A small piece of your soul. A sliver of your humanity. However, if you become separated from your token, you are unable to resist mind control from your creator."

"Fucking sweet! Do you have one? Let's see it!" Hunter exclaimed entirely too excited given the subject matter.

Justin lowered his head. "I did," he whispered, feeling once again hopelessly lost "my mother's locket." At these words he finally chose to find Brian's eyes, which surprisingly were looking at him with an almost sad like glint. He recalled Brian asking about his locket in the park. '_Oh what a difference a day can make.'_ he thought somberly.

"Brandon has it. He ripped it from my neck right before..." 'Ethan's death' was heard without speech. "He went after Ethan only because the kid cared about me. I'm worried for you." he addressed Brian directly.

The man didn't move. He instead remained intently focused on Justin.

"When I awakened that morning, I found a picture of you. He's coming here, he knows the depths of my feelings for you." Brian shifted in obvious discomfort of the blond's declaration but he didn't say anything.

"He's getting stronger, I won't let anything happen to you." he promised. Justin ached everywhere when he thought about Brian at the mercy of his cruel creator. The deadly vampire was draining the life of those in Justin's heart.

Once more Daphne came to his mind. "Daphne!" he said suddenly, eliciting a small jump from Hunter. "My roommate, he was using her, I have to check on her." he rambled rapidly. Absentmindedly, thoughts only on his beautiful friend's safety, the blond started toward the stairs.

"Whoa there," Ben's voice and strong arm halted him. Justin looked at the man in confusion. "No offense, " he said "but you've just told us that there's a ruthless murderer out there that can compel you to kill. I don't think I need to state the obvious here, but I'm going to anyway...we don't want two ravenous killers savagely stalking the streets." he placed his hand softly on Justin's shoulder. Both parties intrigued by the casual touch of a man and beast. It was endearing, even friendly. "Also, you said it yourself, you haven't fed in days. You're too weak. I'll go check on the girl." Bruckner offered.

Justin sighed "I can't let you do that. I won't keep putting innocent people in harm's way. This is my problem." Justin turned quickly to leave, his malnourished body catching up with him. He dizzied, fumbled, almost losing his balance.

As he stumbled, Brian's arms instinctively rushed to prevent him from falling.

For a split second, their gazes locked.

Brian's thoughts were battling themselves. _'Why did he feel so protective over Justin?'_

He felt incredible relief in learning that Justin hadn't killed Ethan. Some of the tremendous pressure crushing his reality eased. Although, now he had an entirely new set of worries. Namely, this powerful predator out for his blood. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he did indeed feel safer with Justin here. '_He figured it was only a matter of time before he caught some of Hunter's crazy.'_ Clearly, insanity was the only viable reason for his intense urge to pull the blond close.

Even after all he'd learned and all he'd soon face, he_ wanted him._

He tried to shake the feeling away. It didn't budge.

"You're weak." Ben acknowledged "You need blood." he said ridiculously casual.

Justin's eyes widened as he watched the man begin to remove his coat. "What are you doing?" the vampire asked through trembling lips.

Ben just shook his hand towards the blond as if to say _'What does it look like? Don't ask questions, I'm doing this.'_ "I must tell you though," The Professor's voice lowered a little "I'm HIV positive. Will that effect you?"

Now it was Brian's turn for disbelief, his mouth gaped slightly. "Ben," he began soon to be stopped by Ben's voice. "No, relax Kinney. He needs this. It will help."

Ben felt an indescribable trust with this blond, this _vampire_. _'He'd never get used to that.'_ He could see the intense pull between Justin and his friend. If he could so easily see their connection from the outside looking in; he couldn't imagine the strength of the attraction inside both men. Justin was worried for Brian's life, now too was he. Ben knew the blond needed strength to protect Brian. _He_ would be that strength. End of discussion.

Justin grudgingly accepted what was offered, meeting Ben with grateful eyes. "No, tainted blood will do no harm. It will only weaken the effects of compelling. Actually, this is a good thing, if you insist on going to Daphne, and he's there; his power will not subdue you for long."

Everyone seemed to like this newfound information. It slightly lessened the fear, lowered the risk.

"Ready?" Justin asked, positioning himself in front of Ben. Ben nodded once. "Keep eye contact with me, I will make you feel no pain." he did, he too consumed the much needed rejuvenating liquid.

Hunter watched this display in half intrigue, half disgust.

Brian watched with soft awe and unyielding wonder.

He was amazed at the sight, at the gentleness of which Justin treated Ben. The compassion consuming the act. It was not as he'd expected. Certainly it was not at all the savageness that had killed Michael. In this moment of enlightenment, Brian saw a flicker of Justin's humanity. There was no monster here.

Brian hardly caught any of the other men's conversation.

Ben and Hunter were going to Daphne, hopefully they wouldn't scare the poor girl unnecessarily. Justin had said the girl was open-minded, but exactly _how_ open was up for debate. Best case scenario they'd say they're friends of Justin's just stopping by, then wait for his arrival that would never come.

As long as she was safe. As long as Justin was here.

_'Ugh.' _Brian mentally groaned. The very last thing he should be focused on was Justin. '_The fucking focal point of his existence._'

As Ben and Hunter said goodbye, Brian wished them luck. After a brief but meaningful hug, Ben's voice whispered into Brian's ear. "Be careful. Let Justin protect you. Though I don't know how useful he'll be in the hall." He almost laughed. With one last pat on his friend's back, Professor Bruckner continued, "It's up to you to invite him in...or not."

With that, the two knights departed for the damsel in distress. Leaving Prince Charming and the Vampire in a familiar scene. Alone in the hall, face to face.

_'Was he going to do this? Was he going to invite him in?_'

Brian's heart raced.

Justin's stayed still.


	16. Reflection

Deepening blue oceans met Brian's eyes. They appeared endless. Familiar and unfamiliar waves continuously crashed within them. He could instantly see that Justin was solely leaving this up to him.

Would he just wade here a bit on the shoreline or would he dive straight into these tumultuous waters?

_'Dive.'_ he decided.

He swallowed any nerves in his throat, and took a step to the left. Unveiling plenty of access for Justin to enter.

His apartment. His life. His _everything_.

A fierce bolt of uncertain lightening struck his veins. It's sheer intensity turning his heart to glass like sand. It was preparing to shatter at any moment.

He hadn't enough strength to stop it.

He wasn't sure he wanted to.

_'There was no turning back.'_

"Would you please come inside?" he asked, averting his gaze from the blond's. He wasn't fully aware of his own reasoning for this. His best guess was that his eyes would reveal too much of what he wasn't ready for Justin to see.

In a century of moments, not a one had compared to this. Listening to Brian's song long before he'd spoken words; the blond had heard so much.

The intrusive walls around the brunet were steadily collapsing. Justin's insistence had been the hammer. Chipping away at the hardened layer protecting his heart.

The heart that love forgot.

Piece by jagged piece. Soon, fossilized truth would be revealed.

Brian was bordering on 'acceptance' and it sounded glorious. To his immense relief, love too still sang.

As he entered the apartment, his eyes first saw the broken guitar that sprinkled the hardwood floor. Next, the covered piano which sat in the far end of the living room.

He saddened as he remembered Brian's tale about Michael. About his own shattered hand and dreams.

An angry guilt boiled within. He stilled and closed his eyes for a second to let it pass. It didn't.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted by Brian's own looking at him quizzically. No doubt trying to determine the reason for his sudden pause.

Uncharacteristically shy, Justin looked away. "I'm sorry." he said.

Brian said nothing.

"For," blue eyes swept once again over the broken instrument. A perfect representation of their broken relationship. "For, _too much_." he finished.

Although Brian didn't immediately respond, he did inch closer to Justin in slow motioned, miniscule steps. Tiny steps toward a monumental destination. Toward belief. Toward forgiveness.

It was completely unnecessary, yet the vampire couldn't help but hold his 'breath' as the man approached. A vibrato of nervousness struck all chords surging through Brian.

Justin too, was feeling anxious. Brian's opinions and assessment of their most unique situation was changing by the second. Oddly enough, the more pleasant they became, the more nervous both men got about what to do next.

He felt Brian's eyes on him and swallowed heavily at the flicker of lust present in both hazel and heart.

_'He wanted, needed to feel Brian's touch_.' In a manner so severe he felt the very fate of the world depended on it.

But he wouldn't initiate anything. Any and all interactions from here on out had to be Brian's decision. The Professor needed to know he was in control. In control of his thoughts, his feelings, and Justin's as well.

Whatever Brian felt Justin did or did not deserve from him would be fair. Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor's judge, jury and executioner. The blond knew unmistakably that if the brunet chose to give up on them, he'd wish for a death sentence. Said executioner now stood but inches from him.

Definitely still nervous. Definitely still in love.

Justin took a chance.

He watched Brian's eyes, watch his fingers arrive at his face. Justin paused for permission to feel his silken flesh. "Is this OK?" he whispered faintly.

Color flooded Brian's face, he closed his eyes but remained voiceless.

As gingerly as he could, the blond's feathering fingers found love's face.

An uncontrollable shudder found both bodies.

This whisper of a caress awakened dormant desire.

Brian leaned into Justin's touch. Savoring every sensation. The blond's fingertips like velvet, ignited the flame of his heated pulse. Blood flowed in every direction, relentless in his need for this blond. In pursuit of possession.

With an unsteady hand he mirrored Justin's movement. Gently he traced the blond's jawline, then every line of his face.

_'He really was the most beautifully crafted contradiction_.' Much closer to heaven than below.

Justin licked his lips and Brian's own screamed for his taste. He was unsure how to answer them.

Never before had he experienced such anxiety with physical contact. If being honest, he'd admit it was not the physical part where his worry had been placed.

Justin, sensing both Brian's apprehension and his want, met his eyes.

He stepped closer. Their chest's quickly kissed.

His slender arms softly snaked up Brian's own. Hands resting on the taller man's shoulders. "and this?" he asked a statuesque brunet. Barely a nod of permission. It was enough.

Their desire for one another hung heavy in the air. An almost actual cloud of craving.

"Are you scared?" Justin asked, expecting Brave Brian's inevitable 'no'. To both of their surprise, his voice answered honestly.

"Yes." he said quickly.

Justin leaned in even closer, the top of his hair lightly brushed Brian's face. "Because of what I am?" he whispered.

Brian shook his head 'no'. His heart rate raced.

''Because of _who_." he rasped, and not trusting his own voice said nothing else.

He had just admitted he was afraid of his feelings for Justin. Afraid of their depth and overwhelming intensity. He had used far less words, but the message was there. He knew Justin had heard it.

Justin had intended to give Brian space, breathing room.

The brunet had different ideas.

He looked at him now through burning hazel that yearned to be seen. Truly_ seen. _Past their amber color into the vulnerability that lie beyond their surface.

He could hear too the things Brian himself may not even be aware of.

Though most of his notes played beautiful, it remained disharmonious.

Confusion still had the loudest singing voice. All the blond could hear was Brian's struggle.

He once again felt useless. Unable to erase all doubt. To restore the man's life back to it's original order. To extinguish all flames of regret and sadness. Guilt for the chaos he'd thrust Brian into, made him break eye contact, and glance downward.

"I'm sorry." Justin sighed, _yet again_, even though nothing would ever be enough of an apology for all he'd caused.

He felt Brian's hand lightly brush a rogue lock of hair from his face. It felt too good to explain. Felt even better armed with the truth that the Professor had still wanted to touch him.

"It's not your fault." Brian said softly. He loathed that Justin kept bearing the blame. Brandon was the only one at fault.

The brunet couldn't help feeling that Justin too was victim not predator. As he looked now at the remorse in Justin's body language, he felt the desire to protect him.

Vampire or no, this man was a strong person. Yet at this moment, he looked broken, even frail. His smooth porcelain skin threatening to crack.

"I've killed before." Justin confessed quietly.

The words hit Brian with less force than he'd have guessed.

As much as he'd have taken comfort in learning Justin had always been this innocent, he wasn't naive. Nevertheless, his remorse was present now, and the deep regret clouding his blue eyes was genuine.

"I don't deserve your concern." the blond's soft voice stated and turned away from Brian. Returning the distance between them.

He faced now, a large mirror on the wall above the cream leather chair.

Only one man stood within it.

Brian's eyes widened in childlike intrigue as he looked at himself. Alone.

Regardless of the fact that the beautiful Justin Taylor stood but a foot before him; he didn't dwell within the mirror.

Justin noticed Brian's stare, and without turning around, keeping his gaze on the brunet behind him, he sighed. "I had a reflection," he announced, melancholy rich in his voice. "once upon a time."

He approached the mirror and traced his fingers along it's surface where his hand should have been. "With my kind," he began "this is a literal reflection of one's self. Portraying your soul as you choose to see it. When my hands remained free of blood, I saw myself. For years I felt happy. Content." a light chuckle, "In _love_." he spat out the bitter word. "Then I had foolishly believed I still had at least a portion of my soul." He stopped briefly and closed his eyes.

He broke the dam of his mind wide open. Painful memories poured from his lips. With crashing force, they flooded Brian's ears.

He listened as Justin retold his life story. Beginning with Brandon's lies and empty promises. Brian felt tears of his own begin to well in his eyes at the mere sight of liquid violet in Justin's.

The blond was talking now about the lives he'd been forced to take. His voice breaking as he called himself a monster, and told Brian that he couldn't even remember the killings. Worse yet, was unable to make amends with their families, or himself.

Brian watched the man's past through borrowed eyes, seeing the things he'd seen. It wasn't pretty. An unfathomable hell, in which this angel did not belong.

This blond exuded self loathing like the soft glow of a street lamp. A heavy beam to pierce the dark. A darkness in which Justin's mind now seemed to live.

With each new memory, Brian's sympathy escalated. Though he was not sure how, he felt more sympathetic for Justin at the moment than for those lives he'd taken. For _that_, certainly the blond held enough grief and remorse ten fold.

Everyone has a list of regrets. Some longer than others. Brian's longer than most.

If he was being honest with himself, if this mirror business worked the same for humans, he himself probably would have no reflection.

Looking now at a withered version of Justin Taylor, Brian's heart ached a little.

The beautifully broken blond was visual proof of the horrendous act of mind control. The cataclysmic aftermath of stealing one's moments. Manipulating feelings and free will.

The amount of hurt that surrounded Justin now, confirmed what he'd always known, but hadn't yet admitted._ 'Justin had never compelled him.'_

All of his emotions, his thoughts, belonged solely to him. Here he was now, frenzied feelings still firmly in place even after everything he'd heard. He briefly thought about the 'merging' Ben had mentioned. Next time he saw the man (if he lived long enough) he'd confirm it's existence.

The vampire continued to diminish his self worth. It angered Brian, _'How could he not know what he was worth, especially to him?_'

Brian was amazed with himself for how openly he'd decided to accept Justin.

Just. As. He. Was.

He'd swallowed the truth in one believing gulp. Ingesting inexplicable shards of the impossible.

_'If monsters weren't a myth...Perhaps, neither was love.'_

Brian stepped forward and placed his trembling hand on Justin's shoulders. Still facing the mirror, it was a strange sight, seeing only himself.

Justin jumped, startled as his eyes had been closed. He listened to Brian's song. It played the perfect balance of acceptance and love. He had never sounded sweeter.

The vampire tried not to appear too overly eager or giddy. If Brian knew that Justin was able to determine his feelings without words; he would shut down. Buckle under the pressure of being too exposed.

Oh how he wished to see himself in the mirror once again. He remembered the flicker in his dorm, in the pond at the park. He'd known then that Brian and he were merging. That his lifeless heart was beginning to reanimate. Then, Brian's anger and rejection had left him once again invisible to glass.

A strong grip spun him around, bringing him face to face with the man that meant _too much_.

Brian deserved better than him. He didn't deserve Brian.

Gentle golden fingers felt his face again, lifting his chin, locking their eyes. "I'm sorry." Brian said.

_'Sorry? Him?' _"You? You've nothing to apologize for." the blond said a little too loudly. "I'm the monster."

A small grin made a brief cameo appearance on Brian's mouth. "That's not what I mean." he said, noticeably steadying his posture and voice. "I'm sorry you can't see yourself how you truly are." he explained.

Justin felt it become increasingly difficult to keep eye contact. He glanced down. Instantly, Brian's soft touch lifted his face again.

"Justin," he said, name full of love, "look at me." He did as he was told.

"See yourself reflected in my eyes the way that I..." he choked the word. "look at you. _See _you." he finished, laying it all out there. Lesbionic or not, all of his cards lay face up on the table. Now all Justin had to do was pick them up.

This declaration only complicated Justin more. Left him in complete disbelief at this turn of events. It had been much easier when the brunet had hated him. Now, filled with love, Justin only hurt further.

Though he selfishly yearned to keep Brian for eternity, he knew it couldn't be so. Brian must remain unchanged. Must live his destined life. Must play his beautiful song.

"No. You deserve so much. Anything. _Everything_." Justin sounded defeated.

"I don't want everything. Just you." Brian's mouth uttered quicker than his brain had processed the words.

They both stood for several seconds in stunned silence, shocked by the vulnerability and honesty of the moment.

Brian hadn't regretted saying these words. In fact, he wished he could have said more. For the first time in his life his head and his heart were in agreement. _'This was right.'_

He was unsure if he was pouring his heart out because he may soon be murdered; or just because he was goddamn tired of being unhappy. It didn't matter. Happiness was but one of the endless things Justin Taylor had given him.

Brian immersed himself in these positive feelings and Justin immersed himself in their sound. They fell into a kiss. Effortlessly, they immersed in each other.

Both mouths began frantically searching for a treasure worth far more than they'd ever dreamed. The invaluable richness of true love.

It was easily found.

Unearthing more desired gems of pleasure as they explored further. Equally eager hands joined the expedition, discovering new places to touch with each passing second.

Brian's tongue pressed into Justin's with dominant force.

The blond angled his head to allow him to fully take control. To consume him whole if he were to so choose.

Justin's taste had quickly become Brian's favorite flavor. An intoxicating sweetness. He was surprised to find no remnants of blood. It was pure, cool, crisp. Deliciously decadent.

The blond could say the same about Brian. The spice of acceptance seasoned this kiss beyond anything he'd ever tasted.

The sweetest treat. The finest wine.

Though his taste was nothing compared to his scent.

Yet his scent was untraceable in lieu of his song.

The music he played was a masterpiece worthy of God's ears. He challenged the angels to sing as sweet.

Justin suddenly felt himself being lifted. Understanding Brian's intentions, he used his strength to push upwards. He wrapped his legs tightly around his waist. The brunet's hands firmly cupped the bottom of his ass.

The roughness sent an excited gasp into the room, from both of them.

Justin began to nuzzle at Brian's neck. His tantalizing scent alerted the monster. The steady pulse beneath that throat called out to him. With grand effort, he was able to withdraw, but not without a gratuitous lick along Brian's neck.

"Easy with the love bites Sunshine." Brian said in jest. Justin however failed to find the humor. "Then again, I could be twenty-nine for an eternity. Forever young like James Dean." the Professor continued through a low purr muffled in blond hair.

_'How could he dare joke of this?_' Justin was startled and significantly thrown.

"Don't say..." his words were cut short by Brian's persistent lips.

Within seconds, he was thrown to the bed with forceful determination.

He hurriedly began shedding his clothes, shirt first. Brian did the same.

Something like a growl rose from Brian's throat. A feral sound that no doubt had originated in his loins.

A frenzied glint flickered in his eyes like flames. Justin was more than willing to play the role of moth. Undeniably attracted to the burning fire roasting his flesh.

Brian joined him on the bed. His silken fingertips resumed dragging fire along the ice of Justin's skin. Both men shivered, though not from cold.

The touches now seemed exceedingly sensitive. Both men concluding that everything felt closer without walls blocking the touch. All barriers had fallen.

It was just the two of them.

Raw. Achingly exposed.

_'Deliciously pale flesh bathed in soft light. Slender limbs tangled within blue satin sheets.__ The stark contrast in skin tones, further highlighted by Brian's glistening sweat.'_

Justin broke away pulling back to catch Brian's gaze. Silently, they confirmed their shared vision.

Impossibly, their connection deepened as did their tongues.

Heavy moans swirled in the caverns of their mouths. Pleasure echoed within.

Justin could have kissed him forever. Unfortunately Brian needed breath.

Irritated at the intrusive need, Brian pulled free from that now swollen pout. Both of them rolled over onto their backs.

Brian felt Justin's slender fingers tangle within his own.

Hands clasped. Eyelids fell.

This was where they belonged.

It was here they'd wished to remain indefinitely. And for one comfortable moment they _did_, wrapped in the blanket of unending time.

Unfortunately, as expected, even forever had an end.

Justin felt dizzy. A different kind of dizzy than euphorically lightheaded caused by theses kisses. He sat straight up.

Brian examined the blond's face but was unable to read it.

"He's here." Justin announced, quickly pulling his shirt on over his head and stood up.

Brian rushed to do the same.

"No." Justin demanded in a stern voice Brian hadn't yet heard him use. "You're staying inside. Brandon can't come in, I need you safe."

"Same to you." Brian admitted quietly.

Justin made his way to where the man now stood. "Brian, he literally has forever to wait. I have to face him. Now. _Alone_." You didn't have to hear his feelings to know he was angry, worried yet a little relieved.

In actuality as much as he didn't want Justin to face Brandon, he wanted even less to have his ass eaten (if not in a positive life affirming way). He knew there was no point in arguing with the blond. He gave a swift nod of his head.

Justin instantly eased with Brian safe, he'd have one less thing to worry about. He gave Brian one (hopefully not last) long, sensual kiss. Trying to fill the brunet with contentment and promise. "I'll be alright. I love you." Justin said.

Brian said nothing.

By his estimation, he'd already opened up enough to last a lifetime; which right now may not be all too long.

He felt anxious and fucking terrified as he watched Justin approach the door. Toward his inevitable confrontation with his creator.

Both men gulped heavily. Justin stepped outside.

Brian knew not where to look, he closed his eyes.

He envisioned that smile, those eyes.

Glorious sunshine amidst brilliant blue.

For one of the very few times in his life, Brian Kinney prayed.

Hoping upon hope that his personal sun would not set tonight.


	17. Reacquainted

**Late Sunday Evening**

* * *

Stepping into the hallway, Justin's joints screamed, resisted. His muscles seemed to be in agreement with his suddenly hallowed shivering bones.

Even as his body protested, Justin's mind still guided him. His determination and desire to end this walked ahead of his common sense.

Almost immediately he heard his creator's horridly dry laugh. A new revolting tremor seized him as he recalled how he'd once found that sound enchanting. _'He'd been a fool'._ For surely no intelligent man could've mistaken this laugh as anything but what it was... a smug, breathy escape of disgusting arrogance.

"Ah, my love." Brandon greeted.

The miniscule remnants of Ben's blood churned in Justin's stomach. Physically and metaphorically swallowing his hesitance, Justin met Brandon's eyes.

He was not about to let this man get to him.

He was far from the frightened, weakling this monster had made. Justin was alive again, had a purpose, a heart. A beautiful heart safely tucked away behind Brian's bronzed chest.

Gazing into green eyes made Justin's own wish to close. Within them he saw nothing like the warmth he loved in hazel. In fact, he saw nothing but coldness. He almost saw nothing at all.

The vast emptiness had him yearning now for Brian's stare. It's endless depth, hazel's inexplicable beauty. _'Soon. He'd see those eyes again.'_ he promised himself, then returned his attention to his creator.

"My boy." Brandon cooed, his voice like grated steel.

Justin had grown so used to the glorious music of Brian's heart, that Brandon's rasp assaulted his ears.

"Never since you, have I found another as perfect." Brandon said in a whisper, frighteningly resembling sincerity.

Then and there Justin decided _'If going with him would ensure Brian be left alone, alive...there were no options.'_ He swallowed hard when he felt icy fingertips brush his neck. Justin's flesh crawled on his bones.

"I had a companion for a while. He was as curious and power hungry as I was. I quite liked a bit of competition." he paused and leaned closer to Justin "It made for exciting fierceness in the bedroom." he purred.

The blond's nausea resurfaced.

"But," Brandon continued, removing his touch and turning to slowly pace the hall. Justin's face was relieved at those fingers' departure. "The naive imbecile went and got himself staked. He never could grasp the careless impulsiveness of man." The vampire smacked his lips together and shook his head. "Reckless creature."

Again, creator drew close to creation. "Not like you. Genius, Beauty and a talent to rival no ones."

Compliments from Brandon's lips had not the desired effect. Instead of building confidence, Justin suddenly longed to fade away.

"I went to Hollywood, though I learned their brightest star had moved to a better galaxy. So, when I heard the Big Apple's Prodigal Son had returned," he cocked his head and half smiled "I of course just had to drop by and catch up."

"You shouldn't have." Justin replied dryly.

Brandon laughed. Justin was profusely convinced that Satan's voice wouldn't sound as menacing. Pure evil lie irrevocably infused to the deepest roots of Brandon's existence. An existence as distant, dark, and terrifying as any hell was capable.

The delicate features Brandon had expected to find, rested harshly on Justin's face. Though still as breathtaking as ever, the blond's hardened defiance changed him. Not necessarily for the worse, Brandon decided.

In fact, stronger will meant stronger resistance, which for him meant twice the fun of the hunt...thrice the excitement of capture. And capture he would.

He'd allowed Justin to get this silly human out of his system. Enabled him to play make-believe while he frivolously sampled the flavors of New Yorkers. Now, it was time to collect. To once again retrieve what rightfully belonged to him. His most magnificent creation to date.

"I believe I've met my quota for kindness. I've let you spend more time with that mortal than I could stomach." he informed the other man who went rigid at his touch. A reaction that enticed the deviant in him. Nothing pleased Brandon more than reinforcing his dominance, maintaining control.

"Kind?" Justin challenged bewildered through clenched teeth. "You're nothing of the sort; you're a monster."

"A monster?" Brandon exclaimed in mock surprise "Well then, what do we suppose that makes you?" he brought his eyes to Justin's.

"I'd tell you to take a look in the mirror..." he smiled widely "But, of course we both know what you'd find, or rather what you wouldn't. Now," Brandon continued eerily calm "why don't you climb down off that pedestal before you hurt yourself."

The man's condescending tone infuriated Justin further. So angry in fact he hadn't even acknowledged the gesture when Brandon took his hands into his own.

"These adorable hands," Brandon started, pausing a moment to kiss each one, "are not as clean of blood as you pretend; you fool not even yourself."

Momentarily ashamed not only of the truth behind Brandon's words, but too embarrassed that he had allowed the bastard to humiliate him. Even before an audience of no one, Justin felt over exposed, the heated spotlight revealing the cracks in his act.

Brandon was right. '_How was he any less evil?'_ Still he had killed. Still he knew intimately the taste of blood and song of fear.

For the first time since he'd confronted Brandon tonight, Justin dropped his eyes. Mimicking his head, that now too faced the ground.

All of the strength he'd embraced before, had vanished. Too quickly, the blond felt himself giving up, growing weak, giving in.

Brandon stood, eyes fixed on Justin's form. A form he knew so well, yet one he no longer really knew at all.

A heightened intrigue peaked within, as he contemplated the full intimate reintroduction to said form. Nevertheless, the petite blond's body language was still easily read. Brandon had no trouble deciphering the man's hunched shoulders, loose features, and hung head. '_He was winning._'

"It pleases me to see you're planning to come without a fight." he said retrieving something from his pocket. Justin hadn't needed to look up to know it was his mother's locket.

"You can't blame me for wanting a little insurance policy..." the older vampire went on. Justin caught the movement in his Peripheral vision; as his token swayed with Brandon's fingers.

"Although, contrary to your belief, I don't want to take you by force. I've given you time to say your goodbyes to, Brian is it?" Brandon finished, voice implying he was doing Justin some kind of a favor.

Hearing Brian's name on those callous lips made Justin gag. It felt wrong, unjustifiable, impossible for pure evil to speak the name of an angel. Sac-religion at it's finest.

"You've been following him, us." Justin stated fact with no unnecessary accusation . "Ah," Brandon's eyes came alight, he lowered his voice to an excited hush; like whispered anticipation of surprise party goers. "Stargazing, moonlit strolls hand in hand. How nauseatingly cliché . It'd almost be romantic if it weren't so utterly ridiculous." Brandon straightened his posture and demanded Justin's eyes.

"He is rather delicious, for that I commend you." he practically giggled, then looked up toward the ceiling as if to ponder a complex notion. "I wonder if he taste as yummy as he looks."

Ignoring further contemplation on actually joining Brandon, Justin only focused on his heart. "I won't let you hurt him." he said firmly, with an almost unfathomable fierceness. He straightened his posture steadying himself both physically and emotionally.

He raised his head and stared darkness in the face.

Relying solely on the illumination of Brian's bright soul to light the way. The very light that had already begun to shine within Justin's own darkened life. Brian's soft, warm glow seemingly beamed from Justin's pores. Something that had not gone unnoticed by the other vampire.

"My my isn't this touching?" Brandon smiled "Playing the role of protector. I'd much conclude the only thing your Prince Charming has to fear...is you." he tapped the tip of Justin's nose like he were a small child, or puppy.

"This Professor Kinney certainly must be something. Surely I'd guessed the Ethan boy was not your mate. Though I killed him just the same. His infatuation with you..." he paused "annoyed me." he concluded with a repulsive casualness and a delicate flick of his wrist.

"Tell me Juliet," Brandon inquired almost sing-song. "what's to become of poor Romeo when he finds out what you are?"

Justin's body perked up in response to his Creator's words. He needed to kill the smug sneer on the man's face; and he had just the ammunition.

He straightened his shoulders, and didn't try to halt his own smug smirk; "He already knows...and, he still loves me."

Blue didn't blink.

"_Real_ love. Unlike anything you've ever known. Truer than your life of lies." Justin's features hardened in time with Brandon's.

'_Surely this was insanity. Tapping the cage to taunt the beast._' Especially when the beast itself contained a key to freedom. Justin thought quickly spotting his locket still in the other vampire's grasp. This particular beast possessed the ability to imprison in an instant the small blond.

Much of Justin was telling himself to stop. Then again, Justin Taylor had never been much of a quitter.

He was enjoying the shocked tension his declaration had induced. Perhaps he enjoyed it too much.

The truth tasted bitter on Brandon's tongue. He swallowed the foulness and sterned his features. He wasn't about to let Justin see his reaction. Of course he already knew that shock had been displayed; he tried now to hide the intensity of his disgust. His jealousy.

He had had no intentions of hurting this brunet human, though now he was quickly changing his mind.

Brandon cleared his throat, faux smile firmly in place. "Ah, and so the plot thickens in this epic romance. You always were one for dramatic flare. Like those shows you so adore."

Justin watched the man with narrow eyes, suspicious now of his nonchalance.

"Tell me, have you had a chance to take in many shows since you've arrived in the city?" Brandon grinned ruefully, and caught Justin's gaze. "I myself, feeling a bit nostalgic, thought I'd go see your favorite. Though imagine my surprise when I arrived at the Majestic Theater." Brandon's smile broadened at Justin's nervous shift in body language. " I wasn't disappointed mind you. True, I'd missed the night's final Phantom's showing. But I assure you, I _did_ manage to view quite the enticing performance." he trailed the last syllable like a snake about to strike.

"How dare you follow me, invade my intimate moments!" Justin spoke through clenched teeth.

Brandon laughed. Justin didn't.

"Oh relax, it's nothing I haven't seen before." Brandon purred before continuing "Although, I must say, as hot as it was, nothing turned me on more than your playing. Yet of course I'll try to pretend you were playing for me and not _him_."

At the mention of his sonata, a rush of new qualms came forth. Through the commotion, he'd almost forgotten that Brandon had performed his composition for an audience. Had probably done so for years. The heated anger spurred from this fact, once again blazed. Aggressively threatening to engulf him in flames of hatred unless he soon extinguished it with confrontation.

He stepped closer to Brandon. "You've played my sonata, how could you?" he attempted not to bring tears with his words.

"Oh come now." Brandon countered, no hint of remorse in his voice. "The crowd loved it. It truly is beautiful, though not nearly as much as it's composer. Finished or not, the song is brilliant." he drew close to Justin, pressing his body tightly against the smaller vampire's. He leaned close, whispering his cool breath against Justin's. "_You're_ brilliant." his breathy words, prematurely silenced as he crushed his mouth to Justin's.

A revoltion like he'd never known swam through Justin's veins. Brandon's ice cold lips somehow burned his entire face.

With an intentional roughness, Justin withdrew from the 'kiss'. Brandon met his eyes. Justin swallowed his disgust, then quickly spat it back into Brandon's startled face.

"I hate you." Justin stated defiantly.

Brandon's previously empty eyes were now filled to the brim. They were practically overflowing with cold fury and madness. His winterly gaze emitted an invisible frost, welding his creation to the door. Justin was suddenly reminded of Medusa's deadly stare. Shivers of ice slithered through his already stone body. They writhed furiously like the Dark Goddess' infamous snakes.

Justin's right hand seemingly defrosted, his thawed fingertips just now taking notice of the steel door to Brian's apartment. '_Brian. His world. His life._' existed but inches away. His tattered, yet healing heart, beat with worry.

* * *

Brian continuously polished his apartment's wooden floors with his socked feet.

It had been nearly ten minutes since he'd last seen the sun. Since Justin had stepped into the hall, leaving Brian in an inescapable darkness. A consistently dimming blackness filled with worry and wait.

He fucking hated waiting.

The hallway had been dreadfully quiet.

He knew first hand the capable softness in Justin's voice. Brian assumed the blond had been deliberately speaking hushed to prevent his overactive distress.

It hadn't worked.

He was a distressed mess.

Behind five minutes of silence were five more. Equally as agonizing.

It was a frightening quiet. Like the endless moment in between a skipping heartbeat and the next sound of your pulse. When you can't help but worry the muscle in your heart may never again expand.

On the eleventh minute, Brian heard the sound of someone being pushed against his door. Suddenly, he found himself begging for the peaceful silence. The thumping on metal only elevated his panic.

He went to the door.

* * *

Justin listened as Brian's worry changed into frantic determination. He too could hear the Professor's nervous pacing transform into steps that had a destination.

'_Don't open the door._' the blond tried to will his partner telepathically.

It didn't work.

He stiffened a bit when he saw Brandon's hateful eyes soften with intrigue. There was no mistaking that he too had become aware of Brian's approach.

If he had not already been cold blooded, Justin knew his body would've drained of warmth.

"Ooo!" Brandon clapped his hands giddily "It seems we've attracted the attention of your little pet. Here comes your Reckless Romeo now." he continued to sing in delight.

In a swift motion, the taller vampire pulled Justin away from the door and swiveled his body to face it.

Within seconds steel disappeared. In it's place Brian stood.

"Oh Dear, it seems he _is_ going to be a problem after all." Brandon stated simply.

Of all the sights before him, Brian Kinney saw only one thing. Blue. Crystal blue he tried desperately to read.

There was a pleading evident in his eyes. 'Go inside. It's under control.' they said. Brian ignored them.

He eventually placed his own eyes on the infamous Brandon. Brian was a bit taken aback by the man's, the monster's good looks. He understood instantly how the vampire easily coaxed his prey. Had coaxed Mikey.

Albeit, now in comparison with Justin, the other vampire could have just as easily been invisible. For a moment, he had been. Brian fixated on nothing but his Sunshine.

Instinctively, the Professor's sights honed in on Brandon's hands. Those revolting bony fingers caressing Justin's stone shoulders. He zoned further on the shiny gold laced within those fingers.

He shot Justin a panicked stare. He was fairly certain that the blond remained in control of his own mind. The weak smile dusting Justin's lips confirmed as such.

"Brian go inside." Justin said firmly.

It was not the brunet who spoke next. "Oh," Brandon almost whined "don't send him away, we haven't even gotten to play with him yet. My word, he is something alright. Simply breathtaking." the predator gushed with genuine awe. "Are you positive you're human?" he inquired with a half cocked head.

Justin loathed Brandon addressing Brian directly. Quickly he shifted out from under his creator's grasp and took Brian's hand into his own.

Brandon smacked his lips. "Now, isn't this just adorable? Really," Brandon mimicked wiping a stray tear from his cheek, "my heart, it warms."

Brian had expected a multitude of things from the demon that turned Justin. Arrogant sarcasm however, had not been one of them.

Hazel looked to blue in confusion. The blond just blinked, equally as apprehensive by Brandon's playfulness.

It indeed confused him, but nearly as much as it terrified. He had no idea what the man wanted, nor' what he'd had planned for either him or Brian Kinney. His thoughts were interrupted by that hideous cooing again.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" he happily asked the Professor "I swear we've met before. Although," he chuckled "I'm pretty sure I'd remember a face such as yours."

With this man once more addressing his heart, Justin stepped protectively in front of it.

Brandon halted his short journey towards them.

He cupped a crooked finger around his ear, another pressed to his lips. "Shh. Listen. Do you hear that?" he asked aloud. "There's love in the mortals song. How blissfully dull." he finished. "I wonder, do you think the tone would remain as lovely, if I ripped it from his chest?" His smile spread on his face like an unrestrained fire in hell.

"No!" Justin yelled, though was cut short with Brandon's sharp tongue.

"Ah, that's where I recognize you from." he lowered his head "Pittsburgh." he spoke as he peered through his lashes. "Mmm, yes." he said, closing his eyes to view the memory. "You were gorgeous even then." he remembered with an appreciative nod. "Though you weren't alone. I recall that slender young lad. His name..." he waved his hand towards the ceiling "escapes me."

"Michael." Brian growled through strained muscles and a grinding bite.

Brandon put his hands up as if to say 'OK I apologize' "Michael." the vampire parroted carelessly "In truth, he tasted bitter. Nothing spoils a meal quite like unrequited love. Honestly," he said through a sickening smile "he wasn't even worth the effort."

Justin could hear the emotions fueling Brian's actions. Regardless, the brunet was too quick to stop.

With growing trepidation, Brian crossed the threshold in a moment of blind fury.

"See. Reckless." Brandon confirmed his assessment; fangs now plainly unsheathed.


	18. Fallen

Though Brian's eyes remained widened, they saw nothing. Blackness at first, then red.

Eventually, his vision viewed only Michael. His best friend's sweet smile, the gentle way his body shook with laughter. His overzealous obsession with things Brian could've cared less about.

What he wouldn't give now to read one more cheesy comic book. To build another plastic robot.

Welling tears coated the memories, he blinked the sea from the surface and returned himself to the present.

He rushed to Brandon, trying hard to ignore Justin's worried protests.

Unexpectedly, the vicious vampire didn't grab Brian and end his life as easily as they'd known he was capable. Instead, he gripped Justin's arm and harshly pulled him close.

Frantic energy electrocuted the hall. A dangerous static of impending devastation crackled in the air.

Regardless of Justin's strength, it in no way matched that of a very psychotic Brandon. Nevertheless he struggled against him with everything he had.

It wasn't enough.

It was about to be even less.

His terror filled gaze watched his mother's locket sway back and forth. '_Yes. He was about to have nothing at all._'

He'd only felt it for a fragment of a second. The urgent, unstoppable tugging at his thoughts. The strong pull and capture of his free will.

Now, he looked blankly into his creator's desolate eyes awaiting instruction.

"Kill him." Brandon ordered through narrowed eyes and a facetious grin. '_He would very much enjoy this._' Something like ecstasy surged at the thought, at the image of Justin's perfect mouth tearing into this troublesome music teacher.

The master controlled his limbs. Without pause, Justin's legs and arms moved Brian against the wall. He burned into hazel with the fire of his stare. Brian's eyes displayed a myriad of expressions.

Brandon's words to Justin had gripped Brian tightly. Squeezing him like a vice, crushing him. A terrorizing sense of claustrophobia consumed him.

He stared intently into the palest blue, almost white he'd ever seen. Like deep clear waters seen through crystalline ice.

The color made him cold. This was not his sun.

Steady convinced that his warmth still remained somewhere in that depressing blue, Brian softened. "Justin," the name came less confident than he'd planned "Justin. This isn't you. Not the real you," he halted and gulped watching the blond's fangs extend.

He forced his gaze away. Quickly it landed on a shard of the broken guitar that had stowed away to the hall. Just as quickly he'd decided against trying to retrieve it.

He was convinced this man that held him harshly to the wall was a stranger. A stranger ruthlessly holding Justin hostage as well.  
If only he could make his words reach the imprisoned blond. Then, he told himself, his sunshine would return.

He spoke again, "I see you. I still feel you." he almost added 'infused to my core' but didn't. Instead, he lowered his voice to a shadow of a whisper, "I love you." he managed to choke.

He'd said it. The 'L' word. He didn't regret it.

They'd been the same last words he'd said to Michael. '_Fitting now, as I'm about to die._' he thought.

At the moment, the 'L' word he favored most was _life_. Both his and Justin's.

If the blond hadn't heard him, Brian was ready to accept his fate.

With those three words came a familiar spark in blue. Although but a flicker, it'd been there. The same shimmering light Brian had seen in Justin's eyes at the majestic. As he played his song. Again as they'd made love.

'_I love you_.' The phrase echoed in Justin's mind. It was faint, distant.

He was sure he'd recognized the voice but couldn't place it. Everything came muffled and from all directions.

The darkness that lingered on the edges of his vision began to encompass him. He blinked trying to wash away the terrifying peripheral blindness, like one might do to remove a speck of dust.

Reopening his eyes, he studied the face of his prey. A sufficiently fierce bolt of recognition flashed through him.

"Brian." Justin whispered.

Frantically, Justin attempted to regain control of his body...to no avail.

He longed to scream, he begged to cry, yearned to release his love.

He couldn't.

Instantly he imagined being responsible for Brian Kinney's death. He sickened at the prospect.

"Oh for Satan's sake!" Brandon's irritated voice boomed. "If you want something done, you must do it yourself." he complained, pushed Justin aside, and took the brunet by the collar.

Too fast to fathom, Brian's body flew across the hall.

His fragile form first struck the banister atop the penthouse floor's only staircase. It's ornate mahogany carved angel slowed him.  
The decorative topper ripped from the railing with laughable ease.

Hundreds of splinters punctured his golden flesh. Few substantial wooden shards stabbed impossibly deep into his torso.

The fallen angel landed face up, her lifeless eyes pleading for salvation. Brian too, prayed.

He at last met the hall's end's brick wall with a violent crack.

White hot pain escaped from every pore.

Justin stood cemented in place, he looked on in frightening fascination through someone else's eyes.

The scent of Brian's profusely pouring blood beckoned to him. His muscles went rigid as he begged them to remain in place.

'_Brian._' Justin had called to him.

His Justin.

Regardless of anything else, his heart eased knowing his sunshine was not a monster.

Brian was almost entranced by the quantity of his own blood pouring onto the crisp white of his v-neck shirt.

Streaking canvas with his pulse.

Nausea squirmed through him, a clammy sweat streamed down his face. Several tears mingled with the current.

The searing heat of his head was in direct contrast with the rest of his freezing body. Every degree of his body heat was pouring from the inferno; dripping blood like lava down his forehead.

His eyes stayed fixed on the spreading stain on his clothing; on the cheap carpet beneath him.

He'd only been seriously injured once before, eleven years ago. He'd venture to guess that the pain of his pummeled hand hurt worse than now. Though, he'd just as confidently wager that now, he was slightly numbed by shock.

All of those nights he'd been haunted by visions of Mikey's death. The endless nightmares in which he'd struggled to imagine what pain his friend had endured.

Now, like some sort of twisted, self fulfilling prophecy, he lain feeling exactly that.

He was experiencing Michael's death from the other perspective.

Knowing now what it was like. The unnerving sense that there was nowhere to go, no way to fight it. To die.

The pain was excruciating, but still not as he had expected. It in no way could compare to the anguish, to the ache in his heart.

An indescribable uselessness that resided in his sense of violation. A terrifying awareness of the true frailty of the human body.

He squinted through the blood to see Justin; his face was stunned. Harsh. Hungry. Still beautiful.

Too weak to resist his conscious need for descent, he drifted inexorably toward sleep, and he's supposed, toward death.

Brandon watched the human demonstrate his weakness. He was unsure as to when exactly he'd decided against biting Brian. He had just been too infuriated at Justin's hesitance to enjoy the Professor's death as he'd hoped.

His jealous anger had hastily thrown him the length of the hall. Sort of a symbolic tribute to tossing Brian Kinney from Justin's life.

Still slightly disappointed over not drinking the gorgeous human dry, he'd supposed shattered bones and bleeding wounds were treat enough.

Though the bleeding brunet smelled to die for, he was rather satiated. Brandon almost wished he could save him for later. '_Ah well, collateral damage in his retrieval of his true target._' His Justin.

"Aww, It seems I've broken your toy." Brandon pouted facetiously, noting the blond's stunned features. He saw too that he still remained rooted in place. '_Good._'

Brandon casually approached the wooden pulp of what had once been the banister.

He eyed the fallen angel and bent to pick her up. "Ah, such a shame. Tragic really, to demolish such fine old fashioned architecture." he spoke with mock sadness.

"Nothing is made with such quality anymore." he said, making eye contact with Justin, then moved in front of him. "Yes, the best things are those made years ago, with true dedication. Don't you agree?" he held blue with green, directly implying that he'd been speaking about Justin himself.

"Yes." a stranger answered in Justin's small voice. Parts of his mind and all of his heart were disgusted at the feel of Brandon's searching lips.

There was certainly something unfamiliar with this moment. Never before, in countless times, had Justin ever been aware of Brandon's control. Usually all consuming, this time was different.

To be both compelled and not, simultaneously was throwing questions at Justin he couldn't catch, namely because he didn't have full control of his reflexes...yet.

Trudging through his muddled mind, he came across an explanation. Most likely, enough of Ben's diseased blood had weakened the blond to Brandon's capture.

A tremor of optimism escaped with his nauseating kiss. He'd hoped the other vampire would remain too self absorbed to notice.  
Gradually, Justin felt dominance enter his limbs, his fingers, his mind.

Insistent on keeping up the charade, he grudgingly allowed Brandon's hands to roam. At the same time, his eyes did the same.

Almost magnetically, they latched onto Brian's crumbled body that was rapidly bleeding into non-existence.

More than anything he wanted to now, no longer enticed to feed, run to his love. He needed to stop the flowing blood. He knew however, that he couldn't. The second he went to move, his creator would end him.

As he thought about losing Brian, he knew that every theory, every piece of lore he'd ever read had been wrong.

_This_ loss would be the death of him...No. Stake. Required.

He forced himself to restrain from running to the brunet's side. He held hope in the soft singing song of Brian's still beating heart.

He'd have to be quick.

He retreated his eyes and replaced Brian with something else.

Something useful.

A splinter of hope.

A splinter of wood.

A stray piece of Michael Novotny's guitar.

Justin took a moment to relish in the irony. Victim would soon, in a sense, _kill_ his killer.

"Justin my boy. It's wonderful to see such commitment. You're back where you belong." Brandon's voice spilled it's usual arrogance.

Choking on his intense desire to shove him away; Justin pulled Brandon closer, deepening their kiss and casually moving towards the stake.

Brandon mistook the motion as erotic excitement, gladly gliding with the blond.

There was nothing lazy or graceful about the kiss, almost struggle. They lusted, dived, darted frantically against one another with a tightly defined atmosphere of air. An unnatural frenzied dance.

It's final step, the final plie, ending when Justin swiftly bent to retrieve his makeshift weapon.

Brandon didn't notice. He continued to hungrily grab at the blond's waist.

Justin's fingers gripped the guitar shard tightly. He could easily feel the twisted metal that once was strings.

Not unlike those that connected him to Brandon's agenda.

Marionette to puppeteer.

The shredded piece did not pierce his skin, but he could feel the energy of impending death, resting inert, but ready within wood.

Brandon had been correct in his assessment. Justin was most definitely committed. Nothing held precedent to the task at hand.

With the elegant grace with which he played the piano, his delicate wrist performed a brutal note. With a forceful grunt he impaled Brandon's chest. He could only hope it contained a heart; as so often he'd doubted as such.

Brandon's growl touched the air, a painful gurgling rattled within. The blood of his recent victim poured from the mouth that had originally stolen it.

He met blue with bewildered awe.

Justin pushed the wood further into him. _'Yes. He was committed. Deeply.'_

Both men stumbled backwards.

Justin with shock and pride.

Brandon with shock and an unnerving panic.

"What have you done?" his rage was stifled with rising blood. He coughed. Justin blinked.

There was an all too familiar look in Brandon's eyes. A glimmer of insanity and hate, violence.

Justin could only stare. He stood, glued in place, fearful to the state of paralysis.

Before he could form another thought, Brandon was on him. In one last ditch effort to regain control, the other vampire threw Justin with one rough swing of his arm.

The blond felt every ounce of himself give in, as every ounce of Brandon's final escape of adrenaline hit him.

In between frantic blinks, he saw his creator collapse. He lie sprawled on the floor; his gnarled face forever frozen in a vicious smile.

He closed his eyes tightly, his body in torturous motion, his mind spinning even more.

He was hit in the chest.

At least, for one hopelessly optimistic moment, Justin _hoped_ he'd been hit.

Reality proved otherwise.

It hadn't been a blow, but the jagged splinter of the pummeled banister to assault him. It's bluntness having no effect on it's ability to slice through him.

The piercing wood now protruded through his heart, his feet gently dragged the ground with his heightened elevation.

A pierce as fierce and fatal as the Grim Reaper's scythe.

Equally as painful.

Equally as inevitable.

He looked at his unconscious broken heart once again, then back toward the devil.

His fear had morphed into a depression like an endless field of ashes left behind of his ruined dreams. Though, beneath the ash scattered coals of glowing fury lain.

Even as his anger built he knew it was a luxury. It had no effect or meaning; for the only true weapon against fate was resignation.

As the tears escaped his eyes he wished he could only see Brian's one last time. A final glimpse of amber shaded love before he saw no more.

His ears strained determinedly to take with him the faint sound of Brian's song.

The breathtaking music that played flawless even as his breath was being taken from him. Regardless of his rapidly ending tune, it had never sounded more beautiful. Brian Kinney's heart played softly. One final swan song of unyielding beauty and mesmerizing melody.

Justin smiled in spite of his situation. He couldn't call it 'death', for one must be _alive_ to truly die.

He listened to Brian's heart, grateful it still beat. Naively hopeful he'd be saved.

More grateful though that that heart had once beat for him. If but only for a moment, Justin had indeed lived.

His 'life' now lie dying just mere feet before him.

He wished that when his own pitiful existence ceased, he'd get to see Brian again. Though, _'That could never be.'_ He hung his head.

The soulless belonged nowhere.

After an indeterminable amount of time he drifted to black. Maddening nothingness encroached him.

Regretful, weakened eyelids shielded blue from the sight they craved most.

Just mere moments too late, a flicker of time between relentless darkness and the brightest gleam they'd ever known...

...Brian's now opened eyes.


	19. Resurrection

**Sunday Night**

* * *

Brian blinked away the intrusive fluids blurring his vision.

Stunned, he brought his hand to his head.

Blood poured.

Instinctively he gagged and bit back a cry. Though his tears' intent still shook his body.

Everything ached.

Though he was too deep in shock to feel more than the thinnest edge of pain.

He focused first on Brandon's body, a prominent memory stabbed his brain. He winced. _'Yes. The vampire had thrown him when Justin refused...'_ the thought stopped short.

"Justin." he rasped and frantically scanned the wide hall. A pain deeper than any physical gash screamed within.

''Justin!" his voice screamed out, though the word formed empty of sound.

Brian gathered what little strength remained and scooted himself from the wall. Groaning, he got to his knees. With tremendous effort, he stood.

He stood.

He watched.

He waited.

He feared the worst.

Justin didn't move any of those beautiful muscles._ 'The worst confirmed.'_

Taking the first step he felt he may fall. Both his body and his mind were off kilter. In fact, the whole world seemed askew at the loss. Without sunshine reminding it to spin.

He was becoming unhinged. The shutters protecting his heart smacked violently against his chest.

He pushed through his body's protests and forced it to approach his lifeless love.

He cared not what the blond had argued, _'He'd been alive, he'd had a heart.'_ As gentle, kind, and loving a heart as anyone had ever owned. Regardless if it beat or not.

At last reaching the broken boy, words poured from his lips. "No. No. No. No. No. Justin! "

He buried his head in the still neck of the man, although, 'boy' better fit the scene.

This was not the strong vampire he'd known. Here, now, he looked small, weak, fragile, lost, alone...gone. All of the things that Brian himself currently felt.

With as gentle a tug as he could issue, the brunet removed Justin from the murderous wood. The sickening sound caused him to gag, and momentarily lose his balance. Drained now of any strength, he slid to the ground, his angel in his arms.

He felt useless.

Even as he wrapped his long arms tightly around the man in his lap, he was a failure. His arms hadn't been strong enough to protect Justin Taylor.

This was all his fault.

His fucking temper and need to play avenger leaped ahead of practicality.

Brian Kinney was no hero.

He lightly brushed blond hair from Justin's brow. His always frigid skin, felt even colder. Never again would he see blushing rose upon these cheeks, he traced his finger gently along his jaw. Never again would he get lost in blue, he brushed golden lashes. They tickled the tips of his fingers.

He rested his gaze on Justin's hand. Those delicate fingers, paler than usual, were gripped tightly into a fist.

Brian gently unclenched them, peeling back to reveal a spot of shining gold. _'Justin's locket.'_

Brian's heart warmed, a fleeting feeling of relief breezed through him. _'At least he died with a piece of his life.'_ With the humanity Brian himself had seen.

Golden fingers clasped the golden soul around Justin's slender neck. _'He'd deserved to wear it.'_ He knew the blond would disagree, and almost let himself laugh as he pictured that temper he was sure he'd have had and that...smile.

The pending laugh turned too quickly into a strangled, dry sob. Brian coughed.

He brought his fingers to touch the most delicious lips, he bent to touch them with his own.

One. Last. Time.

He sighed into the kiss, breathing his breaths as Justin's own.

The quiet tears came steady now. He could taste the salt as liquid regret mingled with the blood streaking Justin's mouth.

It was almost too delicate to bear, the softness with which their lips touched. He quivered and whispered, "I love you so much."

He sniffled and buried his head into ever dampening blond hair. The tears flowed heavy.

Drops of love cascaded from his eyes. Raining on sunshine.

Justin was fated to live forever. Eternities weren't as long as they used to be.

The pain was increasing, especially from his head. Brian knew it would not be long before he joined Mikey _and_ Justin. He chose to believe that. Justin Taylor had brightened Brian's darkened world, had had a soul, a light.

A carmine veil descended over Brian's vision. It felt as if he had turned to water, like his body was about to evaporate into the silence.

He stole one last glance at his light before the shadows claimed him.

* * *

Slowly coming to, Justin licked his lips and stretched his arms. His hazy thoughts shifted with his body.

At first he felt as if he were waking from a restful sleep. Then...he remembered.

With a startled jolt, he shot upright.

Looking around, he panicked. He had evidently been lying on Brian's lap. The stubborn man had used his final energy to come to him.

Justin felt angry at him for it, and also elated, and touched.

Brian Kinney really _had_ loved him. The true him.

The past tense in which he'd thought, stabbed through him, bringing his memory of Brandon forward.

Apparently, the banister hadn't pierced his heart. Though surely the shock alone had rendered him unconscious, Brandon _hadn't_ destroyed him. Nevertheless, he'd certainly wished he had.

Justin turned his body slightly, something brushed his upper chest. He brought his hand to still the swaying locket. His fingers enclosed the jewelry, his eyes closed. He could faintly remember secretly palming it during his forced kiss with his creator; gripping it fiercely as the sharp wood sliced through him. After that...he didn't know.

Opening his eyes again had filled in the blanks.

_'This breathtaking, breathless human had placed it around his neck.'_

Pulling himself to sit beside Brian's lifeless body, he rested his head on his shoulder. He remembered doing the same that night on the roof. He'd listened to Brian's breaths and awakening heart.

_'Oh, how he missed the way he'd breathed. And that song...' T_wo things he would no longer hear.

Depression pressed heavy upon him. The death of that song had been a loss worth grieving in of itself.

Although Justin missed the melody more than words could say, he would never forget it. The notes forever etched, like sheet music on his heart.

Now, he heard only the deafening silence of tremendous loss.

His cursed existence continued, he was forced to remain while both his creator and heart no longer were.

For an echo of a moment he'd envied them.

He pulled Brian gingerly into his own lap, reversing the scene from which he'd awakened. Lovingly, he maneuvered the brunet's head to rest face up.

Lightly he traced his beautiful features, the touch felt muted, distant. Giving it further thought, _everything_ did.

Perhaps still groggy. Perhaps still in shock; all of Justin's senses has lessened.

He dragged his touch along Brian's jaw, next, those delicate eyelashes he'd always adored, desperately trying to believe he was only asleep.

He didn't believe in a world without Brian. It was a world where nothing held meaning.

He'd now walk within his nightmare alone, broken, lost.

He whispered, "Where do I go from you?"

There was no answer. There never would be.

His eyes flashed over Brandon. The vampire had taken away his life a century ago. Now, he'd killed his heart.

Still...he remained.

Justin was no stranger to the unjust. This however effortlessly exceeded 'unfair'.

Brian and he had only just found one another, had truly only learned to use their hearts. Not mere days before they'd been forced to break them.

Justin stared at Brian's lips, his own pleaded to touch them.

He'd allowed it.

Softer than he thought himself capable, he kissed his prince's lips.

Diluted or not, his senses were aflame. Such a simple touch ignited a burning need to hold Brian tighter.

He did.

Silently he begged the God that no longer loved him, to take the man that did.

Brian Kinney deserved nothing short of divine eternity.

Tears found his eyes in short order. Soon the waves of remorse and relentless guilt spilled forth.

His arms brought Brian impossibly closer, encircling him.

In that sense, Justin had failed to protect him from harm.

_'This wasn't right!'_ his mind lectured reality.

Instantly, he would have given his 'life' in Brian's place. That was of course if he'd thought it had been worth anything at all.

He didn't.

The heaviest sobs came now, as did the heaving gasps he'd never needed before. He was so distraught that his body was unsure how to respond.

His thoughts raced with such speed Justin would almost swear he'd felt them pulsating through him.

"I love you." he whispered in vain. For he knew any words, any expression really, were grossly inadequate.

Brian was gone. His warmth and kindness lost forever.

Even the most heartfelt of words were only words. Meaningless.

Justin's stomach cramped at the profound grief. He clenched tightly, pulling into himself. Shutting out the world that had long ago evicted him.

He felt alone, an intense loneliness deeper than ever before.

As a sob trembled in his chest, a light vibration trembled beneath the floor. _'Someone was coming up the stairs.'_

With the sound of his sobs now overshadowed by the hurried sound of footsteps, Justin tensed. At first he'd worried it was Brian's downstairs neighbor investigating the loud commotion. He'd known the gentleman was out of town, but at the rate his luck was traveling, Mr. Jameson could easily appear before him.

He sifted through explanations he'd have at the ready to compel the man. Fortunately, he hadn't needed them.

To his enormous relief, Professor Bruckner and Hunter stood at the top of the battered staircase.

"Holy shit!" Hunter's exclaim startled the quiet air. Ben stopped short as the student quickly rushed to Brandon's body, he'd leaned close to examine it. "Jesus." he whispered and tapped the end of the guitar stake protruding from his chest.

The lack of response to his observational phrases prompted the boy to turn around. Now, seeing Justin cradling Professor Kinney, his excitement of the scene turned somber. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is he?" he didn't need to say it.

In answer Justin simply closed his eyes.

Hunter looked at Ben who had evident tears of his own welling in his eyes. Eyes that now studied Brandon, Hunter followed their gaze.

"Take him to the roof." Ben ordered quietly with a nod toward the emergency exit beside him, "I'll be up in a...moment." he choked.

_'He'd needed to speak to Justin. He'd needed to see his friend. He'd needed...hell, he didn't know.'_ With the kid busy upstairs, he'd hoped to have time to figure it out.

"I'd like to study him for a few hours, before sunrise." he instructed almost absentmindedly. As excited as the Professional in him was, the friend within was currently devastated.

Hunter nodded dutifully, though not without a few grumbled, smartass remarks about the weight of Brandon and "Don't mind me, I'll just do it myself." Admittedly, such intense, emotional situations made Hunter uncomfortable, but he _was_ pretty intrigued to watch the bloodsucker evaporate into the sun.

When the door shut behind him and Ben could no longer hear the thumps of the boy ascending the stairs (vampire in tow) he knelt beside Justin, who had still yet to speak.

Ben felt his chest swell with a sob that, if voiced, would be explosive. A single tear would release a flood. He blinked them away and swallowed the cry.

Justin had no such control.

With the simple act of locking eyes with him, the blond had ceaselessly begun to pour with grief. He was hysterical.

His clear tears and gasping breaths, a symphony of love lost.

At the thought Ben paused to recap. _'Clear tears? Gasping breaths?'_ A ludicrous amount of optimism and intrigue consumed him. _'Could it be true?'_

"Justin," he almost giddily called out, the blond didn't respond. His heavy intakes of air continued to strangle his voice. "Justin!" Ben yelled, demanding the blond's attention.

At the severity of Ben's voice Justin stilled, his ragged cries abruptly silenced.

Without a word, Ben gripped Justin's hand into his own. It was warm. He placed the man's hand against his own chest. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading.

Blue eyes stared at him as if he'd gone mad.

He waited.

In the sweep of movement Justin had been extremely confused. This man was supposedly Brian's friend. _'How could he smile?'._

Then his wonder came to a screeching halt. All reason and logic defied itself in the moment.

"What?" Justin sputtered a slew of broken syllables. Beneath his _warm_ palm he felt...his heartbeat. Felt himself breathing. Upon further examination, he realized the tears he had released were also, warm, clear.

"What?" he said again. All meaningful words paused on his lips. It was impossible to explain the unexplainable, yet he somehow guessed Ben could do exactly that.

He watched wide eyed as the Professor ripped Brian's t-shirt from the collar.

"I thought so." Ben said almost laughing, "Unbelievable." he added, stood and ran his hands haphazardly through his hair; leaving his locks as confused and disarrayed as Justin's thoughts.

Placing his gaze back on Brian, Justin inspected the man's now exposed chest. His beautiful, _wound-less_ chest. The only evidence of harm rested solely on the blood on his clothing.

His previously sinking stone heart floated back to the surface, then began to overflow in an outpour of relief.

Justin's fingertips savored the steady feel of Brian's pulse. "He's alive." he whispered, then saw Ben's almost exasperated look. A look that clearly stated '_That's _the news you find shocking?'

Convinced he must be dreaming, but more than willing to revel in it anyway, Justin smiled briefly.

With a rush of emotion that pinched his heart and surprised him with it's intensity, Justin spoke. "I'm human." Blue eyes alight with wonder he whispered, "How?"

Ben nodded, goofy grin in place. "To borrow a phrase from our friend here," he motioned toward Brian, "Un-fucking-believable!" he continued to speak in a rush of ramblings, "After we went to your friend Daphne's, whose perfectly fine by the way, went to a friend's party, Brandon hadn't been invited..."

Though Justin was elated to hear of her safety, he'd halted Ben's story with his _'get to the point'_ look.

He did.

"Anyway," Ben continued "after we left her safe, we went back to the office, did some digging on merging. Fascinating stuff," he paused, as if to recall what he'd learned.

Once more he knelt beside the other two men. He admired the way Justin lovingly continued to stroke Brian's face. He'd hoped the man would awaken soon. He looked again to impatient blue.

"An ancient clan once speculated that if a merged pair, human and...not, were to mix tears from the heart during, death..." he whispered the last word still having a hell of a time believing what was right in front of him. "they would cheat the reaper." he finished.

His eyes fell on Justin's locket. "Of course!" Ben exclaimed, touching the gleaming token.

"My locket?" Justin asked perplexed.

"Was it near you when you were hurt?" Ben asked.

"I think so." Justin answered to the best of his knowledge.

"Don't you see?" Ben was very excitable Justin observed. Also, he didn't see.

"Only the monster was killed. Brandon couldn't stake your soul, so to speak. Because, it didn't belong to you." he smiled warmly and for the first time touched the face of his friend; who shifted under his fingers and Justin's arms, "It belonged to _him_."

"Brian." Justin gasped at the movement, tears of an all new emotion building up.

Ben stood to give them space. "Two merged souls are instinctively intertwined. The love shared between them is stronger than any evil. It creates equal parts. Bodies. Minds. Hearts. Two halves of One. Perfect. Soul."

He looked at the couple again, "One perfect. Flawless._ Unharmed_ soul." he finished, highlighting the fact that both humans now remained in the best of health.

Brian groaned a little and turned his body fluidly.

Ben delivered on final smile to Justin's eyes, then retreated to the roof.

With an indescribable eagerness, Justin awaited those beautiful eyes.

As if already Brian hadn't given him enough, he too gave him this.

Gentle, confused yet still burning hazel looked up at him.

"Sunshine?" Brian breathed as both a question and a surprised observation.

Before Justin could say a word, Brian's hands pulled him forward. His delicious mouth entangled itself within Justin's.

It was an experience beyond his most creative of dreams. No longer present was the loathsome desire for Brian's blood, the inviting scream of his pulse. All that existed now was raw, heated want and the electrifying intensity of yearning desire.

It tasted warm.

It tasted unbelievable.

It tasted like love.

The swirling rhythm of the kiss reminded him of the fluid melody of Brian's song.

Music he hadn't failed to hear because the man had been gone, but because Justin too, now played a song of his own.

Although he could no longer hear it, he could undeniably _feel_ it.

It was there, pulsating through every nerve in his body, exuding from every pore of Brian's.

He would take this feeling over sound any day.

At the moment, he was convinced he wouldn't mind if he were deaf.


	20. Epilogue

**Three Weeks Later...**

* * *

The reddening sun balanced atop the tallest buildings, seemingly setting the city ablaze.

A cooling breeze mingled with the remaining heat of the setting sun. Streaming waves of golden fire gently blew across the naked bodies of two lovers.

As it began to sink behind the city, paving the way for sprayed autumn light, it dyed their flesh with the tint of heat.

A heat as strong as their lust, but not as strong as their love.

Justin enjoyed the cooling breeze dancing across his skin. Among the countless new sensations he'd felt now, temperature change was a favorite.

Although his senses were no longer supernaturally enhanced, this was better.

Exceedingly so.

As he felt Brian writhe within and beneath him, the impending night's wind contrasted the fire of their movement.

Little things, human things, like sweat, enthralled him.

He delighted in the mixing of moisture he and Brian were producing despite winter's flirtatious winds. His eyes devoured the way the sunlight made it glisten.

_'The sun.'_

_'The glorious sun.'_

Of everything that had changed for them, nothing compared to the return of daylight to his unending night.

Except perhaps, making love.

This new life tried it's hardest to steal his time with Brian, especially with Ben constantly asking him questions for the new book he was penning. Justin hadn't minded, Benjamin Bruckner was a true ally. A friend. Young Hunter had even taken to being his protege' of sorts.

Despite the hectic days since he'd turned, he and Brian still found a monumental amount of moments to be together.

Like now.

They had been on the rooftop of Alice Tully Hall for several hours, exploring, enjoying, loving each other.

In immeasurable days before Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor had merely existed. Now, he was_ living_.

Overly content to grow old, actually _age_ with his beautiful partner.

Happily he'd said goodbye to eternity and replaced it with every second they would live together. Joyously ecstatic to see how long their particular forever would be.

Confident now too, that he would have a place beside Brian after death.

His vacant soul was no longer haunted.

He had a heart.

An afterlife awaited him regardless. Perhaps even a reunion with his mother. His optimism was endless, his hope was as well.

Conjoined with the building orgasm Brian was constructing, Justin felt infinitely higher than the rooftop.

He'd have ventured to guess he was somewhere now beyond the heaven he'd one day see, and the stars that had granted this wish.

His wish to live.

His wish to love.

Deep burgundy clouds unraveled against the sky like a tapestry, glowing amber threads woven throughout.

The sky appeared as soft as the velvet touch of Brian's roaming fingertips.

As delicate as the petals of the autumn rose he'd given the man, those fingers grazed his greedy skin. Relentless in it's need to feel Brian's touch _everywhere_.

A bone penetrating shiver found them both. An icy chill that had little to do with the crisp October air.

Justin glided his body as he'd done so many time before. His slender hands hungrily tracing Brian's gasping chest.

He bit his bottom lip to imprison the moan attempting to escape, his hands caressed Brian's hips.

The brunet smiled smugly, enjoying the reaction he was eliciting from the blond. Relishing in the affect he was having. That he _always_ had.

Wordlessly, they increased the speed of their thrusts, their breaths too, accelerated. Undoubtedly racing their beating hearts to sheer euphoric bliss.

Brian's head was thrown back. His clenched eyes and digging fingers signaled to Justin, his nearing his own pleasurable end.

Justin could feel his heart pound roughly against his chest. Within seconds, he retrieved Brian's song from his memory.

It played through him in time with his orgasm.

He knew every note, every pause. It truly had been the most beautiful of songs.

Enough so that together, they'd completed his sonata.

Brian, with his now perfect hand, had composed what had always been missing...Both in Justin's world and in his song.

Brian Kinney had played it's needed accompaniment.

Perfect harmony.

Tonight they'd play it for an audience at the 'Phantom workshop'. Justin would finally perform his finished masterpiece for the world.

Though now, after being privy to Brian's song and completing his life's composition, Justin had heard the most breathtaking music anyone would ever hear. There was no longer a need to search for anything more.

He excited at the prospect of exploring other arts.

Everything was different now, he wanted to live every moment with vicious intensity.

He thought about visual art. Perhaps he'd take up painting, sculpting.

Certainly he had humanity's best muse, his personal model, his golden Adonis.

Together, he and Brian could sculpt any life they wanted. Truly mold himself into whoever he longed to be.

Glancing up, he caught sight of his reflection in a nearby skylight.

_'His reflection.'_ like everything else, he was still getting used to that. As he looked at the man reflected beneath him, he closed his eyes and savored the final moments of Brian's love and the warmth of the setting sun.

Shudders of satisfied desire coursed through Brian. Justin had once more effortlessly brought him a happiness he'd never imagined. Then again, this blond never failed to prove the impossible, possible.

As Justin released his final coital moan, shimmering strands of himself lightly coated Brian's stomach. It was something the Professor always savored. Though in truth, it was often Justin's _sounds_ of passion that excited Brian beyond his physical movements.

His sighs, his cries, his moans.

Brian was sure no noise could ever transcend the beauty of Justin Taylor...breathing.

Crippled by a sudden urge to taste said breaths, he tugged on golden silk and found those welcoming lips.

Having both finished, neither was eager to withdraw. Instead they remain interlocked, Justin's lithe form pressing now against Brian's torso.

They remained body to body. Mouth to mouth. Heart to heart.

Ragged gasps and satisfied smiles accompanied the sunset.

Justin closed his eyes.

Brian didn't.

It was every bit as beautiful as he'd envisioned... _his_ Sun shining in the light of God's.

He was convinced there'd never be a more stunning view.

He reached out his long arm and pulled the forgotten blanket over them. The gentle breeze blew, sending blond cascading across his neck. It tickled.

"Ready to go perform?" he asked, still a little out of breath and lightly kissed whichever part of Justin his lips could reach.

Brian could feel the blond smile against his chest before he slightly pulled himself upwards to meet Brian's eyes. "I thought we just did." he smiled _that_ smile that started all of this in the first place.

If this man didn't knock it off with his cuteness, Brian knew they'd_ never_ leave this roof.

Justin kissed the tip of Brian's nose, and snuggled tightly back against his body. The brunet encircled him in his arms, content to never let him go.

Brian knew he'd never again know loneliness. Never again would he lose his way, get lost in the darkness.

He'd always have sunshine to guide him.

In just a month, his life had been caught in a chaotic swirl of answered prayers and unbelievable dreams.

And he had embraced every magical minute.

For the first time in too many years, Brian Kinney was whole.

He'd always suspected that being able to play the piano again would fill the void in him, he'd been wrong.

Albeit composing again had excited him, just as knowing that Debbie would be in the audience tonight, had also brought a smile to his face; those things were worthless compared to what truly completed him...Justin Taylor.

They hadn't needed immortality.

This, being in love, was where forever truly began.

Their unyeilding devotion was their own entryway to eternity.

Their hearts beating together, playing the song of true emotion, that would never come to an end.

The unique melody that could be heard by only them...

...'Love's Eternal Refrain.'

The End.


End file.
